Should I have sex and get it over with?

[Anonymous]

I'm 16 and a virgin and I've never even been kissed.Well,the thing is,guys nowadays don't want to go out or date a virgin,let alone have a relationship with one.Virginity is like a repellent or a disease,it pushes guys away ya know.I'm not an over emotional girl,I can block out my feelings and emotions and I don't become clingy cause I don't like clingy people myself.So I'm thinking maybe I should just have sex to get it over with.Preferably with a guy I barely know that way it won't be awkward or maybe I'd never see him again.I would use birth control and condoms,so STDs and pregnancy are prevented.So should I just have sex and get it over with? And I'm sure not being a virgin when I go to college will make dating easier Wouldn't it be easier to have sex and get it over with?I mean,it's not like having sex with someone I "love" will make it any better and sex isn't special to guys,so what would be the point of waiting?...Nothing

[shrike092]

You have obviously been hurt multiple times...This honestly saddens me, I feelin ya pain at the moment. Let me tell ya this girl, don't you dare give that special attribute up. Don't you dare, I promise you won't regret it. You stay true to you, don't let these guys b bullsh*tting ya. You'll find you a man that treats you right and respects you. I am a guy and I would a million times over prefer a virgin, these guys that don't prefer one, they just want sex. So losing it would do you absolutely no good, you may get more dates but they won't be nothing but about sex. Gain yourself respect, you straight girl. You stay strong. Don't follow the world, look what position its in now with all of its problems and bullsh*t, Make your own world girl. You in this position for a reason, everyone gets to this point at some time, most make the wrong decision. Just remember this, You stay true to yourself! that man is out there waiting on you and you still young so don't make a decision you will have to live the rest of your life with. Give it a couple of years, I guarantee you will find that dream man that really is in it for the love. Kissing isn't bad though, that is something that you need to experience, just don't turn into a kissing ho...lol jk. Kisses are still something really cool though to find that a girl still has, makes things more interesting.

[Asker]

1)I've never been hurt 2)Virginity isn't all that special 3)I don't see the correlation between sex and love.They are two different things in my opinion

[shrike092]

1. If you were never hurt then you wouldn't have asked this question and have been feeling doubts. You asked and we gave honest answers, they won't always be what you want 2. Virginity is very special to some guys, for me example. I wouldn't mess with a non virgin. I want to love something that no1 else has had. 3. You can't have love without sex in a sense but you can have sex without love...They are different but you seem to love more and the love is more special when its both of yours first.

[Asker]

1)I've never been hurt,I'm just saying,virgins are ignored by guys. 2)I don't know any guys who think virginity is special. 3)I still see no correlation

[shrike092]

1. Well, you can't tell me that I'm the only person in the world that thinks the world of virgins 2. Because you in with the wrong crowd, you in with all the "playas" or "sex crazed teens" I think virginity is special and do most of my guy friends 3. what can you not see here?? be more specific/put it in other words

[Asker]

1)Ok,well that's you 2)I don't hang with one particular group of people 3)Sex and love are two different things.No one should need love to have sex or need sex to feel loved.

[shrike092]

1. Me and millions of others 2. Then either a)you ain't looking hard enough or B) you still not getting with the "right" crowd. 3. Well, you are right on this, both are true....but, love is just much more special when that person is a virgin. Do what you please, but I'm just saying, you will be happy you waited if you do.

[sam_cooldude]

i just went through all your replies and comments for this question and it just seems that you yourself don't know what you want...

not to hurt you and don't take it the other way...but it seems that you are defending both sides...hmmm...now that's not running into any conclusion is it...

well I think its best that you yourself decide about this question as it you whose virginity is going to be lost...

personally I don't feel that virginity will come up in the dating game and definately virginity is not a thing that you are trading off to get access to the dating world...

oh please virginity only matters if you are planning to hook up with a guy and NOT DATING...they are simple 2 different topics...

and if all you want is simply sex then why hide it behind glorious words of sacrificing virginity...there are many guys out there to enter if a girl is ready to spread her legs...

[Asker]

How am I defending both sides?And what are both sides anyways?

[Simple-Simonette]

What do you want from sex? The way I'm reading it, you're seeing it like a toll road - a price you have to pay to get a relationship. What kind of connection is that?

