Sexual Health
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My hole is too tight.. but im not a virgin?

I have lost my vcard recently (very painful) and i thought sex would be easier after. doesn't seem so. He can't go in my hole because i think i tense up? But how did he pop my hymen then (well i think he pushed it in thats why)? I just expect the pain now and dont even want to have sex.. he can fit one finger easily.. i feel soo abnormal.. i got a dildo and lube but my god i can't imagine even another finger in my tight hole.. i feel soo embarrassed and stupid i am becoming very depressed over this.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Let's assume you're turned on enough... then the issue is probably that you need to relax, and go slower. Let's also assume he's well endowed. He should let you control the motion. Either you on top so you can move as you're comfortable, or him on top but he you pull on his hips when you're ready for it, then stop him when it starts to hurt.

    Also, if you're of legal drinking age, a drink or two (NOT to get drunk) can help relax you.

    • I dont know why everyone says go slow. Slow is too much suspense and I start drying up and tensing up.. this is all new to me

    • Maybe my hole is just too small?

    • It sounds like most people are more experienced than you, so maybe if everyone is telling you to try something, you should try it. If you start to "dry up" in that length of time then you're probably not turned on enough.

  • Wow tight vagina! Nice. Just get comfortable, use a vibrator on your clit to help you. Lots of foreplay. For some it hurts for several sex sessions. You just need to relax, get nice foreplay... oh some positions make it worse other positions make it better.

    • What positions are good? I found laying on my stomach is best. I find it very uncomfortable to completely open my legs.. dont know why.. whys tight good? Its too painful.

    • That's because you aren't comfortable. Some ladies like it deep hitting their cervix others can't handle it. Try a position where you can be in control how deep, angle and access to clitoris it'll help to relax you vaginal muscles. Tight is good many ladies go through surgery for the tightness you have. All vaginas are different just a all penis are different. Some vaginas are loose, tight, in between. Doggy with your legs closed, you on top you'll be in control, standing up from behind, missionary.

    • All vaginas stretch during sex and go back to normal afterwards.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I was very tight in the beginning and I still am. It will get better with time. I personally loved the pain and still do. I never say no to a man with a huge dick that will make it hurt. I know I'm weird!

    Just keep going at it with a dildo. Start with the smallest one you can find and when that's comfortable get the next size bigger. You're going to be just fine, consider it a blessing as most guys love a tight pussy.

    • I feel depressed tho. I avoid sex because of the pain.. I finally put a tampon in successfully, and got myself a middle sized dildo..

    • Don't be depressed. It will get better! Have you ever heard the expression "No pain, no gain"? Everyone has their cross to bear, everyone has something holding them back. You have to just work through the pain and don't lose sight of your goal. Sex is indeed a very pleasurable experience and soon you'll be enjoying it yourself. Have you tried a couple of drinks prior to having sex? It can help to relax you, let go of any inhibitions you may have and also helps mask the pain.

  • Hymens stretch during sex and shrink back down and/or heal if need be. It's normal but if you feel like something is wrong, see the gynecologist or get help from an advice nurse. Try doing other things for foreplay to encourage those parts of your body to relax and open up in preparation for sex.

  • There's no such thing as being too tight.

    You are either not lubricated enough or yes, you are tensing your muscles up and aren't relaxed enough.

    Sex can take time to become pleasurable. It has taken a good few times for me before it became amazing.

  • You need to relax . also when you're alone just finger and pull your perineum alittle towrds your bumhole thst woll help you relax your vagina for sex

    • How do I get 2 fingers in? Looks impossible. And how to relax?

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 14

  • Laci green is your friend.

    https://youtu.be/9qFojO8WkpA

  • You're stressed. Virgins aren't tight because they're untouched, but because they're nervous. You need to relax. The more you do it, you'll ease into it. You need to get more into foreplay. More lube.

    • How can I relax? The thought of something going inside of me scares me and i clench..

    • You need to focus on your mindset. Something may be subconsciously bothering you. Get in the moment. Only focus on the sex you're having. Get a drink, DO NOT GET INTOXICATED. Just loosen up if you think it'd help, but do not drink if you think you would over do it and end up at risk of being taken advantage off. Just do something that relaxes you. Take control of the situation if you think it'd help. That way you may feel like you can relax. But I really do think you just need more foreplay, and lube.

    • Our foreplay usually lasts 15 minutes with lots of lube. I get VERY aroused but when I know he's about to enter, my body tenses up. Ugh. I dont know how to relax.. thanks a lot

    • Show All

  • OK, how big is the dildo? Is it finger size more like cock size?
    Do you tense up before sex? Some people do and then the hole closes up.
    Maybe you need to relax a lot before sex, then have a lot of foreplay.
    Best I can offer.

  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hymen

  • 1. Be calm and relaxed
    2. Let him finger you slowly before in order to stretch you
    3. Take it slow and then slowly increase the pace

  • Some girls aren't horny enough that easily, others just are tighter.

  • Your not aroused and wet enough.

    Hymen don't actually break

    • How much more aroused or wet can I get lol o. O i become a swimming pool..

    • You wanna be like Niagara Falls haha. But also relax. Try not to expect pain cuz I think that's part of your problem.

    • You're you're you're. Cmon man

    • Show All

  • Do more foreplay. Have him eat you out beforehand

    • He does. a lot..

  • Are you sure he's getting you turned on and wet enough?

    • I have about 2 orgasms usually from foreplay. And I get very wet to the point where I drip..

    • The more often you have sex the easier it will get espeacually if your really attracted to this guy

  • I am the same exact way. Kills like a mofo. Really you gotta relax, make sure you're very wet and START SLOWLY.

    • How do you have sex? But if we go slowly and i tell him what speed to go at, i tense up expecting pain you know? No idea how to relax..

    • Lol I have a longggg story. I'll give you the shortest version. So in the beginning I was just like this shit is overrated. It kills lets just stick to oral. Then once I drank a little so I was really uninhibited and I was able to fully relax. And I had sex and it hurt when he went it but much less and then it started to feel good (I guess after I stretched a little) then after that I knew what to expect so I am able to relax. It still hurts when the guy first hoes in but not nearly as bad and it gets better after a few minutes. If I was having sex very often though, it probably wouldn't hurt at all. I don't have sex a lot.

    • I hope this happens to me!!

    • Show All

  • Ok breathe in. Relax , if you keep telling yourself about the monster under your bed you won't sleep well ! Same goes for sexual intercourse. Have your boyfriend orally please you and go into it with the mindset that you can't wait till you cum orally so you'll be ready , wet , and relaxed for penetration. Did the dildo fit and is it like a male organ or a porn movie size? Nothing bigger than a peeled banana size. Relax and don't be depressed , the key is to enjoy !

  • I can help if we meet up!!

  • You need a expert like me who have the skills

  • Relax and play with yourself more often, use fingers and lubes.. practice makes perfect

  • first be cal, the tension doing so pussy is made for stretch so it be easily.

  • I think the issue is entirely you tensing up.

  • You need to have him lick you more.. :)

  • You don't get wet enough, need more foreplay it seems, imagine when a baby comes out from there

  • Maybe you are not tuned on by him?

    • He gets me VERY aroused during foreplay tho.. i orgasm a lot.. I think its all in my mind expecting pain and seeing him about to go in turns me completely off and fear kicks in..

    • Oh I can see what you mea that is Linda's ary

    • Kinda scarey* wtf auto correct lol

  • First time tough yup

    • But its not just the first time.. second time he got it in but just barely and it HURT SOOOOOO BAD. Felt like i was dying.. its been a couple Times now with this pain and i dont even feel pleasure. I dread sex..

    • Fine

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