He hates going down/fingering?I'm frustrated!

[Anonymous]

my boyfriend hates fingering and going down with a passion!I don't even bother asking him for either anymore cause according to him "I have hands and should make use of them" I'm clean and completely bare,no hair whatsoever and I get a wax whenever it's time and I'm clean.I'm pretty sure I don't smell bad,I'm actually a health nut:P Only water,fruits and vegetables,I do not care for poultry or red meat whatsoever(I'm not big into animals I guess but I'm not vegan/vegetarian).I go down on him and he doesn't taste good at all,but I do it become he loves it and I love pleasuring him,especially because he absolutely loves oral sex.I DO NOT wan to put chocolate or any food down there because it's unhealthy and can cause infections and irritation.I know it isn't supposed to be a big deal when a girl isn't getting oral sex.Ok and another thing,my best friend is going out with his best friend,and I guess he told his friends that he doesn't like going down on girls or fingering and supposedly(when I'm not around) his friends make fun of him for not doing it(That's what his best friend told my best friend)Sounds immature right?ugh, I'm frustrated,it isn't like he even lasts long,it's like 5 minutes then he's done and rolls over. Advice please? I've talked to him about this before,I can talk and talk,but it's doing no good.If I stop giving him bj's,he throws a fit and won't shut up.

[HARDASACACTUS]

A relationship is about helping each other and pleasing each other and being there for each other and though I believe a relationship needs to be more than sex there are instances like this one where you may need to move on and find someone else. It is obvious that you understand that it takes two people giving and taking to make a relationship work and that he just cares about himself. This will only get worse with time. He should not expect more from you than he is willing to do for you and that is what makes him selfish. It is pretty hard to find two people that immediately in a relationship like everything the same but over time most people do be come more compatible in those areas. It does not sound like he is bringing anything to the party but himself and that falls far short of reasonable expectations. I am one who believes that relationships take work some more than others depending on the people.

Sorry to say that this guy deserves to be alone and in his own words he should be using his hands after all he is only concerned with self pleasure. If this really bothers you then move on there are plenty of guys out there that are willing to reciprocate in sex and will most likely treat you better all around. There are guys that will not do these things you mentioned as there are women that will not do things in my opinion they are perfect for each other let them just have intercourse and never realize the full potential of pleasing their partner as well as getting pleased by their partner.

[jspruill]

Turn the tables on him... Seriously, tell him he has hands he can take care of himself. Or find out WHAT he doesn't like about it. If you like this sort of thing, and he doesnt... and it OBVIOUSLY bothers you, you are both incompatible. You should maybe look at moving on.

As far as smell... it doesn't always matter what you eat that changes the smell. Lots of things factor in. I have a sensitive nose, I have a lot of problems going down on a female because the slightest musty smell will get me sick... HOWEVER I let them know that. I tell them I will try and if I'm ok then will continue but if not then will stop. Some tell me not to try because it would kill them to know that they had any type of odor. They don't udnerstand I can smell much better then most and it jsut SEEMS stronger to me.

I literally can be sitting next to a woman and be talking and teasing with her... I can smell if she is getting hot.. it lets me know if I should take it to the next level.. its almost superheroish LOL

However like I said... move on.. he shouldn't be telling hsi friends your sex life that's immature.. you sound like you need a guy that is more focused and mature.

[peace-love-couture]

Not every girl enjoys giving blow jobs or handjobs,just as not every guy enjoys going down on chicks or fingering chicks.It's a preference,you shouldn't judge him for that nor can you be mad at him for it.

Let's be honest,here,before all of the PC answers come,if a girl doesn't give a guy oral sex,she's a b*tchy,conceited,lousy,worthless girlfriend who deserves to be cheated on or dumped,but when a guy won't go down,it turns into "well he probably had a bad experience" or "it's unsanitary,you can get infections from it(I heard one user on here give as a bs answer)"

First off,sex shouldn't be used as a weapon.It's unhealthy,both partners should enjoy sex and want to have sex,and if you can withhold sex,you obviously do not want it enough.