The only difference between a virgin and a non virgin is the fact that one had sex and the other didn't. Sex doesn't affect your personality or your outlook in life. Having sex doesn't make a woman more desirable to a man - for some guys it just makes them more available. I disagree that the majority of men don't want to have a relationship with a virgin, because you not ONLY a virgin - there is more to you than just your sexual history. Most men don't want to have a relationship with a woman who doesn't interest them - sex or no sex. Sure, there are guys out there who will put up with a woman because she puts out - but that isn't a relationship.

Don't kid yourself and think that having sex will open up doors to with men that you've only dreamed of, because it won't. You'll still be you. If you don't want to wait - that's your prerogative, just don't change your mind for the wrong reasons. And doing it for a guy (whether for attention or a relationship) is the wrong reason.

There is no point in waiting if you don't want to wait anymore, but I think you should base that on your own desires not on how some nonexistent guy might feel about you.

Good luck.

[Chessy-27]

It's totally your choice. I understand you wanting to hear the different opinions/views, but don't base it off majority or anything. You gotta choose in the end unfortunately.

But I think guys find virgins as a challenge, like something they want to conquer (which sounds weird but still).

Saying that would make me a hypocrite though. I'm sixteen and I decided to just lose my virginity because it was getting on my nerves and I felt that it got in the way. I didn't fall to peer pressure, I just took it into perspective, if everyone else is doin it then what's the big deal in me not having fun too?

So I lost mine to a guy I knew for 3 months, we're pretty good friends. He broke up with his girlfriend and was definitely missing the sex...so I was basically his temp or fill-in. We had sex three times, and now he's back with his ex. I feel pretty indifferent to it all. I'm not emotionally scarred or anything. But the word spread fast that I wasn't a virgin and now I feel like I move way to fast with all other guys.

Good luck. I hope whatever you chose works out for you. =)

[peace-love-couture]

Sex is healthy and it is natural.Some people have sex for just pleasure,others to express their emotions.It isn't up to me whether you have sex or not,it's up to you.Yes,I agree,guys don't like virgins,I am a 16 year old who goes to HS and associates with guys on a day to day basis,they all stay the hell away from virgins because virgins are considered "boring"

Have sex if you want,I'm not gonna be like the rest of the people on here who are going to give you a speech or lecture

[Jarett]

HAHAHA. Guys don't stay away from virgins. Guys who are only looking for sex stay away from virgins. Just because you don't put out doesn't mean you're boring. It means you have self respect.

[peace-love-couture]

Actually,they do.I happen to be a teen around other teens and they avoid virgins.I don't understand how being a virgin means you have more respect for yourself than not being a virgin

[Asker]

Evangelina214,are you a virgin?Not be be invasive or disrespectul?

[peace-love-couture]

Yes,I am a virgin

[shrike092]

Jarett, you said it right bro. Don't ask mens opinion of you don't want the truth, ask girls and get an IDC answer like the one above from Evangelina214....who sounds almost a bit like a ho to me

[peace-love-couture]

First off,I'm a virgin,I've never had a boyfriend or been kissed,secondly,grow up,only immature insecure people degrade others by calling them "hoes" or "sluts"

[shrike092]

Didn't say you were a ho, just said you sound almost like 1, sorry if I offended you. Most guys don't like them, but that ain't the kind you wanna be with, most I know that is that way I hate being around.

[katiesmuff]

Great answer Jarett. Not sure what kind of crowd Evangelina is hanging around, but it is not the norm. I work in a club that we close to adults and open just for the high school kids one evening each week and I see hundreds of them. Your virginity is not something the boys worry about. They don't ask a girl if she is a virgin before asking her for a dance or to just sit have a burger and chat.

[peace-love-couture]

I think it's funny that a bunch of people who aren't even teenagers comment.I hang out with all people,there aren't cliques at my school,I hang out with the IB kids,the AP kids,the jocks,the anime kids,the potheads,the academically successful,band kids,cheerleaders etc.I understand how guys are

[xxangel1990xx]

Don't just give it up like it's nothing. You'll regret it and regrets are sh*t. You're only 16, I know people who are still virgins and they're in their twenties and they're hot! The men that date them think they're special for having waited so long and they're respected for that. Sex isn't something to just get over and done with. Espesh the first time, it should be special with someone you love and someone who'll treat you right. You will only attract the d***s with the attitude you have towards it. Maybe 16 year old losers who think they're God's gift don't want to date a virgin but the real guys wouldn't be intimidated by that. And dating doesn't have to include sex.

