Deformed Penis: Hypospadias and how I should tell my girlfriend...

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone, I'm 24 years old and I have had a mild form of Hypospadias (my urethra opens just short of the glans on my penis). I've had it all my life with no surgical repair. My penis does not have abnormal curvature, it's about 6in. erect and I'm not circumcised. My parents and I are the only people who know I have it. I've recently (Since Dec. 2009) entered a relationship with the girl of my dreams... literally. She's beautiful and we love and trust each other incredibly much. I consider marriage with her as a real possibility. She has told me things about herself she has never told anyone else... I'm a virgin, and for many reasons, I've decided to wait on sex until marriage (she feels the same way). There has never been a need to tell someone about my HS before, but I think now, since I'm getting serious with this woman, it may be time to tell her. What are woman's reactions to telling them about HS? How can I bring it up when she hasn't even seen it yet? We're both being educated in the health-care field, so it seems like we both should know the facts medically... I guess I just don't want it to be a surprise for her, and I'm not particularly concerned that she would leave me. I just want to be open and honest with her because she means so much to me. IDEAS?! Thanks for your help.

[bitesizedonut]

For me it would not be a deal breaker at all - and being in the medical field myself it is something I have learned about so it wouldn't faze me. Moreover - I have seen many, many worse malformations (I had a patient once who got a staph infection in his penis and it because some of the tissues had gone necrotic his penis had literally split in half length wise with his urethra opening at the base of his penis almost). You still have a fully functioning member and even have the possibility of still having children (though I imagine the particular location of your urethra's exit my make conception slightly more difficult).

Bring it up when it feels most natural. Or tell her you have something you'd like to tell her and you'd like her to be open minded about it. Etc. You know her best so you probably can sort of *feel* when the time will be right to tell her.

Good luck :] I think she'll be understanding. Like others have said - when you are ready the right words should come.

[Ed316]

Bullshit hypospadias is one of the hardest things to live with everybody keep telling you this fairytale she said oh just tell the girl you have something to show her or some type day she'll be ready she'll never be ready for that I'm 33 and I only had six and a handful of times times I didn't have sex I was younger and I had on the condom and he did not know my Hypospadias is just under the head and I'm not circumcised it is a curse sometimes it drives you Man I wish I had the money to get it fixed I pray every day for because haven't this is just too unbearable

[Jason___K]

@Ed316 You think Hypospadias is bad, look up bladder exstrophy.

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend has HS. He had it corrected as a child and it has had no issue. I do not love him any less for it. He never told me. I never expected him to. But after one night of me giving him a bj. I noticed scars and asked him. He told me and was very self conscious that I would judge him or make fun. It did not make me love him any less. I did not pity him. I love him for him. He is unique and that's what I love about him. If this girl doesn't accept you for who you are then you probably shouldn't be with her. Sorry if that sounded cruel. And it's her loss. Not to mention that his corrective surgery has made him unique and have a thicker head than guys that don't have HS. And honest to God it is very pleasurable. If you do decide to tell her now I would suggest using visuals. I didn't understand and had to research for weeks to get a better understanding. But honestly, it shouldn't matter to her if she loves you.

[lindacalloway847]

Hey dude. Hope you're doing well, thanks for sharing. There is no such thing as a straight penis so if it isn’t causing you any pain then don’t worry about it. Most people simply want a clean penis that works so just use a penis health creme once a day and you will be good. These are multivitamin cremes made just for the penis and improve its overall health, look and feel.. good stuff. Good luck!

[Angel-1325]

I mean how long have you guys been talking for? If you feel confident that she won't judge you for it then just tell her. Tell her whenever your ready..and trust me if she really feels for you her reactions should be normal...:)...

[Anonymous]

I had no idea what HS was so I needed to look it up...I personally would not even consider this to be a "deformity". I think that you should just go ahead and let her know through engaging in a talk about sex. I think that even if you weren't in a serious relationship this would not be a problem. Just be completely honest. I really don't think she will even care.

Good luck