Sexual Health
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*Read the description before judgement plz* Is it bad I want to be pregnant and have a child?

I am 14 and I've wanted to have a kid for years. Like I feel ready for it. I honestly could just like skip the sex and be pregnant if that were possible, it's not about the sex (which I am a virgin). I kind of feel like I am an adult trapped in a 14 year old body. I feel so strongly about wanting a child, but I know my parents would practically disown me. I have even made a list of pros and cons, and everything I would have to give up for this child, and so has my boyfriend. So how bad is it that I want this and just please give me advice, anybody? Please don't be too harsh. If you have questions, feel free to ask, I will respond.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • You, my darling, have what is called "baby fever". The uncontrollable longing for a child of your own usually brought on by your body producing higher estrogen levels (your body wants a baby). I get it. I went through it, still do in fact. I've wanted kids since before I had my first period because I know that I am meant to be a parent. It is my purpose in life, at least one of them. There is nothing wrong with the way you're feeling but don't do it. Don't think of yourself, think of what kind of life your child would have if you chose to have 1 now. You would be a teenage, disowned parent, with no HS diploma. Where would you live? How would you be able to afford the expenses of a child? What kind of life could you give your child? Would you want YOUR child to have a child at 14? God knows that if love for my child were enough I would have 1 or 3 by now. I get "baby fever" all the time. Hell there are some years that I spend 8/12 months like that. Instead, I'm 23, in my last year of College in a career that will allow me to be a house and have a child in the next 2 or 3 years. I'm not saying teen parents are bad, but without and absolute, rock solid support system, it's like fighting in an uphill sword fight while protecting your tiny baby. I've watched my cousins and friends do it and I wouldn't recommend it. Always think about your child and the life that you can give them before you think about bringing them into the world. If you're really ready you'll put their happiness first. I got pregnant and miscarried at 19. It hurts. Sooooo much. But I realized that I wasn't ready, and God and the Universe knew before I did. I'll be an amazing parent because I understand now the importance of loving my child first. Wait a while and you'll understand when you see the mistake other people make that you'll never ever want to make. I hope this helps. All the best.

  • You want a kid? Okay well have you determined how you'll financially provide for yourself and your child? Are you capable of taking care of yourself independently from your parents? Do you have a boyfriend or a partner? Will he or she be willing to stick by you through the thick and thin of having and raising a child? Have you thought about the possible effects having a child would have on your relationship with your friends and family; and future? Do you think you'll be able to handle all those challenges?

    It isn't bad to desire a child but realistically you'll need to find out if you're capable of raising one and doing well besides him or her. I suggest you read up and watch documentaries about parenthood and pregnancy. Try to understand the physical, mental, and emotional trauma you're going to put yourself through when having a child, then, consider all the information you've learned about parenthood and the stress it puts on mothers. It isn't easy. Before you finalize your decision with your partner, remember there is no undo button, when times get rough and hell-like there is no redo option. You'll need to power through it and find the strength within and hopefully from your partner to get through without losing your sanity. I don't have kids. I don't think my body and emotions and mind is ready to take care of another human being and I'm 20. Maybe you are stronger in all aspects than I am or maybe not. I just urge you to seriously consider what you want to do and look at your life as well. Where do you see yourself in 6 years when you're my age? Or 10 years from now? What do you seriously want to do with your life? What do you want out of life? Do you have any other aspirations besides being a mother?

  • You're still so young -- try to enjoy it. Being a teenager can suck at times, but enjoy your youth and having no major responsibilities. Why are you in such a rush?

    It'd be smarter to have a baby until after you've graduated and been with your boyfriend for a good amount of time, so that you know he's really "the one" and all that. Wait until the two of you are in a good financial position.

    It'd be sort of selfish to purposely try to have a baby right now, because your parents would probably end up having to do a lot of the care-giving.

    • I already have responsibilities an adult would have honestly. I don't know how to respond to these feelings. Until the other day, when my boyfriend mentioned he feels ready to get me pregnant, I had tried to push it away. Now it's like eating me.

