He gets frustrated when I don't cum, help please?

[Anonymous]

Okay, so... like most girls, I don't cum from just sex. Sometimes when I have sex with my boyfriend, regardless of what he's doing, there are times where I just don't cum. It has nothing to do with him, sometimes the universe just doesn't align and it doesn't happen. Maybe the rhthym is off, maybe I had a bad day, maybe my hormones are out of whack cause my period just ended, etc. The issue I'm having isn't that sometimes I can't cum, because I still enjoy sex and I enjoy him getting off. The issue I am having is my boyfriend gets really frustrated that I can't cum sometimes. He tries really hard, but sometimes in trying really hard we lose the rhthym or he does things he thinks SHOULD get me off and it just doesn't, then he'll start up on me like: "Okay, I'm trying really hard here, are you gonna cum yet or?" or he'll just get rude and be like: "Are you almost there yet?" He'll say it in a frustrated tone. It bothers the hell out of me because if I say I'm not close or something he'll just... stop. Then the sex is over and he's pouting and frustrated. He takes it super personally and acts like I don't think he's good enough or his skills suck, no matter what I tel him. Sometimes he plain acts like I have control over it and it's somehow my fault for not being attracted to him. It's so aggravating because no matter how I explain it to him, he still gets pissy and pouty. It's damaging our sex life to the point where I have begun just lying saying I came even though I didn't just to avoid conflict. Also, before anyone suggests this: he is against vibrators because he finds them "offensive" - I have to use them on myself if I want toy play. How can I help my boyfriend feel better about the fact that me cumming isn't always just super easy and getting upset doesn't help? You can leave any extra tips on how to help me cum easier/faster too if you have any.

[Anonymous]

For many people, becoming orgasmic takes practice. Masturbation helps people figure out what feels good and what helps them build tension toward orgasm. Having already taken matters into your own hands, you've taken a step in the right direction.

Levels of concentration for orgasm vary for everyone. Some find it helpful to "be in the moment" and focus on sensation, feelings, and intensity, rather than worry about the anticipated end result. You many want to try to relax and enjoy the experience instead of concentrating too hard on reaching orgasm. Reducing pressure you put on yourself, taking the time, romancing yourself, and creating an atmosphere that turns you on can elevate the experience. Also, your thought patterns can influence your concentration. If you think "I'll never do this," or "I have work to do," this can work against you.

It's common for people to get annoyed or discouraged while trying to orgasm. When this happens, the trick is to take it to the next level. One way to do this is not to "give up," but to continue to stimulate yourself. Think of it as if you were on a diving board: you take a running start... when you get to the end... don't stop... take the plunge!

You may decide to take the plunge by experimenting with new sensations. People masturbate in different ways to heighten the level of sexual arousal. Some prefer using their fingers and hands, with or without lubricant. Others masturbate with sex toys, fantasy, or erotic magazines or videos. Kegel exercises can also increase sexual feeling and orgasmic intensity (see Kegel Technique). In addition, touching other body parts at the same time can add another dimension to pleasure — some enjoy stimulating their nipples, anus, neck, arms, and/or back.

[Opinion Owner]

Many women share your frustration with achieving orgasm during sex. If you're searching for ecstasy, looking beyond vaginal penetration may be helpful. Of course there are endless ways to reach your own version of Sally's show-stopper, but involving the clitoris in the fun is often the key. Only 30 percent of women orgasm through penile thrusting (or other forms of vaginal and/or anal penetration) alone. This is not about failure; this is about anatomy. Consider this: when a man masturbates, he stimulates his penis, which is loaded with nerve endings. Vaginal and anal intercourse stimulates his penis in a similar way. For a woman, the nerve endings (6,000 to 8,000, in fact) are concentrated in the clitoris. During sex, her vagina may be stimulated, but her clitoris may get little attention. The typical missionary position also does little to stimulate the woman's G-spot, a pleasure center inside the vagina. During vaginal sex, try tilting your hips or shifting into a sexual position which is more amenable to stimulating the clitoris or G spot. If that doesn't do the trick, you or your partner may need to take matters into your own hands. Rubbing, pressing, or massaging your clit or G spot during intercourse may provide an extra dose of pleasure that sends you over the edge. During anal sex, encouraging your partner to stroke your clitoris may make the experience more enjoyable for both of you.

[Opinion Owner]

Since you orgasm through masturbation, have you thought about playing show and tell with your partner? Many couples enjoy masturbating in front of or with each other. Watching you pleasure yourself may be a big turn-on for your partner, and it gives him the opportunity to learn just how you like to be touched. Like any new sexual activity, masturbating with your partner may feel risky or embarrassing at first, but you both have a lot to gain by showing him what makes you tick. As for your partner, you mentioned that he often comes right away, leaving you little time to rev up your engine. Would it help you both feel more relaxed if you slow down the pace during intercourse? One option for vaginal sex is a woman-on-top position so you can control the speed and depth of penetration, or you can try an interlude of mutual masturbation or oral pleasure to prolong your lovemaking session. For more ways to help your partner put off getting off.

[Asker]

It's not so much me having an issue with not being able to orgasm, it's more my boyfriend that has the frustration, not me. I never give up on trying to orgasm, it's all him getting pissy and then stopping. But this is helpful nonetheless.

[Opinion Owner]

If he is still unsuccessful, consider that certain medications, drugs, or alcohol can interfere with orgasm. If after trying the above, orgasm still doesn't happen, you can see your health care provider.

