Do guys EVER feel used by a girl?

[Anonymous]

I have often heard, "he was just using me" by girls. Also, I often hear girls tell each other that a guy was just using them. It is not a good feeling to used! My question is whether you guys out there have ever felt used by a girl? I mean more in a sexual sense...not so much if you were buying her stuff. Is it even possible for a guy to feel used for sex or do guys just love it too much to feel used? The scenario is that this guy & I had crushes on each other but we were both in other relationships. We ended up having a 3 month fling. We never had sex but got to third base (is that the right term?) but ended it the same day that happened because we were both feeling so guilty. I am suddenly worrying that he might feel like I used him -- just wanted to feel his d*** and then end it as I was the one that kind of ended it. That wasn't my intention but now I am worried since we are still friends. So, help me out guys. Could he feel used or is that just impossible (seems like it would be impossible from everything I read on here!)

[Titan076]

It happened to me. Girl I dated for awhile, our relationship ended due to religion getting in the way. Fast forward 5 years later we were both in marriages that had us feeling miserable. She contacted me first and started flirting and of course I was vulnerable so I flirted back. She even said she was getting divorced so I opened up and started trusting her. Things got hot and heavy and then I find out she's sleeping around having unprotected sex with guys she meets at clubs and also telling me she can't leave her baby girl and needs to stay with her husband. In other words "I tried you out and changed my mind". I felt completely mislead and it ended up with me being labeled an angry stalker. Angry? Yes (finding out you need to get tested for STDs is not a fun experience). Stalker? I just asked for an explanation of what happened. Felt I was at least owed some truth... So to answer your question about guys feeling used. It all depends on what you tell him. If you felt guilty messing around - tell him. Be honest and come clean from the beginning. Anything else you say will just lead to more confusion. And for all you younger guys that think sex is a validation for how great you are - most of you will eventually get tired of it and just want someone you can mutually love and trust.

[Bvroon]

Yes, I felt pretty used with my ex-wife, she went and convinced me to move completely away from my family, cheated on me, told me she was cheating on me and wasn't going to stop, got pregnant by another guy, and then left me for him with both the kids, and only then decided about a year later that the baby daddy decided he would be a man, and then took both the boys away from me, now she is my ex (gratefully) and is collecting my child support so she can smoke. So all in all I would say yes I felt pretty used.

[avksx]

Most dudes would be stoked that a girl wants to get into their pants, but I could definitely imagine a guy being disappointed if he thought there was a larger, more romantic aspect to the relationship when there wasn't.

[Asker]

Okay, thanks.

[setcheck67]

omg yes I used to have girls use me for cigarettes, drugs, money, and get this revenge. Hell if something exists a girl can use a guy to get it. I remember this pregnant girl(already pregnant) feeling so p*ssed that the guy who knocked her up didn't want sex that she started hitting on me for it. Yes this pregnant girl used me for 3 months to have sex while her not so loving boyfriend didn't even have a clue. On the third month she got rid of me like I was a bad cold...

[Asker]

But did you really care for her? Did you feel used or was it just "fun" for you to have her?

[setcheck67]

Maybe I'm weird, but I tend to have feelings when I physically "connect" with a girl. It's hard to not have any feelings for her when I have a part of me inside her.

[Asker]

That's actually nice. Wish more guys were like you!

[l-hedoniste]

I've felt used, but I enjoyed it.

Remember: for some (many?) guys, a brief and purely sexual relationship is absolutely, 100% okay. We'll indulge them without hesitation, without question, and without regret.

[cjwright79]

Well most guys in 2010 are still uncomfortable with this sort of thing, It's changing though. For me, it would be the highest honor to be used by a woman. I don't need proclamations of undying love, I just like to feel like I'm valuable in a sensual way.

[SkinnerOne]

Oh HELL yes!

Ever see a guy that was tricked into getting a girl pregnant? I have known several that let a girl trick them into Ooops...

I myself have been used by several women over the years. Took me a long time to realize that I could be led around by my pecker... and yes gentlemen, you ARE led around by your forward pointing handle whether you want to believe it or not. And if you don't think you ever have been well then, you just haven't met the one that will!

[setcheck67]

Lol tricked to get a girl pregnant? I remember my father telling me how he caught some girl poking holes in a condom(this is not how I was born! lol). I sometimes wonder about that if women have the urge to have children so much they would fool a guy to do it.

[Asker]

Yeah, you're right on that one. Hadn't thought of that. But, assuming there is no pregnancy, and assuming the girl isn't trying to use a guy, could the guy still walk away feeling like he was used? Like in my scenerio, I am worried he thinks I got what I wanted and then ended it. I am worried I hurt him.

[armyant]

Men aren't allowed to feel this. If a man said he felt used he would just get laughed at.

[Asker]

But DO they feel that ever? Even if they won't admit it...is it possible for a guy to feel that way?

[WildVyse]

Men can feel emotionally abused too

[armyant]

The only reason a woman would ask if it's possible for a man to be emotionally hurt in some way is so she can hurt a man.

[SkinnerOne]

Well then brother start laughing at me cause I av e been used by many MANY women!

[armyant]

That's basically an example of the belittling manner I was referring to.

[Asker]

"Answerer", are us saying I asked this qst to I CAN emotionally abuse this guy? I hope not as that is not the reason for my qst. We are good friends & I care about him. I am so worried he just felt I got what I wanted & then ended it as it was rather sudden. But, that wasn't the case. I wanted to go further w/him, believe me. But, we are in other relationships so I couldn't go there.

[Littletad]

It's very rare that a guy can feel used. For the most part, most guys would not care if they were being used or not. The idea of being used for sex does not harm a guy like it would a girl.

However, if the guy was a genuinely nice guy, then yes, he too can become hurt and troubled over a particular situation.

[HornyPerv]

I think its more of a care issue.

[mmar58]

Yes they use for help and get their works done

[eengineercarguy]

Yes, men can feel use just like a woman. I was in a relationsip with a woman and I really thought she was the one you know. We had our ups and downs but when we were together it was magical. As it turned out as soon as we would part she would go to another man. she got pregnant three times by this man before I finally got it through my head that she was just using me. (two lost pregnancies). When I finally had enough she had the nerve to tell me it was my fault. After all the lies about how she loved me and how I honestly felt for her I would never have imagined she was like that. The pain she caused me and the damage I must now live with are incredible.

[sula159]

Yeah I am the WOMAN he is talking about and he lied to me and told me that he was GETTING A DIVORCE from his wife and that he did not love her anymore and lied and lied and slept with me and used me for his kicks for over two years and I had finally had enough...the times that I tried to go the other way in life was the times HE told me it was done and over with and that he was TOO SCARED of his wife to leave her and he pussied out and would hang around and stay with her!!!!! he used me! yeah !

[kabuto202]

Depends on the guy's feeling for her. Unless she's really special, too most guys a no-strings-attached relationship is a dream come true. So, the anwser is, no. Or atleast, I've never met one.

[Asker]

That makes sense. Thanks.