Sexual Health
+1 y

Are blowjobs necessary in a relaionship?

OK before all the guys start giving me raised eyebrows, please just answer the question straight up, are blowjobs really important? I mean I know guys just simply love it but what if you are in love and your girlfriend doesn't like that, would you be willing to sacrifice that? after all you can have tons of p***y instead and other positions etc, and can you just substitute it with a blowjob sex toy? I know it can't beat the real deal but still, so guys give in your 2 cents on this.
Updates:
+1 y
i don't expect to be eaten either because I know its not fair so stop giving smart alec-y answers of "how would you feel if you don't get head" I can live without em loll
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I don't get it...

    Like, I've never had a blowjob before, but I hear so many girls complaining about how they don't like doing it... that I dunno. I would feel VERY uncomfortable sitting there, doing nothing at all, while a girl that I like (or even LOVE) does something that she doesn't feel like doing AT ALL. To me, that's called taking advantage of someone, and it feels extremely wrong to me. And I don't get how some guys claim to love a girl, yet are OK with making her do something she doesn't want to.

    So the only way I'd be OK with getting a blowjob is if she actually WANTS to do it. Because I heard some girls actually like it, so WTF? If they like it, then sure, why not? But if they don't, I don't see why ANY guy in the world should have the right to force a girl to do it.

    Since I can't speak for other guys, I can't answer your question. But what I can tell you is I would rather die, than become some so selfish as to think it's OK to make my girlfriend do something that she finds gross.

    I've survived without a blowjob for 23 years, and so I'm pretty damn sure blowjobs will be one of the last things on my list of things that are necessary to make a relationship work between me and a girl I deeply care about.

    • Thanx so much!!!! I've marked ur answer the best!!!!

    • I agree, I don't get the attraction. I've had them often enough in the past, it's not really for me.

    • You are actually amazing to be honest!!!

    • Show All

  • Absolutely not, as long as she'll let me have tons of p**y (oral!) instead, and other positions. What sane guy could ever not want that deal? I don't think I'd go for the bj sex toy and I definitely wouldn't want her giving me a bj if she wasn't enjoying it as much as I was eating her out. So that's how I feel. Getting her p**y like you said would certainly trump big time over getting a blowjob from a girl that really didn't wanna give one. Getting a bj isn't THAT important because I assume she'd give me a hj some times and those can be pretty exciting. :-) I would most certainly take a girl like you.

    • Lol thanx!! but some guys make it an issue and sometimes people also break up because of it and make the girl feel guilty that "you don't love me enough if you don't blow me etc"

    • Ask those type of guys what getting a blowjob has to do with loving him "enough". Like what are their definitions of "enough". If a guy is willing to break up for that reason, I can tell you 100% that they're not worth your time unless you just as soon do it if it came to that. But a relationship will never last when you have a guy like that. For one reason or another, the relationship will fall apart. A guy that needs a bj in order to stay in a relationship is a jerk and an ass.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I can't really speak for the guys but I might have some advice. So in my first marrige my husband would tell me to give him a bj all the time and if I didn't want to he would make me so bad and guilty for no doing it that eventually I would just do it to shut him up. And in return he would never go down on me. So when I got with my husband I told him I didn't really like doing that because I had to do it all the time. He doesn't mind. I will do it for him everyonce in a while when I wanna do something just for him. But from personlly speaking in my relationship.. no it's not that important.. but some guys like it a lot and will want you to. But no matter what don't be forced to do anything you don't want to.

    • Aah thanx soo mcuh, I don't know why I was feeling guilty I've never done that I find it really gross

    • Sure!!! just stay strong

  • If my boyfriend was willing enough to lick me out, then I would give them a blowjob. Because since about 7 months ago, I refused to put my mouth round it, I really did. The thought of a blowjob made me hurl. But then I met this guy who I really love and he loves me back.. And he licked me out one day and it was absolutely amazing.. The first time I'd ever been licked out, so then I wanted to repay the favour because that's the type of person I am.. Even though I disliked the thought of it so much, I did it because I love him and the fact that I wanted to pleasure him... So I did it and now I bloody LOVE blowjobs ;D

  • The thought of it disgusted me but I thought about it for a while and it actually isn't that bad, I mean as long as he's had a shower I love giving my boyfriend blowjobs because I know how much he loves it (and also he returns the favour!). I actually find it a real turn on to know how much he's enjoiying something so simple. But you should never do something you're not comfortable with and never let anyone try to force you to. I used to be self conscious and nervous about it so I asked my boyfriend to pressure me so that I didn't chicken out and that really worked

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What Girls & Guys Said

10 38

  • I agree with Ephram, of course not, relationships are about talking and putting the other person first, if you both do this there's no problem. If they don't want to, of course you shouldn't have to.

    The only thing I would say is that I love returning that particular favour even if she didn't want to do it I would still want to do it for her. I don't feel like it should be ''You don't do that so I won't do it either'', it's a case of preference.

