Sexual Health
+1 y

Guys: If your girlfriend considers porn cheating and she's not okay with it, do you stop? or hide it?

I've experienced some relationships where the guy will straight up say he's not giving it up because he doesn't think it's wrong and we just ended it... I've had some where the guy just lies to me about it... Why lie about it? You can always find someone that IS okay with it and plus it's NOT right to choose for the girl to be with someone that is doing what she considers cheating. Do you stop? Do you hide it? if you hide it, then why hide instead of finding someone that's okay with what you like?
Updates:
+1 y
no one is understanding this at all ... All I said here is if a man is with a woman that is not okay with porn - why lie about it, he should tell her and go find a girl that is okay with it. Why is that so hard to grasp? Why do some lie?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • You wanna know why some of the people got confused reading this question, it’s because you are not stating that you and your man are still intimate… I as I read the question and all the other answers, I start to think that maybe your being selfish and narrow minded. Be nice to the one girl on the bottom, she is right. As long as he still turns to you for the “real” love and affection, why do you think it’s cheating? If you were my girlfriend, I would tell you good luck finding a man that will give it up for you because you classify it as cheating(thats your logic not mine and obvious not many other girls feel the same way. I would just leave you. I don’t have time for petty drama like this. This is minor and you’re getting mad? How will you react to other things that has to do with men being men?

    Now that I have gotten that off my chest. Let’s help you understand something. Masturbation to guys is like brushing your teeth every day. Yes, I have a hot girlfriend I can turn to when I want to but understand that when we both are together I feel the need to help you reach your climax too. So it’s fun and I feel like the man when we both are finished. But when you are not there and it’s all about me and I’m alone, sometimes I just want to get a quick one out and be done with it and go on with my day. I look at the mags because it speeds up the process. If you consider it cheating, think about this; I picture “fake girls” when we are together, would you rather me think of someone I work with or a past girlfriend? Don’t even lie to me and say you don’t or haven’t pictured someone else when you are with a guy… and keep in mind masturbating is all about me, not you! This has nothing to do with you, but that’s what’s bothering you. That comes off as controlling. Think about that ok.

    So what I get out of this is you would rather me be sexually frustrated with myself and walk around with bluballs because you, think I’m cheating... yea good luck with that.

    • You are the selfish one.... too damn lazy to wanna bother with getting your girl off. And NO - I HONESTLY have NEVER picturpictured anyone else while with my man - that is disgustingly rude. You are more concerned with yourself than anyone..... and FYI - guys that have sex with someone in person still are intimate with the one they're supposed to be faithful with as well. Doesn't make it anymore okay. And my man HAS given it up.... I'm p*ssed at the men in my past that lied & any others that lie

    • So be thankful that you have a man that gave it up. Lucky you. There is no need to lash out on the ones that don't agree with you. If you have a "good" man what difference does it make if others do it? I'd rather be selfish and keep my balls, rather than hand it over to someone with a dirty attitude like you.

    • Stop judging people like your better than them. Your not. No one is. You can disagree with us but we can't disagree with you? I see how it is. It's a one way street with you. To appreciate a man you need to understand them first. I can say I only have eyes for you but, that just makes me a liar... I'm being honest.

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  • What counts as porn? Playboy? Sports Illustrated swim suit issue? Are you just talking about hardcore porn?

    • All of that really. beating off to the thought of another woman in general. if your girl provides you with tons of sexy naughty pics in variety of lingerie and poses and even makes video for you and with you.... would you be fine without ever looking at or thinking about another girl sexually.... be completely devoted to only her sexually?

    • Not looking at another woman sexually is impossible. It's what guys do. Being able to refrain from touching themselves while looking at other women I think is quite possible. I've answered on a few of these and I'm pretty sure you're the same person who posted them all. Reading all of them makes me have a better understanding of what you mean. Walking down the magazine isle and seeing a half naked woman on the cover is going to get a reaction out of a guy.

