My boyfriend had sex with a prettier girl than me. I am so jealous.

[Sweety2087]

I saw her pictures on MySpace and she's gorgeous. I'm pretty but also have to be realistic I think she's prettier than me. I love my boyfriend so much but I can't believe he had sex with such a pretty girl. We were talking about our past sexual relationships and he told me he didn't want to tell me the names because I might know them. Come to find out it was a friend of mine's cousin. I don't know her personally. I just can't stop thinking about when he tells me that he thinks he's crazier than me in bed and that he's never had complaints. I can't stop but think that he had sex with her and threw her around. It makes me so jealous. All I can think of is him having sex with her and him thinking of her as the prettiest girl he's ever been with. I love him so much but I hate that he was with her. How can I forget this it hurts too? Has anyone else gone through this? How did you handle it?

[jdcpa]

So he had sex with someone that was better looking than you..

Is that what really bothers you?

or..

That the cherished idea of you being this super-sexy attractive girlfriend, has now been brutally crushed by the cruel, cold and heartless grasp of reality?

First of all,

He had sex with her when he was younger.. When guys are younger, all they want to do is have sex with the hottest girl.. It's a social prestige thing.. "I had sex with the most attractive girl, therefore I'm better than all of you other guys! Maybe it's my looks that are better, maybe I'm just richer, or maybe I just have the biggest d*ck in town.. but whatever it is, it's clearly the most valued.. otherwise, I wouldn't be having sex with the hottest girl now would I?"

As guys get older, sex becomes less about "showing off to other guys", and more about "making themselves happy"..

And as hard as it is for 99% of girls to accept this idea.. looks are just "one part" of sex.. just because you think she looks better than you.. or heck.. let's just say she does look better than you.. that doesn't mean she "is better than you"..

The whole relationship to the side.. if you just want to focus on this topic sexually.. she could be the hottest girl in the face of this earth.. and in his eyes.. she still could never stand a chance of competing with you.. even on your worst day..

Why?

Because a lot of things factor into the whole sexual experience for guys..

- The way you feel about the person

- How confident she is in herself

- How content & happy she is with herself (the way she looks)

- How aware she is of her sexuality & sensuality (knows how to be sexy)

- How aware she is of what she does to you, and how she can do it to you (knows how to seduce you and turn you on)

- Eye-candy

That's pretty much all the major stuff.. and (looks), eye-candy.. is just one of them..

But for all you know.. Miss Universe could have been inhibited.. had issues with sex.. thought she was ugly.. or not as attractive as you see her.. maybe she didn't feel comfortable being sexy.. maybe she didn't have the confidence to think she could be sexy or seductive.. or maybe she just didn't know how to seduce him and turn him on (as in.. more than just getting him hard.. but making him want to (*&# her & blow his load badly.. all thanks to her sexiness)

And if that's the case.. (which I'm sure every guy reading this is willing to wager is the case).. than you're just being retarded.. You need to snap out of it.. Smack your insecurities & tell them to shut it.. and start appreciating yourself.. and letting your boyfriend appreciate YOU too.. because believe me.. if he wanted to be appreciating her.. he would be.. but he doesn't.. he wants to appreciate you instead.. and I'm sure it's because he has better taste now that he's a bit older & more mature..

[ZenSpace]

I don't need to write an answer to this question, cause you already said it all. Great answer,

[Anonymous]

:D so he says that she has the craziest sex with him?and he had never complained ? so let me get this straight at first he wouldn't tell you her name but he told you the stories? I personally would never say that someone else in my past had the best craziest sex with because one the best sex is from the person you love (to me) and if he still thinks its the best sex what is in love with sex? her ? you? I can't tell . but telling your love something like that and trying to hold back names after the stories hmmm? I care too much to say anything like that to my honey bunny I don't want her to feel less of a woman to me unless I regret something I want to break it off but don't have the balls so I become careless an tell stories but realized I what I done I don't tell her who but she finds out anyways and now she's hurt and don't know what to do I don't think you going crazy you are having a normal reaction to careless idiot so even if my story I made don't match well you can get the picture of what could've also happen but they all have the same idiot an worst case is trying to break it off so makes you feel crazy . but best advice I can think of is talk to him let him know how he made you feel now here is where is tricky if he cares he can fix this but he's doesn't :/ yea... I'm gonna tell you how it can be fixed because he has to do it and I don't want you to tell him and if you don't care just ask me I'll tell you the answer because I had a problem like this before and if you need to smile check this link out link