Secondly,as for both partners being pleased.Perhaps,you both could incorporate oral sex a foreplay,69 may help.Or have a shower before hand and he could even clean you for his liking or he could *TRY* giving you oral sex while in the shower(Don't see how that would work).

If he doesn't like fingering or oral sex,you shouldn't pressure him into either.When it's a guy trying to pressure a girl,the guy is "selfish" "rude" and "not worth your time" Same should and DOES go for girls.

If there is no compromise and you absolutely NEED oral sex or fingering,then break up with him and find a guy who will meet your needs.

[toulouse]

So stop doing it to him.. I don't understand why you wold want to pleasure his d*** when he is acting like one.

He really needs to grow up or just deal with a less varied sex life.

I can understand if he has issues but then he should not expect you to do it.

Why would he say you should use your fingers & not ascribe the same powers to his ten digits - oh I'm sorry is he missing his hands?

^ ^

[katiesmuff]

I'd be ranting as I told him to go f**k himself and get lost. What a complete a hole this guy is. Find a guy who will enjoy you.

I would imagine that his friends would make fun of him for being such a jerk for not fingering and giving oral. Most any guy would die and go to heaven to have a girl like you around.

[Noist]

Cough me cough... To tempting sorrry =D

[MissBlondie]

pfff, I wouldn't put up with that. If he isn't going to return the favor I would stop taking care of him and take his advice.

[ArizonaRX]

I'm surprised you have the patience to last this long with that crap.

Hey, If that's his opinion and he won't do the things you'd like him to do "FOR YOU", honey, there are thousands of good guys out there that would love to do what you want.

tell him you are tired of oral. You think it's gross and he tastes and smells terrible. Also tell him that your "minute man" doesn't satisfy you at all and you'd rather just masturbate and have him go home for good. - Seriously I know this sounds harsh, but if this guy wants to keep you around, he will either do what you'd like him to do... or some other guy can do it for him.

Plain and simple.

[KindOfAGeek]

You should turn the tables on him. Tell him that he has hands, and he should use them too. Refuse to give him anything until you get some in return. Honestly, it king of sounds like he's taking everything you give him and not giving anything back. If he refuses to even compromise with you I think that kind of tells you something about how he sees your relationship.

[Longshot]

Sounds like a lot of sexual incompatibility. Time for long talks with Boyfriend or therapy or time to move along. One thing for sure it isn't going to work out if it stays the way it is.

[DirtyMindedInnocence]

Just stop going down on him. If he doesn't get it. He's an idiot. Tell him you don't like his penis. Or something g like that.

[sota13]

not cool. (him, not you!). your sexual relationship is totally one way and that's not fair and NOT healty. you want to be with someone who you have FUN with in bed and who satisfies you and who enjoys pleasuring you. if that's not something his willing to do, that's going to mean BIG problems long term for your relationship, and not just in the bed room. I can assure you that it's not a matter of you figuring out things to make you smell or taste better . . . this is not a problem with you. If your partner is frustrating and demanding and selfish and won't listen to you, it's something you guys need to deal with or things will go down hill. If he's not willing to talk about it you seriously need to think about why you're in the relationship.

[DaBuzzman]

Sorry for your frustration. What is even keeping you to him if you don't mind me asking? Also, how old is he? I'm sorry, he sounds childish, selfish, And just horrible in every way. Sex and intimacy should be shared equally between two. I'm sorry you should not give him bjs if he's not reciprocating to you. A real lover should want to please and get you off and add more fun and variety in the bedroom or whereever! I love giving my lady the attention her body needs and deserves. Simple as that that! You've gone above and beyond in the maintenance area too which is awesome so it's not you. I love a well shave or waxed and clean bottom. Also instead of food, you could try to use a safe oil, tasting gel? It's safe and maybe he would like that? Kama sutra company makes awesome products and we use their oils and gels all the time to make things more fun and pleasurable. But he just sounds like a jackass to me and you deserve a guy who will love your body the way it deserves in my opinion.

[FrishinPool]

Sounds like a selfish idiot who needs to get over himself tbh! Absolutely refuse to give him any until he cops on!