Asking your trusting guy friend to take your virginity?

[Anonymous]

Before you judge and say the whole "wait til you're married, or don't you wanna lose it to someone special, just wait, be in love" etc. I've thought about this for a very long time. I'm not here to hear those answers. I'm 22. A virgin. I have a really good guy friend, he's trustworthy, and I want to experience this with him. I want to lose my virginity to him and I'm not looking to be in a relationship, not now and not in the future with this guy necessarily. This has been affecting me and I need to take care of this yearning. This feels right. I know I want to do this. I just don't know how to approach it with him. I THINK he's had feelings for me in the past; he's never told me, I just sort of caught on. Anywho, please help! Thanks in advance.

[Panopticus]

I have no wish to moralise on the "Wait until marriage" line - when and who you lose your virginity to is your business alone. My concern is for the way you say "I'm not looking to be in a relationship, not now and not in the future with this guy necessarily" and then a few sentences later you say you think he has had feelings for you.

Any sexual engagement between two thinking, feeling people has a reaction from both parties and it is not something you can second guess. A single deep kiss can turn us upside down - how much more an orgasm that introduces us to the world of the sexually experienced. This may change both of you but not in the way you both hope.

There is the real possibility that in retrospect your friend may feel that he has been used ... and if he has indeed had feelings for you that may really hurt.

I would think just as much about this man's feelings and the effect on him as your own needs, it is a long time since sex and love were held to be indivisible but we still associate sex with integrity and self respect ... there are fine lines we cross at our peril.

Apart from all this I hope your first sexual experience is special and fulfilling, whoever it is with. Good luck!

[GIntrovert]

He might want more afterward, you must consider his feelings as well and make it clear that it is just sex.

Just ask him do you want to have sex a X time and at X place (not right away or on the same day - unless he wants to, it might freak him out a little if he isn't experienced, give him time to think about it..)

[Annia]

this sort of thing could be great for you two or destroy the friendship you have. Sex (especially your first time) has emotions associated with it always. You may begin to have feelings for him or he will start to want it to mean more than intended, especially if you think he may have feelings for you already. Just talk with him about it, be completely open and make sure you both are on the same page before you go that route.

[Julia_Dorst]

I'd say, be sure this won't ruin your friendship!

If that's out of the way; just talk to him. If he's trustworthy and everything he'll keep it to himself. Tell him what exactly you expect if he were to say yes (as in, I don't want a relationship with you). In my opinion honesty is the awnser here!

And if all else fails; get wasted together xD

Good luck!

[katiesmuff]

I see nothing wrong with your idea. You just need to talk with him and come right out and tell him that it would be your pleasure to have him take your virginity! Talk with him a bit about how you guys want to do it with some oral etc, but make it peasurable for the both of you.

[Gregs]

I never understood why virginity is something so important to people, what you want to do just sounds strange to me. I don't want to **** block your friend or anything... just do it with whoever you want to do it with

[the-82]

Its because you always member the person you gave it to, so its something special your giving away

[Gregs]

The only importance put on it comes from people and the society. Do you really think animals remember the first person they have sex with? (maybe the ones that get eaten right after sex) And the first time is usually terrible anyway and especially for the girl, doesn't it even hurt? all the more reason to get rid of it as soon as possible

[lovehatesme]

Damn where can I find girls like you. I always want a f*** buddy!

[Anonymous]

i think this is a good idea:) it's great that you've thought about it heaps, and better with a close guyfriend who's trustworthy. maybe you could start talking about virginity with him, and see where the conversation ends up.