  • First of all u are asking not to be harsh, that just shows you are not ready! I had a kid young and am all for you to hold off until you have met the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. Guess what if you dont have a job, can't legally drive, dont have money saved up, that shows u are not ready its tough enough to be a parent , you can even be prepared but guess what no one knows what the future holds, so hold off until u can care for your self not your parents or the government.

    • I do have money saved... for a child... I told you I want this. I said not to be too harsh. I expect people to be rude and think I'm crazy and what not. I have gotten criticized by a lot and supported by some. I am strong enough for it.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Look at it from my point of view. I really really want a Lamborghini. I have felt this way for years, Like, I really feel I am ready for one! I have also thought about it and weighed the pros and cons, but just can't afford one, yet. I need to work and have a good paying job/career before I can get one. Then, once I do, there will be gas to buy, maintenance and other expenses. Cars can be really expensive. Nobody gives gas away for free. So, why do you think you can have a baby without paying for it? You need to do a google search for "how much does it cost to raise a child?". If you think money isn't an issue, or it is solely your boyfriends responsibly, then you are still too young and not mature enough.

  • just wait until you are at least 18. the public would accept it better at that age. and i am mostly like you. i would absolutely love to have a kid now, i just need a girlfriend, her to want it too, both of our parents consent, and enough money so we can feed and take care of the baby. so i don't think it is a good idea to have a kid yet

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Seek professional help.

  • It's normal to feel this way. I've been baby crazy for years now too lol
    Just google the crap out of baby stuff and feel prepared

    • Would it be completely terrible if I allowed myself to get pregnant? I know I have school and so does my boyfriend (he's 16 and a junior) but he has a well paying job and could help provide... a lot really... or should i just not and try to calm how much i want this child

    • Talk to your parents. A good paying job for a 16 year-old is UNLIKELY (but not impossible) to be a good paying job for a FATHER. He needs to be making at least $80,000. Talk to you parents about this. Maybe you could work in a nursery or a daycare center for a while?

    • Yes it is a bad idea to have a kid now. You can't possibly provide what a baby would need if you're in school and having a kid this young is bad for your health, bad for your education, and would make it hard to get a real job. And I'm sure a 16 year old boy is NOT going to want to be a father at that age

  • do you have the money to raise a kid? A shelter? food? daily baby expenses. House bills, child's future education?

  • Stop and think of the future. Can you imagine how ashamed your family will be? what if they kick you out and keep the baby? or make you abort or give it up for adoption? think of how this child will be raised. Will he/she be in a stable home or cared for while you attend school? children cost a lot of money. I'm 24 and KNOW I'm not ready for children. I want them! but I'm smart enough not to have any until I know I can provide for them.

  • I just want to say this is the hormone etrogen flooding your body. Do not become a pregnant teenager. At the end of the day, its your choice but i really really think you should NOT get pregnant.

  • I've told you my opinion, I don't think I have to go into detail again ;)

  • It's not bad , but how are u gonna get those kids? How are u going to pay for their things? They must have a ft her so they become raised right? And they need time which a 14 yr old girl wouldn't have a lot as for studying and stuff

  • You should wait at least until you are fully independent enough to take care of yourself first before having to take care of a child.

  • You need a work first then house

  • I was the same when I was 16.. And now I'm 21 and still feel that way all I know is I want to be able to provide for my child and be able to afford anything it needs that's why I'm still waiting for the right time

  • You are not ready. Please... Don't kid yourself. Do you or the potential father of the child have the financial resources to bring up a kid?
    Do you have the emotional capacity to give up literally everything that comes with adulthood and go right to raising a kid? Do you want to skip going to college, meeting new and exciting people, discovering the world for yourself, graduating from school, finding a job you are passionate about, finding love, settling down and getting married? All those steps will make you a more complete person who is ready to raise independent and strong children. If you skip them not only will you regret your decisions later but also your kids will have to suffer because of your shortcomings.

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