[meddleatom]

Damn, looks like no love on this answer angel haha I actually do like your answer though, +1 lol

[xxangel1990xx]

I know! Where's the love? This is easily the best answer here lol.

[babykins89]

"Well,the thing is,guys nowadays don't want to go out or date a virgin,let alone have a relationship with one."

It sounds like the only guys you know are assholes. Guys that want to get into your pants won't want to date a virgin.

"I can block out my feelings and emotions and I don't become clingy cause I don't like clingy people myself."

When you have sex with someone that's going to change.

"I mean,it's not like having sex with someone I "love" will make it any better"

It actually makes it 100,000,000% better.

"sex isn't special to guys,"

Jesus! meet some new guys...

[kailar]

This is totally up to you. Are you ready and wanting to give it away to just some random boy you pick out?! Then I say I do it. Don't let other people make this decision for you.

If you have any doubts what-so-ever then don't do it. You should be completely ready. Mentally more than anything.

Maybe rather than just giving it to just some guy, give it to a boyfriend. Just maybe don't tell them that you're a virgin? That could be your problem. Don't give away that information away so easily. Wait til they become close to you and like you for you before you spew that information. They should stick around for liking you at that point rather than just break up with you over it. You can always tell him you are willing to lose it to him if the thought of breaking up with you occurs to him at that point. (if you are)

Hope this helps!

[cjwright79]

Well there are countless tales of women who wish they hadn't given it away so soon, so with that in mind I would counsel you towards celibacy, unless you really really want it and need it.

[Jarett]

Lol sounds like a dumb idea to me. You just need to take a deep breath and relax. No point in doing stuff just to do it. You are totally normal.

[Asker]

Why would it be a dumb idea?I don't understand how having sex is dumb?

[Jarett]

It's not dumb. But it's like getting a tattoo. Doing it just to do it is dumb. But if you want to just be a body and nothing else, then go get used by a guy. It's totally your call

[the-82]

You would be doing it just to do it, you may regret it later

[Asker]

Uh ok,people have sex all of the time just to do it,but whatever.I'll go "get used"

[shrike092]

You will regret it later unless you don't care about love. and I strongly suggest that you don't let yourself "get used." This idea is insane, take it from people that has been there......Don't slip off the deep end and end up where we did....regretting it at the end.

[Asker]

Uh,whatever.If I was older,you wouldn't be giving me the "you'll regret it" speech.Virginity I't all that important or special

[peace-love-couture]

Everyone is a virgin at one point or another.It is not a newly found concept nor is it rare.There is nothing particularly special about virginity,other than what religion makes it out to be.And Shrike092,I'm not a ho actually,I'm a virgin,so learn your facts before spewing out ignorant words

[Jarett]

Ok. You know it all :) Thanks again for asking the question

[Asker]

Your welcome*rolls eyes*

[shrike092]

I'm only 18, I lost mine only four years ago and regret it already girl. it is special to guys that want love. If love ain't what your after then so be it.....You will look back when you get married and say, I shoulda listened, those dudes and that chick were right! ;-(

[girl41492]

Your dumb. Virginity is not a guy repellent these days. I had my first kiss a month before I turned seventeen. That's all I did with that boyfriend. Then I met the guy I'm still with and I love him, we've been together for almost a year and I lost my virginity to him two days ago. He was not repulsed by me being pure at all he was glad that I was. You should wait to do it with someone you love because it didn't feel very good at all in a physical sense. He cam too fast for me to cum. But emotionally it was the best thin I'd ever felt I love him so much and I'm glad we waited ten months before doin it so that it would be that much more special. You should do the same. You won't be the only virgin in college.

[Asker]

Why answer if you're going to call me dumb?It's pointless

[girl41492]

I mean it's dumb question. Why would you do that to yourself you'll regret it so much when you find a guy that you actually love.

[whipzzz]

Yeah, do it and get it "over with". It's just sex. Learn from it. I really don't understand why people get hung-up about it. It's free, it's immensely pleasurable, and it doesn't have to have anything to do with love.

[Alistair]

Any guys who are so freaking worried that your a virgin and aren't interested because you are, are not worth your time because those are the kinda of guys you don't wanna be with.

