I need a dominant guy, how do I know?

It took me a long time to realize that my type of guy is very dominant. I mean sexually, and in day to day life. Something about being bossed around/controlled makes me feel really comfortable/loved. Maybe crazy, but hey we all have our kinks. Either way though, somehow I always end up with the sweet guys who would do anything for me and just want to make me happy. I sound like an idiot I know, what girl WOULDN'T want that guy? Well, this girl clearly doesn't. I'm just really down for the whole "Make me a sandwich, and when I'm done with it I'm going to f*** you the way I want to" scenario. Anyways, I'm trying to figure out how to tell earlier on what kind of guy is that type. Personality traits, gestures, the way they talk, etc. Any clues to help me find a guy who is the way I want without going through the whole dating process to find out. Hope you can help!


Most Helpful Guy

  • What rockchickUK said makes a lot of sense to me. I'm def. the happy medium type. Sexually, I want to be in control nearly all the time. Very rarely do women I'm with want to be in control, but on the rare occasion they do, I'll go with it.

    Non-sexually, I'm a nice guy. I'd probably say, "Could you make me a sandwich? If it's a good sandwich, when I'm done with it, I'm going to give it to you like I want to give it to you." I doubt I'd say, "Get in that kitchen bitch and make me a friggin sandwich NOW! Because I want a girlfriend not a slave. Chances are I can make a better sandwich then you can anyway, so I'm not going to keep you around for sandwiches.

    As far as finding this type of guy you are looking for without the whole dating process? Good luck.


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What Guys Said 4

  • I don't know if you can tell... and I think if you CAN tell, he'd probably not be dominant, but controlling, which is really a different thing. I can see where you're coming from, though, I describe my wife as "sweet on the street, whore in the sheets", and she describes me as "gentleman on the street, pimp in the sheets."

    I don't think you can tell right away, though, it just takes time.

  • Any guy is going to be nice at first. But I bet if you stay with someone for a while, they will figure out that you aren't going to get your feelings hurt when they act more controlling. But unfortunately, that probably means they are going to think you're not that smart, if you need someone to tell you what to do.

  • I hope I'm not too late for this but you can tell by asking which book/movies/cartoons are his favourites. He might want to hide it, so the best way of asking is starting casually with "What's your favorite movie?" and then continue with "What do you think of book/movie X?", where X should be a book/movie/cartoon that has a dominiant male protagonist with a submissive girlfriend and not a submissive female protagonist with a dominant boyfriend. His fantasy should be complementary to yours, not equal to yours. Of course, letting him know that you like those movies gives him insight into your preference as much as his.

    I don't think there are any other clues.


    A good-natured nice, shy gentleman and a DearS anime fan.

  • thats goddamned hot. hell, I'd love a bitch to have fun with like that... I would just say, look out for a guy who treats you right, but who isn't a little bitch; he tells you what he wants and doesn't put up with your bullsh*t


What Girls Said 1

  • I'd say be careful what you *think* you wish for!

    I think maybe it would be better to get a 'nice guy' who feels comfortable to play that dominant role in the bedroom etc.

    Nice guys don't mean boring guys.

    You genuinely might want someone to boss you around but I have found over the years, girls actually want a happy medium.

    The kind of guy you are seeking is probably a lot harder to find than you think, as they are usually the 'nice guy' until they actually get you.

    Myself, being a strong woman who ended up with a controlling guy, I shudder at that's what you actually are looking for.

    It looks again as if they nice guy is going to lose out over the bad boys...such a shame.

    Good Luck though ! :o)

    • I hate to knock the good guys any further back, but It's true that the "bad boys" really are my type. As for the playing the dominant role part, I've had a few boyfriends try that for me and it just didn't really go over well. I guess just knowing that it's an act turns me off. I haven't thought about the fact that maybe if I did end up with the type of guy I'm describing it wouldn't be all I imagine. Something to think about. Thanks for your input!

    • It doesn't have to be an act, though... it's definitely not an act when I get my wife in the bedroom. I guess it depends what you mean by dominant in day-to-day, though. Do you want a guy who doesn't ask your opinion of activity every time you go out? A guy that actually makes decisions on his own, or someone who wants to keep you barefoot and pregnant?

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