Is it normal only to feel pain when he fingers me?

[Anonymous]

OK, so I am my boyfriend's first virgin girlfriend. I am not going to have actual sex until I am married. Although we do everything else. My boyfriend was putting his finger in and out of my vagina continuously (I think it's called fingering but I don't know), and he says it's supposed to feel good? It hurts me so much, so I told him to stop. Neither of us understand each other in that department. Why does it hurt so much? Is it because I am a virgin? And how is it supposed to help give an orgasm or feel good? It gives me no pleasure at all.

[Chessy-27]

Well yea, I think it's because you're a virgin.

Unless he's just really bad at what he does...

I was a virgin and a guy I was hooking up with didn't know before he stuck two fingers up there. It hurt really bad for me and I automatically made him stop.

Maybe your boyfriend needs to slow it down the first couple of times and only use one finger. Since you're a virgin, you're probably pretty tight so yea, I think that's why it hurts.

Hope that helped and that things get better. =)

[Asker]

Ouch! Two fingers! Wow that must have been so painful! He tried using his pinky but it still really hurt. Also, does this make you feel pleasure?

[Chessy-27]

Haha, Yea for sure. It hurt like a mofo. It's all good though. Um. Well it didn't really start feeling good for me until after I had sex. I think it's because my hymen was in the way and hadn't torn yet. But after that it felt great. =) But now with my current boyfriend it's not as nice as it was with the previous guy I was with. So I guess it depends how well your guy is at it too pleasure-wise. Practice makes perfect though I suppose. Haha

[Asker]

Hmmm, what's the difference between how the other guy did it and how the current one does it?

[Chessy-27]

Haha. um...that's a great question! Ya know, I'm not really sure what they're doin down there But I guess the previous one put more effort in it if that makes sense? Like, the guy has to really wanna do it too because you can for sure tell when the guy doesn't really wanna make you feel good in return. are things working out any better or are the still generally the same?

[saphirasilverwings]

Make sure you're wet enough. Use lube if you have to. Relax and be gradual about it.

It might work better if, rather than thrusting his finger in and out (which creates more friction at the opening of your vagina) he curled it and made a firm come-here motion against your g-spot. That way, he's only moving against the spot where you WANT friction, and not aggravating the area where you're tight due to being a virgin.

[wildfire5288]

He might be doing it wrong because I never slept with my first boyfriend and he fingered me a lot and it never really hurt. At first it was a little uncomfortable but I don't ever remember feeling pain. It could be because you're a virgin (but I doubt it), it could be because you're not turned on enough and you're a little dry, or he could just have long fingernails

[Asker]

He has short finger nails, he does it when I'm turned on a lot sometimes, and he does it fast. Maybe I should try what most people on here seem to say about getting him to do it slower.

[davidthewise]

Experiment. It's the only way you can find out what works for you. You need to work up to it (foreplay) and possibly use a lubricant. Make sure he goes slow and make sure you really want to do it.

[inquizitor911]

Try using some type of lubrication. If that fails, ask him to experiment with different motions.