Cuddling more intimate than sex?

[Anonymous]

This applies to friends with benefits and casual sex. I can basically have sex without getting attachedy. But sometimes I come off as cold & un-affectionate because I don't really like to cuddle and be "affectionate" with a guy unless we have somewhat of a relationship, because that behavior makes me get emotionally attached. Most guys I've come in contact with are really cuddly, and they're usually the ones wanting to cuddle after sex, and I'll do it to a level that I'm comfortable with, but I won't usually initiate it or anything. Most guys have pointed it to me, but not really made a big deal out of it. Again, I'm talking about FWBs. I'm perfectly fine showing affection with boyfriends. Is this behavior weird? If you had a FWB that acted this way, what would you think?

[toulouse]

But sometimes I come off as cold & un-affectionate because I don't really like to cuddle and be "affectionate" with a guy unless we have somewhat of a relationship " Hence fwb,

(Am I wrong In assume that is what you are referring to?) no one should expect you to be affectionate.

I do not even understand why you feel guilty about doing what you are supposed to do with a non relationship sexual relationship. Why wold you be expected to cuddle? The whole point of a relationship is that YOU DO NOT HAVE AN EMOTIONAL connection.. I would think guys wold be greatful you were not trying to angle more than the sex.

I do not feel anything affection wise for guys I do not like.

I do not fool around with guys I like , unless of course I am in some sort of connected relationship - some understanding, even if t is not a regular relationship like we dot date or see each other much, but we have a strong connection that is understood, then I will be physical, but if not I will not even touch him to say hi or w/e.

I woud not worry if I was I your position, & I do not think you need to worry :-)

[lizlovelyxo]

I completely understand what you are talking about.

& I think you are doing just fine, I mean why get attached to a FWB right?

Boyfriends are a different story.

& I think it's normal behavior,

I had a FWB once & I knew it was just for fun,

getting attached would have been bad in this case.

[katiesmuff]

I sure know what you are talking about. It has happened and it is where the guys emotions are very high and he now wants to make it more than just a f**k session. Sometimes hard to get rid of a guy like that.

[Anonymous]

Its a coping mechanism for you in order not to establish and emotional bond with the parnter, it might be genetic, or conditioned, some people are less likely to form emotional attachments for example if you were raised with your parents and a nanny you might encode mutliple partners are acceptable as a source of your needs, either sexual or emotional...

If you are happy to hit and not be intimate great, its more of a problem of the guys who want it, and the guys who are saying its just friends with benefits are not entirely honest they are geting some emotional benefit or response with you...some don't gentics etc...

[toulouse]

It is not even appropriate for them to demand it or to act like it is peculiar behavior.. The whole law of fbw is that you do not have to feel pressured to become emotionally intimate.. You should probably remind them what the nature of the relationship is.. I honestly do not see why you are even concerned.... Why, are you concerned?

[enigma2win]

It isn't weird at all, if its going to make you attached to that person, then why should you do it?

The whole goal of being FWB is no strings attached. Ur just looking out for yourself.

Its fine.

[Anonymous]

i totally get what your saying. I don't think its weird. cuddling is way more intimate than sex.