Sexual Health
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She lets me touch her A LOT. Is this normal?

I've known this girl for a bit and have been thinking of asking her on a date. She's in my college class. We've talked for a while, but I wanted to convey my interest, so I started touching her to show that. At first it was just tapping her shoulder or holding it for a second. Then I started putting my hand on the small of her back when I opened doors for her. Now it's at the point where I put my hand on her mid/low back when we walk and what's amazing about all of this is that she has never flinched/recoiled at all or told me to stop or pulled away. I always checked her facial and body reactions discretely whenever I make a move like this and she never showed any signs of discomfort. I'm not sure---do girls let guy friends touch them like this? Like literally, when we walk, I can have my hand on her back the whole time and she doesn't care.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • SheLIKES you - that is really cute - I like that you did that, cause you are actually giving her a chance to see if she feels comfortable with you physically.

    My boyfriend did that with me & I LOVED it cause I had no clue that he liked me so every time he did something it was a shock & electric.

    Plus that way we never had to have an awkward conversation or anything.. everything kind of developed at the right time... It was gradual.

    But also, when guys I DON'T like touch me, I automatically recoil, I do not even doit on purpose unless I feel it is inappropriate , in which case I tell them I do not like to be touched... I do not seem to have a problem, sometimes my guy friends touch me but if I am attracted to them I naturally do not ind,but if I am seeing someone it bothers me...

    But if a guy friend were to doit often I would get uncomfortable case I would not want to lead him , unless I was attracted to him in which case I would be happy.

    :-)

  • I have had a male friend who did this. Yeah I liked him but I was so confused since he never told me his feelings and all he would do is: touch my lower back, tickle, poke me. It was ALWAYS HANGING OUT (sorry, that just drove me nuts and now I've placed him in friends zone).

    Since you are transitioning from the many "hang-outs" to dating...just try holding her hand. I think that action is self-explanatory and not awkward at the same time. Then if you want to take a step further, let her know how you feel only if you want to make it exclusive. By the way, she is comfortable with you so she let you touch her...I have had guys who would try to touch me and I would just take a step back, flinch, or tell them "sorry I don't like people touching me". I rather hurt their feelings by making it clear of where I stand than having them keep doing it many times more.

    • Oh and I do not let my guy friends touch my lower back. I treat them like bros or buddies. If a guy friend starts doing that, I will tell him: what is wrong with him, quit doing that, & go get a gf. Assuming I am not romantically interested in him.

    • Can you also please update if you take any further steps with her...? hehe just being curious now.... gl & hf =D

    • Wait, so are you saying I'm doing the wrong thing by touching her? That's putting me in friend zone? I would think that touching a woman would keep you out of it.

    • Show All

  • try to reach for her hands, if you're walking try to hold her hand, or if you don't wanna go that far, then when you're sitting in class, try to put your hand on top of hers, and see how she reacts, does she pull away quickly being freaked out uncomfortable, or does she blush, smile, show some positive gesture? also, if you want an excuse to touch her, the last guy that liked me wanted to see me ring and bracelet so he just went for it and gently grabbed my hand saying how cute my jewelry was...and I blushed like a fool! lol

Most Helpful Guys

  • She's comfortable with you, and doesn't think you're creepy. This is very good, but it doesn't mean she'll want to go out with you. She might also not let you touch her in CERTAIN places you might feel like going. :p

    Try holding her hand next, and see how she reacts. If she responds positively, you're free to ask her out. >.> However, keep in mind there's the very small possibility that maybe she's just putting up with this because she doesn't want to make you feel rejected.

  • She obviously wants your attention and you should appreciate that is a connection! Give her total respect and guide your interest further !

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What Girls & Guys Said

15 4

  • yes go for her. We don't let just about any guy friend to touch us that way... its pretty much unconsciously like your body doesn't clinched because it "accepts" you... I am that way too... when my body feels comfortable with someone it feels normal but when not then I just feel uncomfortable and it will show in my face or reaction...