[Anonymous]

I really think you should know... my current boyfriend has told me that in his relationship before me (b/c at one point I thought she was pretty from a pic I saw of her - but he said it was a "sucker pic" and she didn't really look that good lol) anyhow - he said he thought she was really beautiful when they got together... but throughout the relationship and how she treated him she started to be less and less attractive. It got to the point in the last few months together - he didn't even have sex with her on a vacation trip on her birthday! He said he was too tired or something to get out of it because he really wasn't attracted to her anymore. He ended it shortly after that because it was a wake up call to how little he cared for her at that point. He said he thinks she's incredibly ugly now and he hates her and she's nothing but a stupid b*tch and that I'm a thousand times prettier and sexier than she ever was! What I'm saying is... looks change when you really get to know someone. It's not just about what is on the outside, but what is on the inside will reflect in what you perceive later on. They are exes for a reason and he is with YOU. So I'm willing to bet he thinks you look better than she does.

On a side note - he shouldn't be saying he is crazier in bed than you. And why is he saying he's never had complaints? Did you complain or is he putting you down? Don't let him make you feel bad. If he's being respectful about it, ok... but don't let him be an ass to you. If he IS being respectful or trying to be when he says that... maybe just read up on some tricks you can do in the bedroom. Give him a lap dance in the living room (practice first to build confidence and grace) totally rock his f*ckin world and make him forget about all his past experiences. Make him wonder how he got to be so lucky to have such a sexy honey like you! :)

[Sachie]

aw, that sucks. I kind of know how you feel since my ex boyfriend is dating a prettier girl than me who all her friends (who were kind of my friends too) are much more approving he's going out with. it blows doesn't it? but, how do you know she's prettier than you?

that could just be you being insecure. did he say he thought she was prettier? if she really is, there's nothing you can do but try to forget and appreciate that your boyfriend is with you now. avoid the subject, show him what a great girlfriend you are compared to her by always being there for him, making him laugh, giving him lots of hugs, looking really gorgeous and being fun around him. she probably isn't, though. we all think other people are prettier than ourselves, when really we're all just attractive in different ways. maybe she has nicer hair but really bad teeth or something. right?

anywayys, just try not to bring her up around him so that he doesn't think about her too often. if he says he hates her, he obviously still cares about her or is mad at her, even if only a little (about something if he's mad) or he would just feel neutral toward her. try to occupy most of his thoughts (but don't be too clingy or force yourself on him), so that he doesn't have time to remember her prettiness too much. if that doesn't work, and he chooses her, still doesn't mean she's prettier than you!

just that they were more meant for each other. just try to forget it as best you can, I know it will be difficult. but try to occupy your mind with being happy and enjoying life, and the good things you have. it will eventually start to work.

hope that helped! I feel for you =(

xox Sacha

[LostXAngeL]

We are our own worse critics. But may I ask why you would discuss this with him in the first place? It cannot feel good in any way ever. You must be comfortable with yourself and secure enough or you will not keep him. He is with you now and you have no idea how he feels about you opposed you. But obviously he feels stronger or else he would not stay with you and he would be chasing her! If you obsess over this it is only going to lead to disaster and he will leave. Stay cool and just keep in mind he is yours now :) And forget her existence stop lookin at her picture and dwelling on it! We all have a past and its just that a past! YES sometimes we think about it but you shouldn't ever let it torture you! Besides who is saying he wouldn't think one of your ex's is better looking then him? He may not come out and tell ya this but just keep that in mind ;] Insecurities will reap havoc on any relationship and obsessing over a past love or interest is one that will destroy. Goodluck to erasing this from your mind :] And Enjoy the one you have now because he is yours and none elses!

