Sexual Health
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Why Do I Feel Bad About Being a Virgin?

I'm 23. Am told on a daily basis that I am very beautiful, pretty, and kind and got hit on all the time. I'm so depressed in my life because of my lack of sex with another person. It makes me feel like I'm a loser, like there's something deeply wrong with me. I used to think it was something special, but now, it's causing me so much sadness and loneliness, I don't care about it anymore. It's sad, but true. There's a guy at work who always makes very very crude sexual comments/jokes towards me, and I'm so tempted to let him take my virginity... he knows about my virginity, and is pretty much a player type of guy. But instead of reporting him for sexual harrassment, I long for his disgusting comments daily. Is there something wrong with me? Should I let him or another guy who wants me for sex only, take my virginity from me? Is it worth waiting? Is it strange that I've never done anything before. Please help. I'm falling into a downward spiral!
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Virginity is seriously the dumbest thing ever and it's a made up concept that does nothing but freak people the fuck out. You have find the right person to have sex with that's it. DON'T have sex with that ass. I think you'll truly regret that because sex can be a truly magical thing if done with the right person. With the wrong person you usually feel used and gross. If you get told a lot you're attractive then I think you should take everyones word for it. Maybe they just think you're out of their league or think you're already in a relationship. Introduce yourself to guy you find attractive and seem like they're nice. Let them know you're interested in talking and won't bite their head off if they try to ask you out.

  • The reason you feel like this is because you think sex is a validation of your beauty / desirability. It could also be a form of loneliness. I can near guarantee you that the moment you're having sex, you'll think "This is what all the fuss is about?" - I know I did. Sex is nothing. It's just physical pleasure. If you're lucky, it can be a moment of emotional connection with someone you care about. I don't recommend just having sex to "get it over with". I'm not in a position to tell you what to do but you should just take it easy on yourself. You will have sex someday but sex doesn't define you.

    • Agreed. I lost mine in college and people made it seem like sex is everything and don't get me wrong, I enjoy it but it's not like it's a status symbol of rich vs poor as in who's getting some and who isn't

    • I also notice some people, mainly guys, tend to identify themselves and others by their sex lives which is nonsense.

    • @bloodmountain1990, Too true. Thanks for your input.

Most Helpful Girls

  • 23 is still young. There's plenty of time to lose your virginity with someone you love rather than just any old guy with a hard cock. He's out there. The hard reality though is that you're going to need to work to find him. He won't just magically appear at your door. Get out there look for him. Date men. You'll have lots of first dates, fewer second dates, even fewer third dates, etc. until you hit it off with the right guy. It's hard work, but the reward is great. Please don't have sex on he first date (or second date or third date) either. Spend a little time getting to know each other first. And you know the drill with safe sex and birth control. Don't drop the ball on that.

  • I would die to be a virgin again haha... a guy will appreciate you more in the future. I think your sex drive is just liking the comments... The dude just wants you and if your tempted and give in then your easy... Share it with someone who will remember the day they took it. I wish I could. Also, Virgins are so rare now a days LOL... Some chick auctioned hers off for millions LMAO...

    • Didn't mean "Your easy" but if you just give it to any bloke for a comment. Like seriously make it someone who cares about you enough not to hurt you... only for their satisfaction. Plus get whoever tested. This player type guy might have been around to be so confident in dirty talk at work

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 11

  • Hmm...

    You might go looking for a guy you'd like to have sex with. Bonus points if he's sweet and will check on how you're feeling after the fact (one easy bet is a guy who calls himself a feminist, but there are plenty others).

    Just because this guy at work wants sex with you, doesn't mean he's necessarily a good choice. If you're going to have casual sex, make sure it's with someone you WANT.

  • It's always worth waiting if that's what you feel.. don't feel like a looser though.. why rush something that should be special.. everyone has there only beliefs and reasons for keeping there virginity.. let yours be for you

  • There is no reason you should feel bad about being a virgin. I suspect that you're feeling more sexual now, which is normal now that you're fully grown, and this is your body's way of getting you pregnant.

    Please dont go with a player, it'll just mess p your life. You should consider looking for a quality boyfriend.

  • As a counter culture staying a virgin is pretty normal.

  • Honestly I think u should just have sex with one of them... sex doesn't have to mean anything more than physical enjoyment sometimes. Once you start having sex you'll realize it's not as big a deal as you thought.

  • It's up to you when you want to but I wouldn't view sex as something to feel validated and worthy. The people who do it from that perspective end up being the most jaded, trust me.

  • if u r ok with his remarks and want it, it can't be a harassment, can it?
    if u r desperate for sex, i guess u shud have it. Yours is a result of ignoring your cravings and bottling your sexual urges for too long. You need a release.
    But i suggest u go for a one night stand or a guy u dont know to hv some wild passionate sex, and thats it. If this office guys gets into your pants he will demand for more and that maybe something you won't like or something which will compromise u

  • Patriarchy!

  • It is awesome when a beautiful adult girl is still virgin. I also feel often like that, being a loser for not having sex etc. But funny thing is, that I am not virgin. I had girlfriend for 2 years and now I am 6 months alone and the feelings returned. So losing virginity did not work. What works is compliments from others, maybe that is why you like when that guy speaks sexually about you. It might somehow flatter you...

  • I'm 22 and still virgin and prout of that ^_^ I'll stay like that till marriage <3
    Believe me u are totally normal and u are really special for being virigin in that age.. Keep ur virginity to the right guy and don't care about what others say.. they say that coz they know that u are special and have a gift ( ur virginity ) and wanna take this gift.. U would regret if u waste this gift.. I hope that would help u :)

  • Because you know that attractive men will pass over you for women who put out.

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