    • Is your guy suppose to lie and say "I don't think Angelina Jolie is sexy" "Tyra Banks is ugly compared to you" "Ewwww Jessica Alba" Any straight guy who says any of those things is a liar. There has to be some grey area. When I think of a woman making this argument I think of a prude who wouldn't be any fun to be with anyway. This doesn't seem to be the case with you. Makes for an interesting discussion. I'm going to ask my buddies about this the next time we're hanging out.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I personally would rather have my man look at porn than look at other women or physically cheat on me(nor is this a form of emotionally cheating either, I think all guys have a porn stash).

    Looking at porn, girl we can't stop that. They are visual beings, let him look at video or a mag, here and there. I think it's harmless as long as he is still going to you and you feel the connection/love still(and as long as he isn't watching it while he is spending time with you. Stuff like that should be done solo and in private).

    If you are starting to feel like just a hole to fill, then that's when I would worry about it.

    Don't sweat the small stuff.

    • I can't understand why any women would be okay with their guy turning to porn instead of being with her. Why be okay with him getting off to airbrushed crap instead of something real? If he loves you.... he should respect you. OMG!

    • No where did "Clueless" say, that it was okay? "I think it's harmless as long as he is still going to you and you feel the connection/love still". And she is right. If I wanna watch porn I'm gonna watch it. If you rather me cheat on you with a "real" girl, believe me, I can! It's just a fantasy, your real to him. You just need a different approach. It's hard for me to be upset at my girl, when she is sad and crying. I feel the need to defend myself and run away when she gets worked up/upset

    • Okay, I never said my man watches it lol - he doesn't - I give him all he needs.... anyhow.... I was asking how many guys would give it up etc because people think guys won't and clearly there are plenty that will, and have. My point is that if you won't give it up - you should not lie about it.... it's not your decision to make whether she stays with a guy that looks if she doesn't want to be with a guy that looks. Do we all understand now?

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  • don't be so anal and controlling. 99% of men watch porn, even while they are in relationships. pick your battles. its not like he is going to strip clubs, flirting with other girls, checking women out in front of you or anything like that. unless you find a guy who is super religious and doesn't watch porn because of his faith then you are gonna be SOL if this is a major issue for you

    • According the men's answers above - you are wrong. and I asked a question to guys - not for girls to attack me and call me names. So F you.

    • I would agree with the 99% figure...if you want this type of man then you are fooling yourself that someone like that exists. He's either a lying to you...and fooling you or he's some how different than a normal guy. Relax darlin you're way to up tight over this.

    • 99%? More like 100% Any guy who says different is a liar.

  • I'd like to meet a girlfriend who considered watching porn cheating...and slap her. He's just looking and I think anyone would rather have their boyfriend watching some slut fake an orgasm on TV or on the computer than have them go out and give a slut an orgasm.

    • It's none of your business what other women think. Just because you don't mind him choosing a fake girl over you doesn't mean everyone like that. Again - I was asking men this question and not asking girls that don't know how to stand up for themselves to be B*tchy toward me. You also can go F yourself. *rolls eyes*

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I think its okay for you to be upset at this. No way are you wrong. On that note, if you are lonely and need some love, being upset about it isn't gonna turn him on.

    I would want you to be able to turn me on with no words. I wanna walk in and see my girl happy to see me and ready for me. I don't know how I would react to walking in to her with her arms crossed, pointing out my porn and bottle of lotion... I'd be scared. And then I would feel the need to defend myself...

    Sometimes its the approach my girl comes with that makes the difference.

    • No... I simply have always let any guy know in the very beginning that its something I'm not okay with and he can choose to be with me or watch porn, but not both. Then if he lies and I find something - it's over. But he knew that to start with - so guys shouldn't waste their time or mine. Anyhow - I have a guy that doesn't - been together a year now and no problems. I give him all he needs :)

    • My opinion is that you have a very distorted view of what life is all about. Yes you're have your convictions about porn. But the fact that you say you say its over if you find out he lied or you find something...wow...you have a guy that doesn't? really?? you are in a true fantasy world because there's the lie there. Sure he does and he looks at other women. All women look at men and men look at women. IT"S NORMAL!! you have a large amount of insecurities...sorry

    • Amen smokeadmiral, amen.

