Sex with my ex, is it just sex or does it mean something?

Anonymous
Long story cut short, but me and my ex split up about 6 weeks ago only to find out we were expecting a little while later. WE had had unprotected sex since we split, only a couple of times when he had come round to chat and he never questioned birth control. He was so affectionate, more than when we were together and to me it felt special. Not the mundane exercise we had been partaking in just to get pregnant (we'd been trying a while). I explained to him the other week when he came over that I couldn't understand why he was still wanted to sleep with me, and that was just just sex, or was it because he still had feelings. Without asking him outright. He would go quiet and not say a word, just continue to kiss me. He did have a guilty look about him and I don't know if that was just because he knows I still love him and want to try again. He has kind of stayed in touch, he still has stuff here until last night. Again, when he came over, we did the chit-chat stuff, how are you, how are things going etc. It was awkward, don't get me wrong, but he gave me a hug and went to kiss me and I pulled away. I told him it wasn't a good idea. Our relationship has always been an active physical one and we both know that the sex is fun, yes we would even have a giggle during the "act". We were that comfortable together. We did end up having sex, I couldn't help it and it did feel nice that he wanted me, as much as I wanted him, even if it was in a different way. Time will tell I guess.

I haven't taken any form of birth control and can't face taking the morning after pill, I told him this last night, BEFORE we slept together last night. He didn't say a word. My reasoning is that if it was meant to be it will happen, if not, then it's won't.

I know that even if we did have a child together he wouldn't be an arse. I am 100% on that. I have not done this to trap him, and I am not a silly little girl, I know it would be hard, but it was and still is something I have and we had wanted so much.

We split due to things getting too much too soon, he is in the navy and so away a lot, when he had leave we'd be together 24/7, but with other things going on, family problems both sides (his family live a long way away from me) financial difficulties as well as my trust issues (results from past relationships).

He knows I have been seeing a counselor for the last 7 weeks about my problems as they do my head in, so I can't imagine how it made him feel. I know it's a problem, and I am dealing with it, not just for him but it needs sorting.

I am doing a lot of keep fit which has improved my self worth as well as changing my body to our pre-relationship shape, if not 10X better. I am seeing my friends a lot more and have changed my job.

I just don't understand why he would be like this if it's just sex for him. Would he really risk me getting pregnant again for a quickie? Does he really still care or not? He says he wants to be friends and see...
Sex with my ex, is it just sex or does it mean something?
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