Suddenly my boyfriend doesn't want to wear a condom anymore during sex. what should I do?

his reason is he wants to have to work less to cum. my reason for me wanting him to wear it is I've never orgasimed before except with him. BECAUSE it takes him so long to cum im able to reach climax. usually in sex im left unsatified laying awake while the guy falls asleep compleatly satisfied. and my other reason is im not sure if we are both STD free. i know he has had many partners before. and if he is willing to have unprotected sex with me without checking my health he has probably done it before. there has only been one time i had sex without a condom and that was a date rape situation. i was unconcious so maaybe he wore one but i doubt it. i woke up with buises all over and my vagina was torn on the inside so i doubt he cared to wear a condom. and my third reason is im not on birth control. so i dont want unprotected sex. my ovulation days are always chamging i can't predict or pinpoint them. i live abroad and im poor so medical treatment is hard for me to get. and i can't find free clinics who accept my holiday visa. they always ask me to have an E working visa or they won't help me. he tried to have sex with me twice this morning without wearing a condom. we had condoms right next to the bed but he wouldn't wear it. then he said okay then no sex. as if id then give in. then when we were getting ready for the day he tried really hard to seduce me and slip his dick in when i was distracted but i pushed his hips away and it made him feel a little hurt i think. he gave me the biggest puppy eyes. anyway please give me advice on what to do.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • No glove, no love. You should not allow him to not use a condom. You said you you're poor at the moment. Are you ready for a baby? Or what about HIV? Do you want some minutes of pleasure and then have to wait three months after your last encounter to see if you have it. That right there is pure hell. What I'd do is purchase female condoms. Put it on up to 8 hours before and see if that's a better fit for you and him. Hope that helps =)

    • thats true i could always start doing that.

  • Tell him to condom it up or you're not putting it out. Your health and well being come first, not his pleasure. If he can't wrap his head around it then it's time to keep it stepping. Life's too short to waste on hedonistic men.

    Also, if he's too busy worrying about 'working too much' during sex, then he doesn't give a good god damn about your pleasure. Not exactly a catch.

    • yeah i know what you mean. but we have been together for a while and i dont want this to be why we break up

    • Lemme reiterate, life's too short to waste on hedonistic men. My boyfriend and I have been together for over half a decade. We still wear condoms. If he wanted to stop, then we'd have problems.

  • Hell no. Yes condoms can be a little uncomfortable but you know what's more uncomfortable? Being pregnant. Having a STD. Tell him what you feel. And if he doesn't feel the same find someone new. Just because he can make you orgasm doesn't mean you should ruin the rest of your life for him. I wish you luck. c:

    • yeah i was talking to him about that and i was saying you dont need to worry about getting pregnant because your a guy. and he said yes i do because you are my girlfriend i have to take care of you. i responded... then why dont you want to be safe? he just sat back after that and stopped talking

  • You should be as hard-headed as he is. If he won't have sex with you using a condom, you won"t with him. Be careful, this advice might mess up the relationship, but it is worth a chance. When this happened to not work, be as honest with him as you were when writing what you wrote.

    • in the morning we were talking while in bed and he said he wanted to try not wearing a condom. i told him no its not a good idea im nit on birth control. he was like oh okay.. convo went on with different subject. later on we started kissing and stuffeah our conversation litterally went like *about to put it in* "wait" "whats wrong?'' ''condom first'' ''i dont want to'' ''you have to'' *he gave dissapointed expression* *i gave a stern dont fuck with me expression* *he got off* and said ''okay then no sex'' ''okay'' and then we just cuddled until we had to wake up

    • but im also thinking maybe ill ask him to take us to get tested together

  • There are kinds made that are supposed to feel as if there isn't even one there. Maybe try looking for that brand?

    • thanks ill try to do some reasearch on it.

Most Helpful Guys

  • " if he is willing to have unprotected sex with me without checking my health he has probably done it before" most stupid sentence I ever heard.

    Get him tested and for birth control get the pill. If he is not looking to satisfy you aswell consider a break up if you like I don't know how your relations towards him are

  • Check yourselves for STD's. Take birth-control pills. Enjoy free sex.

    I'm a no-plastic-on-sex fun. Once you have tasted the free, skin-to-skin penetration you will become addicted to. At least many men do.

    I would leave you, if you continued to resist.

    • did you not read what i said. id leave you because you dont listen well

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 9
  • You tell him you want him to wear it because it's safe and there's less risk of pregnancy and disease for you BOTH. He's being selfish.

    • i also feel he is being selfish

  • Say it with me: "No glove, no love."
    Now make him say it.
    Any questions?

    • haha no questions.

    • good.

  • He sounds like a looser. No condom equals no sex. You don't want to be a mommy. You deserve a great orgasm for everyone he has.

  • Talk to him, let him see your fears. He should be able to understand

  • Don't do it, if he cares about your opinion he will wear it. Safety first!

    • he will wear it sometimes whithout arguing but then also sometimes ehe will try to not wear it. and i always have to stop him before

  • Stand up for yourself. Healthy is most important. prevent getting pregnant

  • Do not have sex with him until he uses a condom again.

    • just keep refusing him? okay ill stay stubborn about it

  • You tell you will do it with a condom and not otherwise unless tested.

    • ill try to suggest we get tested together. and help me get on birth control. because im not fluent in the language here i know im about 5grade level so espesially medical terms i dont know well. so i kinda need him to hold my hand in this situation.

  • Get another boyfriend. THe one you have is an idiot

    • yeah im in a swaying tide right now. part of me is saying say no until i get my way. but another part of me says. we are in a relashionship we should find comon ground. so maybe ill ask him to take us to get tested and help me get on birth control

  • Ask him why he wants to have kids so bad.

    • he would probably have mental breakdown if i said that to him haha. because a few of our friends already have kids and we both agree that lifestyle isn't for us. but i think that when he is horney he isn't thinking about that. he just wants to cum

  • Take the pill

  • Have a conversation

    • but how do i bring it up to him in the best way? i dont want to tell him im afraid ill be sexually un satisfied. or that i was raped so i might be a carrier. and i dont want to say i dont trust you or your past girlfriends.. like what do i say?

  • Have you considered marriage. It sounds like you have a conscience and legitimate concerns. If he's not interested in marrying you then sex to him is only the feeling that he gets in his penis and sadly he and will can do that with anyone. To continue having sex even without a condom will lead to great sex or intimacy but with spend it up and leave you with hurt and regret which medicine can cure

    • we have talked about marriage and kids. but no real date has been set. its more of we both have had time accidentally mentioning like after we get married i want a house or say car like this. there was a time we were at an amusmant park an we saw a kid misbehave snd he said i dont want our kid raised like that