Sexual Health
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What do you guys think of a one night stand with a married woman?

I am married, but our marriage is completely lacking in affection or any sex. I am only 30 and still a very sexual person who is considering a one-night stand. Can you guys tell me if the idea of a purely physical hook-up with someone who is married turns you off?
Updates:
+1 y
Thanks for your advice, positive or negative, has given me different viewpoints to consider. I am not considering this lightly, our situation is difficult. My husband is not a bad person, but very emotional detached for years and I feel v. unattractive.
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OK, not sure if anyone is interested :), but I had a dream last night about this issue, and I realized that what I am yearning for isn't necessarily sex, but love and affection (I know it is stating the obvious but it has helped clear things in my head)
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So having said the above, I thought I'd share with everyone that there is really no way I would indulge in an affair, I am not really that kind of person anyway, a was having a very weak moment. Thanks for all your advice though.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Happens all the time, and most times with no consequences, for either party. The down side is what those below have suggested. I have had several one night stands with married women, and the end result was that they stayed with their husbands.

    Men typically don't want to tell a woman to have an affarir because it reminds them that the unfaithful wife,could be theirs someday and it is a little bit daunting.

    I have been on both sides of the affair business, as a single guy and as a married man. I caught my lady friend, literally naked with another man...boom, that ended quickly.

    It is easy to say "Don't do it " from a morality standpoint, but more often it is "Don't do as I do, do as I say".

    ultimately, you make your own decisions about your life...and then live with them. I have done it as a Single man / married woman but not as a Married man / Married woman.

    My wife was screwing another guy for several months before she finally left me for him...

    That marriage lasted several years, and she is divorced again.

  • If I was the guy, I probably wouldn't want to be with you... I'd want a little more emotional attachment than a one night stand. Yes, the sex can certainly be appealing, if it is offered with "no strings", but still, deep down inside, it wouldn't be what I want...

    You're young, as you yourself noted... lacking affection or sex in a marriage is a big problem. I think you should talk to him, talk to a marriage counselor, whatever you need to do... perhaps you aren't as right for each other as you thought.

    Don't go to a one night stand for affection... it isn't there.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I'm no prude, but hooking up with someone else isn't going to re-build the intimacy of your marriage. If you *love* your partner and want it to work, you will need to get your groove on, or get it BACK, whichever is the case. Might have to be through couples therapy, etc.

    However, if you never had affection or passion (leading to intimacy) and you were hoping it would somehow grow when you were married, it most likely will not all of a sudden be part of his character...and it won't be "OK" with you to deal with after a few screws with Affair dude.

    I'm not advocating divorce, but if there is limited physical compatibility now, where will it be in 15 years? Are you going to just cheat on him forever? Doesn't sound like a great long term plan...sorry to say.

    Hope you find your way. Take care.

  • I was in a similar situation. My husband did not want sex at all. I did have a one night stand with a guy that had a girlfriend. I would do again to. We are still friends though so there is an emotional attachment of sorts for us. It would have been better if that was not there for my marriage's sake. That is what is really causing me problems now I really want to be with the other guy but we both know that can't be the case. So I would defiantly say go with a one night stand that you have no emotional attachment to, maybe even someone you will never meet again. And anyone who tells you how wrong you are for doing this has obviously never been denied sex or affection for any real length of time. I am sure most men would not really care if you were married if it was purely physical.

    • Hmmmm....this whole scenario gives me pause. I have resisted on more than one occasion, the opportunity to go further with a married woman. It wasn't for lack of want, but out of respect for the commitment she's made. The right solution in this case, is the most difficult one: facing the issue head on and seeking counseling.... and that's really, really hard.

    • You had the one night stand with a guy you have an emotional attachment to, so I am wondering if it would be as good a turn out for her if it was some random person with no attachment? Do you think that maybe it wouldn't be such a good turn out if it was purely physical...because, I think women are more emotional in the first place. Just wondering how wise it will be -- if she will regret it. For you, you care about the person you slept with.

    • I like your answer, from a "practical" point of view. I have done the same, with married women on several occassions, and as you said, I would do it over the same way, with only a few exceptions, ie. that being the ungentlemanly way I treated one of the women. (Which I deeply regret to this day. When I was married, my wife had sex with several other men, and I don't blame her a bit because I did not want sex with her at the time, and she was feeling cheated, and unattractive.

  • I feel bad for your husband. If your marriage is lacking sex either go talk to him about or go out and buy a dildo but don't go out and have a one night stand (in case you forgot that's cheating). When you got married you gave up every one night stand and every other kind of romantic or physical/intimate relationships with everyone except for your husband and if that's not something you can deal with then go get a divorce because he doesn't deserve you and being married isn't what you want. Oh and no, I wouldn't have sex with a married man and I wouldn't even consider doing so. I would consider telling his wife to get a divorce though.

  • You deserve to be happy and satisfied in your relationship...physically, emotionally and mentally. If you are not getting fulfilled, try to talk to your husband and get counseling together...it may be a long road of temptation and misery otherwise.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 9

  • Talk to your husband about your desires. Let him know what your looking for and then make an effort to show him you want to pursue it.

    Here's the catch to what your wanting to do with a one night stand.

    1) If your husband finds out, your basically f***ed. Trust goes out the window and so does your relationship. Don't throw a marriage away for sex.

    2) If you do hook up with someone and become pregnant. Where is the security in a one night stand? They could turn around and never speak to you again- and you don't even have the fathers name for your future child.

    3) Your risking your health, there are so many STDs and HIVs out there that you should be happy you don't have those.

    etc

    Why risk what you have and who you are- for a mere physical affection? Yeah! Sex is awesome, but it's not worth it. Reconsider what your thinking and throw it out the window- then never look back. You don't need sex to be happy.

    To each their own,

    ~ ArtistBBoy

  • I would say no for this. Why don't you ask your husband. Isn't he sexy enough? If not than why did you get married to him?

    Better ask him to give the pleasure you are looking out. By your one night stand you may lose your dignity and break your husbands trust. And what if the new guy in your life asks for sex now and than and starts blackmailing you.

    Give a try with you husband I hope he can still satisfy you in bed.

    All the best. ;)

  • That's a good move & one that you will never regret!

  • It's a highly immoral thing to have anything to do with a married woman. You just gotta give the relationship the time and space it needs. There's isn't really any room for negotiation because that's kind of the whole point of marriage -- faithfulness.

  • troll

  • Last update:

    Let twenty years pass before you tell him.

  • When I was single I did it.

  • I'm sure a lot of my male friends would love the idea.

  • Does committing adultery ever cross your mind... or the consequences?

  • No respect for you husband, huh? Obviously not if you are even pondering this. Talk to him and if nothing changes, get a divorce or something. To answer the question, no I wouldn't touch a married woman with a 10 foot pole.

    • Has he been stressed out? Depressed? Anything that would lower his sex drive? Please just talk to him about it. There might be some problem going on that you may not know about that is affecting him.

  • Yes I did it with a lady, same situation. It was her idea & she told me it would be only sex.

    It was great sex BUT I wanted more & she ended it.

    I still wonder if she was honest because if there was more missing at home (besides security) why didn't she think about it?

    • Im having the same situation with a my cowerker she's married but we both want to have a one night stand. It hasn't happen but i see it coming pretty soon. I just hope it will only be sex like you and the lady and i dont get that feeling to want more and have her end things with me. Especially our friendship lol

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