[2doves4me]

I'm going through that now! wow! you totally know exactly how I feel. haha

well, I guess you just have to trust that he loves you more

and that he is with you now

and maybe get him to tell you why they broke up and didn't work out and what a terrible person she is

and then beauty isn't every thing

also, it helps to know that he loves you a million times more and he knows she was a mistake

and beauty isn't everything

my guy said that his ex (who is very pretty , and he was with her for 3 years before me), is a bitch and that he wishes she'd get into a car accident and die, and that it was a huge mistake and she is a terrible person and if she had kids, her kids would be the sons of the devil

well. That kind of helps, but I'm still trying to get over it also, and he's trying to help me get over it... but it's not working and it's ruining our relationship... but I hope we figure it out! If you figure it out, let me know! Thanks so much for your post, exactly how I feel... good luck to us both

[2doves4me]

And he keeps on saying he hates her and never wants to have anything to do with her again...

[Anthony4775]

That means he loves her, but is in denial about it.

[vocalheiress]

Hey yea! if he constantly says he hates her than consider it as a warning that he may not yet be over her =/

[2doves4me]

Really? or maybe he is saying that she's a mean evil person and he didn't know that... but he knows now... and that's why he hates her...but they broke up 6 years ago and he's never had a girlfriend since then... until me...

[FirstLastOnly]

It doesn't mean he still loves her if he's saying it for his girlfriend's benefit, which it sounds like he is.

[peace-love-couture]

No,when a person still feels the need to bash their ex,they still have unresolved feelings for the person.A person who has moved on,will not feel such a need,regardless of how "evil" the person was.She obviously hurt him and he isn't over it.Reality check girl;real talk

[2doves4me]

It's just p*ssing him off when I bring it up. He called her a vampire sucking bitch today. and said she stole all his video games, used him and never paid enough attention to him. That he hates her and wishes she'd die. ?? but how do I get him to prove me he loves me?

[Kiks_19]

Don't bring that subject up anymore it ovbiously hurts him andd he feels angry unless you go talk to her about it and resolve the issue there's nothing you can do about his anger towards her but only tell him to get over of her and plan to gout more have fun then once he is over her you can pop the question do you really love me? right now he doesn't know that his anger towards her is affecting what you think about the relationship

[jujujings]

Take it from me it's worse when cheats on you with someone fugly. That is tough to get over. At least he has good taste in women. There was something Miss Hottie wasn't giving to him. SO good for you. The past is the past don't think backwards move forward. Everytime you think about it tell yourself she must have really sucked.If he keeps talking about how great he is maybe he's insecure.He wasn't that great because the ex girls didn't stay for the sex part of the relationship.

[danni6888]

Look at it this way, she might be pretty, but she probably SUCKED in bed. She might have made crazy farm animal noises or just laid there and did nothing. If he's having sex with you, then it's you he wants to have sex with. if she was that great, he'd still be trying to get with her. hold your head up. she's not worth your time dear. Looks can be deceiving!

[Tigerlily]

Sucks doesn't it. But in the end, there's not much you can do about it other than to remember that that was a past experience and he's moved on from it. She may have been terrible in bed. He may not think she's as pretty as you do. He may think you're prettier. She may have been a really crappy girlfriend. Whatever the case, things are different, and he's yours now - just keep remembering that and try not to think otherwise. If you're really so worried, you could always just let him throw you around loads so that he's done it with you more than her =P

[Skylark23]

Beauty is skin deep. Don't let it bother you. He is with you now and that's all that matters. If he slept with her whilst he was with you then yes you can be p*ssed off.

But for now just enjoy your relationship and chill out!

Everyone is beautiful in their own way.

[experiancedinpain]

Perhaps your looking at the wrong part of the body in where the beauty lies. Apparently your heart is more beautiful then hers and that is why he is with you? In anycase, it just goes to show you, looks isn't everything. He apparently loves something about you more, embrace it, focus on the future and leave the past in the past.

[selfishstars]

1. Just because you think she's prettier than you doesn't mean he does.

2. He's with you, not her.

[elizabethcorpse]

Hey If he didn't like what you were working with he wouldn't be all up in yo jelly!

[enacuous]

Girl you are trippin. Just forget about it. Who cares how pretty she is. HE IS WITH YOU NOW! Looks aren't everything. In this day and age if you can't be with a guy who has been with girls before you are gonna be lonely.

