Why does you man/hubby jerking off bother you?

Ladies, for some of you, you don't even give it a second thought, but for many others you seem to feel so hurt and offended that your hubby or boyfriend would jerk off. Why? If our body is our own, and the body of a man and woman are not the property of anyone else, why is this so bad? Why do you feel as though he is cheating on you for this? Typically (not always), men are far more sexually aroused then females are, and guys like to take matters into their own hands (sometimes just a quickie in the bathroom at work, school, the supermarket, home, etc...). How is entertaining OUR OWN bodies such and offense? Why is it so wrong to you? And how is looking at Porn (magazines, internet, imagining some random girl we may have checked out during the day) cheating when there is no way we are going to, or intend to hookup with anyone else? Why is this such a problem?

Thanks to all for your great responses. Stevedaddy, you seem to have a fetish which has absolutely nothing to do with the question I asked. Thanks, everyone else :-)


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't feel like there is anything wrong with it. I actually encourage it when I'm not horny and they want something to do. And its actually been proven that the more orgasms a male and or female have the longer they live. I think if a girl gets jealous/mad/sad/upset about this then there are more underlying issues that need to be discussed. Maybe she is self conscious like well maybe the sex isn't good enough so he has to do it his self. I would just sit down and talk about it and let her know that it isn't her. If she is still mad about it though there is no reason that you can't keep it a secret...


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 10

  • Well for me, I'd want to help him out ;) I would want us to totally share our sexual urges with each other.. This is probably unrealistically selfish, but if I would be sexually active with someone, a fantasy would be for me to be just the only thing that could get him off.. so he'd always come to me, and I would give him the loving service he so craves and then he would worship me for it... ;)

  • I have no problem with men masturbating or watching porn. But I think the reason women have an issue with their husbands/boyfriends doing it is that it might make them think that they're a stand in for what he actually wants, or that they're not good enough. Not rational, but that's what I've heard from friends and others.

  • i think its fine when guys jerk off. I mean maybe some women find it annoying because they could always fix their horneyness for them (wink wink) or something? but I think its fine that my boyfriend likes to jerk off and watch porn. its not like they are gonna hurt anyone by doing that. and as far as thinking about someone else other than their girl when they are jerking off that is fine because its not like they are gonna run off and get in a relationship with them. duh? its their body and mind they should have a right to do what they want with themselves. hope this helps! its a great question!

  • I doubt very many people actually consider masturbation cheating. That would be ridiculous. Also, a lot of girls aren't bothered by it at all. And a lot of the time girls have sex drives that are just as high as guys.

    However, when it does bother girls it can be because it can make them feel like you don't need them or like you would rather do that than be with them. It may seem ridiculous, but girls can feel that way, mainly when porn is involved. Porn can make girls feel threatened because they may feel like they don't compare well to porn stars.

    Personally I am not bothered by porn or by masturbation as long as it doesn't get in the way of the relationship in any way.

    • Would you be turned on if he swallowed it? And how often would you like to see him do that?

    • I would not particularly want to see him swallow it.

    • If my boyfriend would really want to watch porn, I'd want to watch him watch porn, then I wouldn't mind.... that would get me so hot.. hahaha

  • /if/ I were in this situation, I wouldn't mind it. Men do have higher sex drives than women a lot of the time, and there would be days that I wouldn't be in the mood and I'm not going to force my S/O into repressed sexual frustration because I'm insecure/ignorant. And I rather he released sexual frustration through porn than with some tramp. x_o

  • I am very confused and frustrated with this topic. I am a woman, and I would rather be intimate with my husband then get off alone. If a woman is willing to have sex anytime anywhere basically DTF whenever, even perform sexual favors just for his pleasure... your telling us woman that you would still want to jerk off alone just because? I don't understand this and am having a very hard time wrapping my head around this... WHY? I could understand if your wife to girlfriend says no to sex then go at it... but if she is laying naked next to you... ready and willing to do anything... you would prefer going into the bathroom and jerking off instead? Please explain this to me...

    • Sometimes a man just wants a release without having to concern himself with the other person's needs.

    • But I just said I am willing to just please him... not thinking about my needs at all...

  • i don't care.. its not like your hurting anyone

    • Would you think it was hot if he swallowed it in front of you? And how often would you like to see this?

  • If a man wants to be with me... then he doesn't need to be looking at and fantasizing about other women. That's F'd up. I have no problem with my guy jerking off when I'm not there, as long as it's me he's thinking of. I give him dirty video and pictures of me to use and he seems to like that and he tells me sometimes what he was thinking about me when he jerked off earlier and that gets me really turned on to know he thinks about ME when he's horny. If you can't even control your own thoughts - why should I expect you be able to control your actions if some girl asks you to have sex? Also... for married couples - you belong to each other, not to yourselves. Even my boyfriend said to me once when we were sitting on the couch and I just put my hand on him and said "I'm going to hold your balls for a while" and just kinda giggled :P he goes "you might as well, they belong to you now" :) it was so cute and kinda sexy for him to state that. I just smiled and kissed him and said "sweet, then I'm gonna hold 'my' balls for a while" and giggled again. I f*cking love him. lol. :D

    • Thats true. for real I feel the sameway

    • I'm glad that not all the other women in the world are brainwashed to believe what "society" as a whole says we should. I'm proud of my fellow women with a strong mind :)

    • Love this comment!!

  • I don't mind it , I acutually think it's sexy and it makes me in the mood ! But there are limitations like I wouldn't want a guy who is addicted to porn ,& I wouldn't want him thinking about porn more then me but otherwise I don't care

    • Would you be turned on if he swallowed it all in front of you? How often would you like to see that?

    • No I think that's disgusting , maybe a little gay lol

    • I agree that is epically disturbing and you need to get a hobby stevedaddy... a shiver just went down my spine because I read that question again.

  • I let my man watch me instead of porn and it seems to do the job. He doesn't need porn anymore since he got me.

    I don't mind my man masturbating. And he doesn't do it anywhere else than our house.


What Guys Said 2

  • Oh also I'd like to add that it's definitely a problem if they'd rather jerk off than have sex with their girlfriend/wifey. I mean come on, how f***ed up do you have to be, if your girl wants to have sex with you and you'd rather jerk off? -__-

    • Just wanna say - you're awesome! So glad there are men out there that understand. :)

  • Probably because they don't want us thinking about other girls while we do it.

    • Totally agreed

    • Show All
    • I agree jerking off instead of having sex with their girl is a loser but I do get that they might think of someone else while jerking off. its not like they are gonna hook up with the person they are thinking about. yeesh.

    • But if they're thinking of someone else.... they are "wishing" they could have sex with "them" instead of "you". isn't that pretty obvious? They are fantasizing about someone else - fantasies are things we want. If you're happy with your man "wanting someone else" - good for you I guess? lol