Why do girls not get that men will always find many girls hot and look at them?

Question

Women often have this strange idea that once a guy is committed he will not look at other girls or find them hot.  Why is this?Nothing changes just because you are committed and faithful to your girl.  All straight men have been getting a boner from any hot girl they have ever looked at since they were 12 years old and always will.  Hot girls make us horny.  Yes, we picture every girl naked and wonder what it would be like to have sex with them.  Get over it.  If we are not cheating then this is the best you can get.  Your man will never stop loving the sight of a nice ass or pair of t*ts.  We will see hot girls and imagine what it would be like to get head form them.  We do this all the time no matter what.  This is programed into us.We will jerk off to porn and the thought of girls other than you.  This is not cheating.  Stop being surprised when you find out your guy has porn.  Of course he does.  He has likely also jerked off to the thought of your hot sisters or friends.  All guys do this all the time.  Women have to stop being bothered by this.  If we don't cheat then leave us alone and if you don't want to know because you find it gross then don't ask, but trust me, all men do it.  We notice your friend's t*ts and it makes us hard as f*ck.  Get over it.

gabriella44 · Accepted Answer

So if your girlfriend had photos of her ex-boyfriend, co-workers, college friends, etc. hidden around her room to be taken out when she's alone for her own sexual pleasure, this would be perfectly acceptable to you? And if she starts occasionally rejecting your sexual advances and blames work, family, etc., thoughts of those specific men she favors wouldn't enter your brain for a second?

I have to say, though, your post is refreshingly honest, and I think it's fine to find others sexually arousing/beautiful, but your ACTIONS while you are in a committed relationship are going to be different when you are single. Does that ONLY include giving up sexual contact with people other than your partner? You seem to be saying F*** NO. But both sides, men and women, are self-consciously emotional and loving beings that would like the promise of commitment to actually mean something other than - "OK I won't touch [girl who isn't my girlfriend], but I will have every fantasy/picture/image/conversation other than that with/about her." And that's supposed to make your girlfriend feel secure in your relationship? Women constantly have to protect themselves from men who find no trouble having secret sexual relations with others. We look for clues to protect ourselves. Why would you make us be on the defensive JUST so you could expel a bit of fluid from your body? You're the one who is supposed to be protecting us!

Scenario: your girlfriend outright told you that she was settling for you, that she didn't think of you as very sexually arousing, she found your older brother to be hotter than you, and she masturbates only to pictures of your best guy friend AND your dad on Facebook. according to you, these things are acceptable when in a committed relationship. now, are men and women truly that different, or are you being a bit insensitive?

If you knew your actions were making your girlfriend feel under-appreciated/inadequate/less-than, and if you could "survive" without these actions, why wouldn't you give them up? Certain things your girlfriend does annoy you, and if you did them to her, they wouldn't annoy her. Same goes for your actions. Something you do may hurt your girlfriend, but if your girlfriend does it you wouldn't mind. THIS mentality is the cause of much distress and failure in relationships -- sometimes putting yourself in your partner's shoes DOESN'T work -- and EMPATHY -- a main part of a healthy relationship -- is understanding the other person's point of view -- NOT YOUR point of view in THEIR shoes.

Despite your well-intentioned honesty, you are missing this vital truth.

SeraphineBenoit · Accepted Answer

Seems like someone is angry.

Okay, how would you like it if you found lots of porn on your girlfriends computer? How would you like it if while on a date, YOUR girlfriend was checking a passing guy and imagining him naked and on top of her? How would you like it if she kept thinking about your brothers or your friends all the time? Doesn't sound too pleasant right? So you can't blame women for caring. You sound like a disrespectful jerk. How can you expect anyone to want to be in a serious relationship with you when you post questions like this on this site? I don't know whether YOU'RE the only one who does it, or all men do it, but either way, it makes women uncomfortable. Get over THAT.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Dude I'm surprised you get a woman, you may think other girls are hot and they may give you a boner but have some respect for her and don't look at other girls when your with her and most definitely not tell her another girl is hot, I bet she thinks other guys are hot but she doesn't look at them when she's with you or comment on it put the shoe on the other foot!...jerk

WhatIsThisIDont · Accepted Answer

Its just one of those responsibilities of being in a relationship. Everything you commit yourself to has its ups and downs and its gives and takes. You can have this, but you can't have that anymore. That's life.