[here4you]

not at all

[rakar]

yes just get it over with, it amazing and you'll be glad you did

[PEACELOVEMARISSA]

hun. no. save yourself for marriage. like you should wait for the rite person. waiting is the best. I mean you could end up with an STD did you now 1 in4 people have them? and your not the only virgin out there I happen to be 15 never been kissed and I really don't plan on banging guys any time soon(: so maybe just get a boyfriend fool around with clothes on but yeah you should be proud to be a virgin. because most of my friends regret having sex! hope I hepled.

[tiger1890]

Honestly, Don't do it...not until you are ready and with someone that you trust. I really wish that I have waited, and later on in your life when you do start dating someone, if they really cared about you and loved you for who you are then being a virgin shouldnt matter to them. Also, if they were a really good guy then he may think more of you if you had the guts to not just lose your virginity to just anyone or someone that you weren't ready to have sex with. I have experienced the same feelings that you are right now, and I had sex with someone that I truly wasn't ready to have sex with and I can honestly say that it is the ONLY thing that I have ever done in my life that I regret

[shrike092]

Take it from this girls experience.....Be true to yaself girl. have some freaking confidence.

[tiger1890]

Haha thanks, and I've just been skimming all these other posts from other people and I don't think its a religion thing or whatever, but there's something significant about it because once you do it it is somehting that you can NEVER take back no matter how much you wish you could. And if you are doing something just to do it so you can be like everyone else out there that isn't a virgin so you can attract more guys or have a different image or any other reason that isn't because you are ready then

[tiger1890]

You are doing it for all the wrong reasons and whether you think you will or not most likely you will get hurt, I really thought I wasn't going to be affected when I lost my virginity, and everyone says that it doesn't change anything, but in reality it changes almost everything about yourself and how you view yourself and how others view you if they know or don't know, but the point here is don't do it just to do it, believe me it will be worth it in the long run

[peace-love-couture]

Well when I say religion,i does go back to religious reasons as to why virginity is help on a pedestal.I personally am a virgin,but I certainly do not worship my virginity or act as though it makes me a better or different person than anyone else.Everyone's a virgin at one point or another,there is nothing special about it in my opinion.Sex is natural and something that has been done since the beginning of time and everyone reacts to sex differently and has different views on sex

[tiger1890]

Yea, I understand that and you do have a point, but what I'm saying is that to do it just do it so you can be like every one else that isn't a virgin is kinda silly and whether you think there is or not there is a mental aspect that goes along with the virginity thing ESPECIALLY for girls, and I have been EXACTLY where this girl is and I really wasn't ready when I did it and I honestly with I could say that I was still a virgin, but it isn't our choice she asked the question and all she can do is

[tiger1890]

Look at all the advice everyone has given her and decide for herself, but I definately learned my lesson the hardway and it has made me a stronger person but I wish that I had listened to other people in my life that told me it was worth waiting for the right person (not necessarily marriage but at least someone that you trust and love and it mutual) but that's okay...one way ot another she will learn something from this whole experience herself no mater what her choice is

[crazylady009]

That would honestly be a really stupid thing to do. You should never have sex just to "get it over with" because you think it will make dating easier. My boyfriend was not put off at all by the fact that I was a virgin. I waited until I was 20 (and we had dated for 6 months) before we had sex and, honestly, I'm so glad that I waited and my boyfriend loved that he was my first. So no, it is not like a repellent or a disease...maybe you just go after jerks who aren't willing to wait for you to be ready. Seriously, though, wait otherwise I'm afraid you'll regret it.

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to say a straight up "NO", because that's juvenile.

I'm the same age, and I just wanted it over last year [but I'd had previous sexual experience]

I soon met my current boyfriend, and realised that I wanted to give my virginity to him [several months down the track]; luckily, I still had it to give.

I know you feel like guys are "afraid" of virgins, but many respect it, and those are the ones that is worth it.

Also, you'll have a more pleasent with someone you love and who loves you, as it is uncomfortable, and you'll be more relaxed knowing you trust and care about each other, thus reducing your discomfort.

So I say, wait a little longer, until you figure out what you really want

Then, if you still just want it over with, that's your decision, and if it feels right for you, go for it

Who knows, it might be an enjoyable experience for you [:

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Do what feels right.