  • Just because a guy looks at another woman and appreciates her beauty doesn't mean that he wants to sleep with her or that his girl that he's with doesn't meet his needs. It's crazy to believe, for anyone, that when you're in a relationship that you stop noticing someone attractive. It's crazy and if you believe that you most def are setting your self up for disappointment and heartache.

  • well I wouldn't stop and I wouldn't hide it. If she wasn't okay with it I'd talk more with her about it and what about it I find exciting rather than change what I like or hide it and feel like I was "cheating" on her. I think having an open mind in a relationship allows compromise. It would be my hopes however that she'd take an interest and join in with whatever I was looking at.

    • What if you loved her and it really hurt her to the point it made her feel like she wasn't enough for you.... and she couldn't be in a relationship with you anymore unless you stopped?

    • Well I'd have to talk with her and know what it was that hurt her so much over it. For one I'd never ever let her feel that she wasn't enough for me or not good enough for me. If I'm in love with a woman then I'm all in and 100% passionate. What I've learned over the years is the when we try and change who we are to adjust to others we become resentful. If I loved her I'd make sure she knew it and remove those insecurities she'd have.

    • Well... for me.... if a guy loves me, he wouldn't want to look at other women. Why am I not enough to satisfy him sexually that he has to turn to porn or fantasy? I want to fulfill all of my man's fantasies and it would really suck if he'd rather look at airbrushed and altered images instead of being with me, thinking of me or looking at sexy pics and videos of me. Why turn to something with someone else in it, especially if you love the girl you're with? I don't understand that. ?

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  • i don't hide it. either she ca be ok with it or satisfy me enough to make me not want to look at it. that would be the only reason I look at it to begin with is I'm not getting what I want. so if she asks me to stop she needs to get busy in the bed

    • So if you only saw each other on weekends - but she sent you dirty pics of her about once every month or 2 and sometimes videos..... would that be sufficient? (and on weekends you had all the sex you want as well)

    • I would probably still look. one or two pictures of her isn't going to do the job.

    • Not one or two pics..... more like 20 pics in one email.... and if he asked for more, he'd get them. So would that be enough? And if not - would you tell your girl you were looking at the porn?

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  • No porn isn’t cheating, big question now is your girlfriend even having sex with you?

    If your having sex every day, then why would you want porn when you can have sex every night.

    Now if she is only having sex with you 1 time a week or less then yeah porn is fine

  • porn has been there for me since I started thinking about girls(balls drop)but I never had a girlfriend tell me no porn as long as she there. there should be no need for it but if it end up with saying never she has to have a good reason but just because she doesn't like porn because I'm looking at other girls naked an it not cheating because her nudie pics are just as good or even video:D an I might have to hide at first an if that becomes a issue she will just have to talk to me about it

    • U should never hide anything.... & if her pics are just as good, then you shouldn't give a sh*t about porn - but if you do - just be honest & let her decide if she wants 2b with you or not. You have no right making that decision for her. If she's not ok with it, you get to choose if you want porn OR her.... not both. Because she has every right 2have a man that respects her. & that's your opinion it's not cheating.... a lot of girls & some guys feel it is cheating. If you lie abt it, you don't really care abt her

    • Well I do care about her an porn for me is no where near what you think it is to me because when she is there I don't need it but since I'm in iraq an she feels shy to send me some nudies then hey I'm only jerking off to boobs p**** not the porn star I don't care about her I just need the boobs an p**** to get me started but if she send me nudies I would be jerking my sexy lady but an cheating is involving another person unfaithful but porn images or video of sexual intercourse doesn't mean cheating

    • Well,everyone is different. In my eyes, it IS cheating. It's fantasizing abt someone elses body.... to me that is disgusting and wrong. However... I understand in your situation that you will need visual aid. If she won't provide that, and she's ok with porn - that's fine. It's all based on the individuals & the relationship they have together.It doesn't bother me if someone elses girlfriend is ok w-it - but I hate when people are rude to me because I'm not. I have a right 2b w-my guy w-out porn in the pic.

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