[AlyssaLeexD]

Hi, I'm currently going through the same thing, I have been for the past 3 months, and it does hurt, but what I've been doing is trying not to think about it. Some things that I try to do whenever I start to think about it is to think of how many people have been cheated on and I think how lucky I am that I haven't been through something as bad as them although it feels just as bad. And then I simply do something that I like to forget about it. If your still going through this and you still need help, feel free to leave me a message and I can help you more, hope I helped.

[Reeses-pieces777]

don't be jealous, just get prettier than her and then laugh at them.

[lisa_username]

lol the guys who respond are such d***s.

i can understand why you would be insecure but you do have to accept it and move on. my current boyfriend is the most unattractive guy I have slept with (not to say that he's unattractive but the other guys were slightly hotter) and he's actually been the best in bed. I don't think about the other guys still because he is the one I love..im sure your boyfriend feels the same way.

[rihannarain]

Is this the type of guy you want to be with? See, people like you give a bad name to all women in around the world. How can you still love him knowing he has sex with another girl? Tell him F.U. and a find a better guy that won't cheat on you. Spare me "Oh but I still love him BS", listen to your logical brain for once.

[papercut272]

Yo, I think she's talking about things that that happened before they got together. "past sexual experiences" . she's tripin out about nothing....u can't change the past

[Thiezz]

If you had not been so quick to judge and had bothered to read her question, you might have understood why your current answer misses the point completely.

[Jonny_]

He had sex with a really pretty girl, but he also separated from her... Obviously something was wrong between him and her... No point worrying about it.

[blackmaxpayne]

im one of those guys who had sex with that one girl:

-who was 100% gorgeous

-who was perfectly hourglass thick

-who was bisexual

-who was also sexually uninhibited

-who also wasn't scared to be a woman and care

you can't get better than that. I dated her in 2006, I think. its 2010 and the worst mistake I ever made with my current Girlfriend is tell her about my past sexual relationships. every once in a while she freaks out about it, just like you but she becomes calm when I say things like:

"dont worry about it"

"me and 'her' will not get together again"

"im sleeping with you now, I love you and I'm happy with you... only you"

"jealousy is simply meant to unnecessarily destroy things that are good"

and I meant that. so what I'm telling you is, in very simple terms... if you know he's not screwing her now, trust me...

DO

NOT

WORRY

ABOUT

IT

and be happy you're f***ing him now! he ain't going nowhere

[Miss_All_Time_Low]

What happened with the first woman then ?

[blackmaxpayne]

She moved away to law school and I wasn't gonna be able to see her again. if you want to releive the aggrevation of him slamming this girl before, then become the type of girl he wanted. if you need detailed info, let me know because it may seem like that you may need sum help with getting her out your mind and making sure he doesn't go back. but I say again, if you have his eye, you don't have anything to worry about.

[CrazynKinky]

Shut up and get the f*** over it! Is he with her right now? No he's with you

[cherrybonbon]

I don't know what to say I was the prettier girl in my relationship and he kept me.. but seriously why the hell are you going to let this ruin your relationship.. no one is perfect maybe she had some messed up feet or smelly breath or heck maybe she even stank down there.. think of that.

[hannah_]

he WAS with her. He IS with YOU now. Be happy and stop thinking about her, she's in the past.

[martyfellow]

Don't fight it. Tell him it hurts you. Talk about ti with him and your friends. In time you'll find it's less important. Only time will take care of this feeling.

[JamieOfCourse]

Honestly, getting jealous over someone's past is a waste.

The past is over and this is now.

Besides, he probably thinks you're prettier than she is or he wouldn't be with you right now.

It's all about taste.

Yes, even straight girls have a taste in girls.

Like, you might think Megan Fox is prettier than Carmen Electra, but someone else might think differently.

See what I'm saying?

[m3TALchick]

Who cares? That was in the past. It doesn't matter if its your cousin's friends. You can't control your fall in love with and have sex with. You need to move your thought on your gonna be stuck in pointless rut. There is nothing to handle. Just be mature about it and get over it. Not trying to sound rude; just being real.

[KinkyBBy]

It's the past all you can do is forget about it. Nothing is going to happen with you thinking about it.

It happens to the best of us. Good luck