Did I pressure my girlfriend into sex?

Me and my girlfriend have had a wonderful relationship for about 2 years now. Were now 18. We've been having oral sex for about a year or a little over year. I only recently expressed a big interest in sex. ANYWAY She's the type or girl who is. pretty patient. I had to beg her a 100 times to like officially date me, instead of just seeing each other after a whole year! I know she said her "values" prevent her from actual sex but wtf she blows me all the time. I recently today again told her how badly I wanna f*** her. She was all like aww and smiled. Then 10 minutes later told me she's gonna get the pill and stuff. Im scared that my sexual impatience is the reason she is suddenly up for sex. But then again I don't know, she's really horny, and is the type of person you have to nag to get anything out of (relationship wise). Is she making her own decision? Or did I kind of force it on her. I really love her and just wanna be with her. But I do really wanna have sex. I know she does too.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • You mentioned that she blows you all the time, but what have you done for her? Maybe she thinks this will be all about you again and she's afraid. When you say she's really horny and then say she's the type of person you have to nag to get anything out of her, that doesn't seem to go together as far as I'm concerned. Is this a good loving relationship or what is it? Do you think she loves you as much as you love her? As I read everything you said it sounds like you guys don't match but yet you're still together. She's no doubt a virgin and really doesn't know what to do, and since you've brought it up enough times for her to know what you want and expect out of her, I'd not pressure her anymore than you already have unless based on your experience with her you seriously think this is what it's going to take. Do you have any intentions of marrying her some day? I'd say that she's finally coming to the conclusion that if she's going to stay with you she needs to have sex with you so it's her decision but brought about by your constantly asking. Just wait a short time for her to do what she said she's gonna do and see if that happens. But if she stalls again, don't wait too long to sit down with her when you're both in a good mood at your favorite restaurant and seriously talk about the sexual part of your relationship and what each of you needs out of it to make it more successful and happy. You need to find out what is REALLY bothering her and holding her back so that you both can be working on the right solution and not on something that's not even the main problem. Make sure to listen especially good plus be aware of her body language.

  • Dude I honestly feel like the pity party train just derailed in your bedroom harsh yes but that's offside man if she said her values prevent her from having actual sex you need to sit down and talk with her about what her values are and ask yourself. 1. If you love her or care about her, are you willing to respect her values and wait for her to be ready so your not climbing on her and go limp from guilt. 2. Are you being selfish and begging her in a sense? And lastly 3. If your feeling guilty and asking people about whether or not you made the right decision I think you need to realize what your not seeing and read between the lines.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Well you didn't FORCE her. She made the decision to go get on the pill. Yeah you probably encouraged her to make the decision you did, but frankly if it's been 2 years and your just starting to ask for it, your way ahead of the pack in the polite department. Most guys are not that patient. Don't feel bad your just expressing your feelings, but maybe next time you mention wanting to having sex you should refer to it as "wanting to make love to her." It might be a little easier to hear for a virgin. Oh and like a few of them down there said, use a condom as well as the birth control, at least for the first couple months just to make sure. Take Care and Good Luck.

  • It sounds like you did push her somewhat, but she did ultimately make the choice on her own. I don't know exactly what her values are, but if you care about her, then you won't push her to do something that she is going to feel guilty about later. It's not something that can be undone, so make sure that she knows that she doesn't -have- to do it if she doesn't want to. At the very worst, she'll be really, really pleased with you for being so sweet and understanding.

  • You didn't force her but you definitely made her think that maybe it was time with all of your begging! Maybe to put your mind at ease you should talk to her about it without saying anything like "i'm so horny", more like would she feel comfortable having sex soon etc. When you're saying how you feel in the present (the hornyness) with her in a WAY you are kind of pushing her. Don't bring your feelings into it, find out how she feels about it!

  • haha thats cute

    you sound so horny.

    it seems like you "forced" her a little. but its ok.

    Regardless of what we say, its not going to take that guilty feeling away, so I suggest, after she starts taking the pill, DONT initiate.

    Wait for her to make the move. then you won't feel so guilty, and then you can smile and think. game on ;)

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Nah, I don't think you forced her. I think she wants to do it too. It's normal for a guy to be kind of a driving force behind stuff like this. I'm sure she wants to please you, but I also think she's interested too.

  • haha, well don't get too impatient. You have to take birth control for I believe a month before it actually works.

    • Jarett, have I ever told you that you are my sooperhero?

    • Haha, why is that?

    • The gyno recommends that you use a backup method (usually condoms) for the first month to three months, depending on what pill you're on. It takes time for the hormones to become regulated as her body adjusts to the pill, so during the first month she could still be fertile.

  • Well, you need to talk to her about it. Just sit her down, no pressure, and ask her. Make sure she knows that you only want to have sex if she wants it, too, not just because you want to. Don't do anything before she's ready, because she could really resent you for it later on.

  • you kinda did push her into it in the end its her move but you made it very clear what you want and she seems to want to take care of you like many girls they want to keep there man happy especially in that area

  • 2 years?

    Dude, you gotta test drive before you purchase.