  • she must like you too because I wouldn't let any guy touch my lower back if I didn't like him. Ask her out on a date.

  • I'd agree with the first two posters. Unless she's generally very comfortable around guys, most girls won't just like any guy touch them and not flinch, especially in sensitive areas like the small of the back.

  • that's weird... I wouldn't let anyone touch me like that unless we were going out.. ask her out already... and for goodness sakes, don't ask her to "hangout" go on a date.

  • i agree with the rest of the comments you should ask her out to lunch or dinner :)

  • Ask her in as casual a way as possible if she appreciates physical contact or not, act like you don't care - don't try to sound searching. That's my advice because - a guy friend of mine used to be very touchy with me, and that intimidated me, I hate being touched - I mean I was scared, because no one touches me.. ever. I didn't let him know it scared me because I was too intimidated to speak to him, I ended up telling our school counselor at the school who had to talk to him about it. He didn't get in trouble, but he never did that to me again.. I wish I wasn't too freaked out to open my mouth.. and please keep in mind that this is a RARE case - most girls would tell the guy to stop, I was very easily intimidated like that - but it is a very slight possibility she could be like that, extremely extremely slight possibility, but for the risk of it then ask her at some point..

  • I agree with anonymous. I think she likes you. Most girls won't let you do this without showing any discomfort unless they have some feelings foryou. So now you just have to decide what you are going to do next. I say go ahead and ask her on a date. Just make it a kind of casual thing at first then take it from there.

  • If I were you I would quit wasting time and ask this girl for a date ASAP. She is giving you plenty of signs that she is interested in you. Good Luck

  • Go get her :)

    She likes you, you like her, go for it!

  • I think it means she's comfortable around you...Does she look you in the eye a lot? Do you feel like she wants to date you? Or is she avoiding eye contact? You won't believe how much eye contact means...

  • Yeah, I have guy friends who are more touchy than others, so I wouldn't really see this as a guy who likes me as more than a friend. To make it seem like more than friends, it would have to be his arm around my shoulders or something. If you do that and she seems into it- she doesn't pull away or stiffen up or anything- you might try this: One thing you could do to show her is when you're facing each other fairly close- like maybe if you're talking before she goes into her room?- look at her lips, lean in a little, still keeping some space between you, then look back into her eyes and say bye. That will definitely give her a clue, and she'll probably like it. ONLY do this if you're pretty sure she likes you though.



  • Stop the touchy thing and ask her out if you are really interested.

  • Just ask her out already!

  • it's normal if the chick wants you to touch her... and I'm sure she wants you to do a few other thngs to her too... Go get her...

  • Girls let close guy friends touch them anywhere. lol

    • Yeah, but I'm not exactly "close". I've only known her a couple months.

    • You can be classed as 'close' in a couple months. :P

  • yea she may feel a different way about you then the way you feel about her or may be she just wants to be friends

  • If your not dating our made a bigger move like asking her out do these simple steps: Try to tell her in a calm place, Don't ask her when your nervous, (It may keep her calm so she can be chill and not nervous with you), if that works she will respond with a yes (but if not, don't try and act it cool and don't look sad). Just be cool with her decision, that's all the best advice I got, So good luck..

  • i DEFINITELY think you two have potential for a full-fledged romantic relationship

    it's pretty uncommon for guys to do that for them... with the exception of guys/girls in the clubbin' arena who're used to kisses, touches, hugs, "sexy" compliments etc etc

    but a normal girl welcoming this? I think it's a good sign :)

  • I have a guy friend who does this to me. I kind of like him, so I let him and don't make any kind of face, or flinch or whatever, I just continue as I was. But if I didn't like him at all like 'that', I would probably give a quick look to him of like 'Hmmm why you doing that..'

    I'd say she probably likes you ^^

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Home >  Sexual Health  > She lets me touch her A LOT. Is this normal?