I'm scared I'll never be able to have not painful sex?

[Anonymous]

Boyfriend and I tried to have intercourse last night. Emphasis on tried. This is my 4th time trying to have intercourse with someone, and the 3rd different person I've done it with. But it hurts too much, as soon as he begins entering me there's this this pain I can't stand, it's the worst pain I have ever felt in my whole life, even worse than when I woke up after major surgery. no guy was ever able to fully insert his penis into me, at all. And I'm so nervous too, my legs won't stop shaking and if the pain gets too much my instincts act up and i accidentally push my boyfriend off of me. I want to scream so badly but that would wake the neighbours, and i started just crying the pain was so bad.

boyfriend told me I should practice with something smaller like fingers or a dildo but whenever he tries to finger me i hate the feeling so much, it's not that it hurts it's that it feels horrible. That's just one finger, he adds another and the pain returns but not as bad.

my boyfriend is a really sexual person and I'd love to please him so much, I'm so afraid that he'll abandon me if I'm never able to have penetrative sex. He told me it was okay if I couldn't do it but I bet he thinks insertion will happen eventually but I don't think it will. We did orgasm through other means but I could tell he really wanted vaginal sex.

what is wrong with me, why can't I have sex like a normal person?

[Anonymous]

I thought I was the only one this happened to.
I've only tried to have sex twice, the first I contributed it to loosing my virginity but it was extremely extremely painful and he didn't even manage to go all the way in, when he came out there was so much blood. The 2nd time it was just as painful and nothing would help I couldn't take it and wanted to cry, when he came out again after not being able to fully get it in there was still a bit of blood just not as much as take he first time. I think it maybe due to not being relaxed, turned on and lubricated enough. Maybe try using sex toys to slowly get you stretched and use to having something inserted in you. If it still is painful then maybe go to your doctors.

[GirlFromSweden]

I have a friend that had exactly this problem. She had to try so many times with her boyfriend and she described the pain as "someone sticking a hot poker up there". I think you should visit a gynaecologist just in case something is wrong. They could probably give some advice as well. Otherwise I think you should do some reeeeally long foreplay and buy some lube. You might be so scared of the pain every time now that you are way too tense which makes it hurt even more.. if you want to try you can even take a couple pain killers thirty minutes before, because they are muscle relaxing so it might actually help. I really hope everything gets better for you❤️

[xHoneyxBeex]

Typically, being relaxed and adequately aroused (enough lubrication) is all you need, even for your first time. It shouldn't be THAT painful. So if it's honestly the worst pain you've ever felt, I'd really recommend going to see a doctor because that's not normal and could be signs of a more serious issue.

[OlderAndWiser]

You may have a condition called vaginismus. It can be caused by some physical factors or it can be caused by psychological factors, but it can almost always be successfully treated.

[jacquesvol]

You might stop trying vaginal for some time and see your obgyn about it. Pain during intercourse often leads to vaginismus: www.webmd.com/.../vaginismus-causes-symptoms-treatments

[addictedtotea]

There are women who have this condition. See a dr, I've heard that there's a treatment with Botox that can help this. Best of luck ❤️

[Asker]

Is there any workaround if I can't see a doctor?

[addictedtotea]

I don't know. I'm not a doctor and I don't have that issue. Maybe try the clinic?

[Zendrya]

You should go see a doctor... I mean sex hurt a lot for me but I was still able to force the dick in me. If you have tried 4 times and it just isn't working there could be something else happening. Do you use tampons?

[Asker]

I have used tampons before, I don't use them now though. Also seeing a doctor would be near impossible as all doctors here don't speak any of the languages I am fluent in (being a foreign exchange student)

[mikey112]

slow and gradual foreplay first.. make yourself wet and him hard.. the process has to be slow.. it will take hours before you will be done.

[gnuoypai]

You need to talk to a doctor. These are conditions that this occurs

[Anonymous]

Sexual intercourse is overrated. Oral sex is much better.