  • Consider this. If a man is a great boyfriend outside the bedroom but sucks when intimate with you and makes having an orgasm more important then kissing you what will you think as time goes on ?!...To be straightforward here consider this: If you have sex but never get touched in any other way what will you think eventually?...Men ADORE blowjobs because they are representative of the fact you wish to make him feel good. If you don't give him blowjobs he will doubt you like him at some point. Its just the way men think. Its not to be a jerk I say so just the truth about the male psyche.

    • Yea I know that guys love blowjobs, but what if you are with a girl who hates giving them but that doesn't mean she loves you any less, would you be happy to get oral from a girl who isn't happy giving you one, there are tons of other ways to show a guy you love him other than a blowjob, and who the heck even invented them? I'm not saying guys shouldn't get blowjobs but just askin that what if they are with someone who they love a lot who can't give them, will you sacrifice it or dump the girl

    • Yea or she could just tell him he's important to her and wants to please him but wouldn't want to go outside her boundaries

  • I would never ever go out with a guy and expect him to put up with not getting regular blow jobs (if ur relationship is sexual). . I would only refuse if he refused me oral. Learn to enjoy it and get good at it.

  • For me, yes they are important. Why? Because I enjoy them. Every relationship I've ever been in they were a part of. Some were bad, good, great and amazing. Even a bad one, is better than NONE. If you don't want to give them, then there is some guy out there that doesn't mind "NOT GETTING THEM". But, I'm not that guy. I'm the guy that needs a girl that "LOVES GIVING THEM". There is someone for everyone out there.

  • I think the woman should only do it if she is comfortable with it. In a relationship, I believe that the woman is the Queen and its all about her needs!

  • No.

  • keep it real ... if you don't handle your girlfriend duties , expect to get cheated on ... period .. what you won't do another female will do .

  • I'm curious, what might a blowjob sex toy be? LOL

    • Fleshlight

    • Lol I just got to know about it recently as well, its like a vibrator thingy sex toy only that it mimics tongue like movement and you put it on the d*** anf its texture is soft and like a tongue or something

  • FOR ME. Blowjobs are one of the most fun sexual activities, BUT I wouldn't ask for one until very far into a relationship. I wouldn't consider a relationship without one a bad relationship and, while I've never been denied a bj, I have had other fantasies turned down. Do what makes you comfortable. If you don't enjoy it, maybe you can compromise and only do it for him on special occasions. If it's something you are truly uncomfortable with, see what it is about doing that that makes you uncomfortable. If it's something you can grow to tolerate, see what you can do. He'll appreciate the effort more than the act itself if he's any quality guy.

  • As far as I know there are no rules about this!

  • No. Not much of a relationship unless at least one orifice is involved though.

  • I never ask for a bj...ever! I LOVE eating her way more anyday...and do it every time we have sex. If she CHOOSES to go down on me, then I will enjoy it...however, I like focusing on her and get just as horny (if not more) pleasuring her.

  • I would never expect my girlfriend to do enthing she didn't like. And I would not want her to expect me to eat her out if I didn't want to do it (I actually do though, but only because I like to pleasure her.

  • No, but they are helluva fun.

  • Nothing sexual is ever required in a relationship! Seriously, if someone is going to pressure you to be someone you're not then don't even bother with them. It's as simple as that. If you tell a guy that you don't want to give head and can't except that, tell him to take a hike. You deserve to be respected as a person.

    • Yea that's right, its just the thought bringing my mouth even close to a d*** disgusts me and I wouldn't even ask to be eaten because it isn't fair for the guy either if I'm not giving head then why should he, but can you elaborate a little by what you meant a nothing sexual is ever required in a relationship? I'm interested because that coming from a guy is too interesting t know about

    • Man, you got to be kidding.... have you ever had a girlfriend?

  • i can't speak for everyone but, I could deal with just grappleing and her grabbing balls and me sticking my d*** up her ass. truly, blow jobs are deep throaght. send me a message about this I'm curious and straight. what does semen taste like and what if it tasted like mint bubblegum?

    • Dont know, havnt ever given a blow job, lol mint I doubt because they wouldn't be selling flavored condoms if it tasted any good, does a girl's come taste like mint?

  • are blowjobs necessart in a relationship? that's like asking if gasoline is necessary in a vehicle...i think so! jk, but on a more serious note...i think if the man wants it and the woman wants to keep him then yup, it is. personally, I don't like eating girls out, but some of the gfs I've had loved getting eaten out so id do it outta sacrifice. sure, I didn't enjoy the act of it but I did enjoy them enjoying. of course id have to set boundries tho like DEFINITELY after a shower or during a shower lol!

  • why ask that question blowjobs arnt so important that id give up a relationship for yeah they are great but not worth destroying a chance at happiness for

  • I have to say it is something I feel I will need in a relationship, but I always want to go down on anyone I date anyway. Some girls don't like doing it, but you can prolong sex with someone if you do. I guess if I really liked the girl I could do without it, but it would help the relationship though.

  • they aren't but the relationship would suck without them

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