Still having sex with the father of my child who has a new girlfriend?

[mina2009]

I was dating my ex for 8 moths when protected I got pregnant. He broke up with when I refused to have an abortion and found himself a new gf. We had sex couple times while I was pregnant. 1 day he sent me flowers at work saying that he was sorry for the way he treated me and wants to be with me he was still with that girl when he told me all this. He then told me that he was going to break up with her but I have to be patient. The next day I found picture of them on Facebook having fun still pregnant. When I complained about that he told me that I'm stressing him out that he doesn't know when he is going to break up with her that its better we stay friends. Months later he came by my house and we had sex for month he was always at my house since he had my keys. Suddenly he disappeared for couple days when I said something about that he got upset that we are not together I shouldn't be acting like I was his girlfriend happened when I was 7 months prego. I then stopped having sex with him until last week we had sex y beautiful baby is now 3 months old. I am 26 years old and he is my 1st love. Since the day we started dating I think about him everyday. Now I don't know what to do he is still with that girl and she is in love with him I don't know if I should stop the sex and he will come back or else just move on Its hard to move on because I will see him every time he comes see his baby and that stupid feeling of love is killing e. Please guys help me to get him back or to forget about him.

[cajoi]

Like I've always advised, sex outside a relationship is NEVER a good idea. You're giving him one of the major perks of being in a relationship (sex) with none of the emotional pressures. Obviously, you still have feelings for your ex and you probably went into this "friends with benefits" type relationship, hoping that, eventually, you would win him back or he'd some how wake up and figure out what a great catch you are and break up with his current girlfriend.

You are only emotionally torturing yourself here. Stop and think about whether or not this guy is the prince you really think he is. Would you want to be with someone who:

1) Broke up with you when you refused to have an abortion.

2) Cheated on you with his pregnant ex girlfriend.

3) Continually, claims that he's going to leave his girlfriend for you, but has not made one move to do so.

4) Disappears for days at a time and feels no need to explain himself to you.

5) Claims that YOU are stressing HIM out, when you went through 9 months of pregnancy and excruciatingly painful labor.

6) Has made no move to step up and be a responsible father and role model to his child.

Is that the kind of man you could fall in love with?

That doesn't sound like love to me. It sounds to me like he's having his cake and eating it too. If he couldn't get any sex from his girlfriend because she wasn't around, he could just go see you, because you were always waiting around for him. And what a bonus, he can have unprotected sex with you because you're already pregnant. He leads you on by feeding you these promises that he'll eventually break up with his girlfriend for you, it "just isn't the right time". WAKE UP, it's never going to be the right time. He's using you and you're only hurting yourself by thinking that you can win him back by letting him have sex with you.

It's painful, devastating, emotional torture that you're putting yourself through and yes, I am speaking from experience here. The fact that this guy is willing to have sex with you knowing full well that you still love him and then summarily march right back to his girlfriend indicates a serious lack of respect for you, your child, and his girlfriend. If he can cheat on his girlfriend with you, what do you think is going to happen if you two got back together? Not only that, think about what sort of message you're sending to your child. Do you want your son or daughter growing up thinking that it's okay for a man to disrespect a woman that way? Is that how a responsible father acts?

My advice would be to move on. Any man who can treat you like your feelings don't matter--doesn't deserve you. You DESERVE a man that will love you, your child, and treat you like royalty. A man who will ALWAYS make time for you---not just when he thinks his girlfriend won't find out. And just think, all the time you are wasting pining away for this guy, you might be missing out on the man who will be all of the things you're looking for.

[Anonymous]

Forget him. The guy broke up with you because you wouldn't kill your baby and found a new girl. Now he's just playing you. He is a complete jerk and taking advantage of the fact you still love him and your the mother of his child. Stop giving your p**** away to a man who doesn't deserve it. Don't show your child this terrible example of how to treat a woman/be treated by a man.