[Opinion Owner]

Use a sex toy, such as a vibrating cock ring, to keep sensations strong during intercourse. Your lady will experience more intense clitoral stimulation, which might just bring her closer to orgasm as well! Experiment with different positions and determine what feels best. You may find it easier to climax with deeper or shallower penetration according to the position you’re in.

[Asker]

I don't have orgasm frustration though. Lmao that wasn't my question.

[Asker]

Also I included that he doesn't like toys. I can orgasm most times just sometimes it doesn't happen.

[Opinion Owner]

Well take you what you need, if it doesn't help. Sorry I have done my best.

[Asker]

I'll sift through it. Thanks.

[HereForTheDay]

Well, I have never found toys in the bedroom anything but fun. But Until I got married, I never had a woman use them when I was there. I also think it is sexy to have a woman play with herself when I am doing things to her or having sex. It feels like she is so turned on that she can't help herself. You might just want to use your hands. He sounds very insecure though.

You sound like you are suffering from performance anxiety. He also doesn't sound very good in bed, judging from his comments.

Try playing with yourself as he plays with you. Most men find that sexy

[Asker]

I like them too, but he thinks that if I need a toy, it means he sucks in bed. He is super insecure because apparently, his last girlfriend said he sucked in bed, and admittedly, when we first got together, he didn't have many moves. We worked on it though, but I noticed right away that if I said I didn't like something he would be butt hurt for like... days.

[HereForTheDay]

what about using your fingers on yourself. I always liked that when a woman did that.

[Asker]

His thing is he wants to do it.

[HereForTheDay]

I don't understand his attitude. I would want a woman I was with to be on the edge of control, beside herself in pleasure. He honestly thinks that his sterile and onesided sexual style will get him somewhere... you, my dear, need a more considerate and more mature lover. It is just my two cents. Some people need to learn the hard way that, in bed, it is just the two of you. But it needs to be the both of you. Sounds like he is really determined to be alone in bed with you viewing. Most women I have known wouldn't be happy with that

[Asker]

Well thank you, I think I am going to have to be a bit blunt with him about it.

[nothingtosee]

Suggestion: Suggest to him that you want him to be your sex slave for the night. Tell him there are some rules he HAS to follow:
1. As a sex slave, he HAS to do anything you want, without question, and without a bit of hesitation.
2. His name, for the night is "slave"
3. He is not allowed to speak unless spoken to
4. While in the house, he's not allowed to wear any clothes
5. If he wants an orgasm, he has to ask for permission, and he can't cum without it.
6. When he asks for permission to cum, he MUST ask nicely and politely.
7. When he asks for permission to cum, if you say no, he's not allowed to moan, groan or complain.
8. When you finally DO allow him to cum, tell him he's not allowed to make a sound. The reason being, his orgasm is for YOUR pleasure, not his.
Now: Order him to pleasure you the way YOU want to be pleasured. Make believe he's a remote control dildo. Tell him (with lots of details) how you want to be licked. How you want his cock to slide in and out of you. Make him pleasure you with a dildo. Make sure you have at least 3 orgasms before you let him cum. When he asks/begs for permission to cum, tell him no several times. At some point ask him, "How bad do you want to cum?" If he says, "ANYTHING", make a naughty demand, like, tell him, if you give him permission to cum, he HAS to eat it afterwards. NO exceptions. Trust me, after a while, he will do ANYTHING for permission to cum, even agreeing to eat it afterwards.
Want more suggestions? Write me at: nothingtosee@yahoo. com

[Jack_S]

Best guess, he is feeling guilty that he gets the best feeling he will ever have, and can't return the favor.

You won't be able to force yourself to cum, but you can calm his guilt by getting him to do other physical things instead.

Say you have sex, you don't finish, then you can make him give you a back massage as 'repayment'

He makes you feel relaxed, his guilt is lessened.

Just a thought anyways, man's ego is so tender. Bruises like a peach

[Klaatu51]

sounds he's very oppressive isn't he? u cannot force yerself to cum!

[HereForTheDay]

can you?

[DaveyBaby107]

Let him know it's normal. Women tend to last longer. That's why I with make mine cum 2-3 times with my mouth or fingers before intercourse, just to make sure she's been taken care of beforehand. Occasionally I do last long enough to get her to cum several times with intercourse. Just gotta work together. Tell him to grow up and quit pouting.

[Asker]

Yeah sometimes he just thinks that if sometimes oral doesn't work, then he can't possibly try something else, it just means he failed. I try to encourage him but he gets super butt hurt over it. How do you think I should tell him to quit pouting without totally hurting his feelings?

[DaveyBaby107]

Just tell him it feels wonderful. What I'll do is play with the clit till she's going crazy then I'll finger her really fast till she's close and I'll end curling my fingers on her g-spot. Sucking on her clit while swirling my tongue works too. Just gotta tell him it's natural to take awhile but it feels exhilarating and he's amazing.

[ZombieHunter]

Were you sexually abused as a kid?

[Asker]

... What? Fuck no, where the hell did you get that?

[ZombieHunter]

Calm down. It's a first question I ask. Sorry for asking.

[Asker]

Little bit personal don't you think?

[ZombieHunter]

No, anonymous. Fucking sorry I tried to help here.

[Asker]

I don't see how asking someone something as traumatic and personal as if they were sexually abused and to share that is helpful. Maybe read the question next time because it definitely had nothing to do with that. Try answering the actual question perhaps next time just in case you offend somebody.

[thebeast777]

tell him to man up and get better at love-making

[Anonymous]

Lol "punches her in the pussy" CUMM BITCH CUMM

[Asker]

LOL oh my god.

[Opinion Owner]

Glad your amuse if dude isn't chill enough, he ain't worth it