I feel like my boyfriend is trying to mold me into his perfect girl?

[Anonymous]

The following is an (extremely long) text I sent to my best friend about the situation. Boyfriend and I have been together for three years but this has only recently become a problem. He is my first boyfriend as well. I didn't change or take anything out of the text so you guys could maybe get more out of it how I really feel. So yesterday he was like kissing me and stuff like trying to get it on lol. And lately he has been telling me all sorts of sh*t like “oh you act like you don’t like it. Tell me I’m sexy. Blahblahblah” and I’m like okay that’s fine but THAT’S NOT LIKE ME. I would neverrrr just be like OOH F*** ME BBY lol. Like srsly? That’s just not who I am! I never said I don’t like it but I don’t know how he expects me to pretend to be some f***ing porn star who wants it every which way but Sunday. Because I’M NOT ONE. Anyways so that’s the back story. So now yesterday he was trying to like kiss me whatnot like make me want to. And I was just thinking about all the things he has been saying to me in the back of my head and I started to cry, because it felt like I could do nothing right. So then he was asking what was wrong. And I put on my shirt and sh*t and said I wanted to leave. So he didn’t really know what my problem was. He kept trying to get me to tell him what was wrong and I didn’t want to because what I felt like saying was “I feel like you are trying to change me into this perfect girl and I don’t know if I can deal with that anymore” but I said nothing and just ended up leaving. I was just getting really sad because I really do love him and I don’t know if I really don’t want to be with him but that is what I was feeling. He said “I’m not going to bother you. Just tell me when you would like to talk.” So now I have no idea what I am going to say when we do talk. So I need help hickoo really bad. Also another thing that p*ssed me off was on my b day, he like wanted me to like ditch my brother so we could go have sex. And then he was all p*ssy when I didn’t. And then he was like “well then we should tomorrow” and then he told me to “look cute”. I was like WHOA excuse me? LOOK CUTE? Now he’s telling me I need to look cute wtf. So I went into that day (yesterday) already being p*ssed at him. And then when we were out like walking around town and sh*t he like grabbed and squeezed my butt. So when we got back in the car (he has done sh*t like this before many times) I said “DON’T DO THAT. That is just like so not classy! That’s like what a gangster should be doing to his bitch or some sh*t”

[wanacot]

He's a young guy, he's horny and likely watches porn where he hears the things he wants you to say. It's up to you to tell him what you're okay with and not okay with, otherwise he won't know. If you communicate your position and he still doesn't respect it then perhaps it's time to reevaluate the relationship.

The birthday thing crossed the line. It's your birthday, you should spend it however you want and he should support you regardless. But again, he's a young guy and he's horny. The "look cute" comment also crossed the line.

Reacting like you did to him grabbing your butt is over the top in my opinion. Couples (guys and girls) always do this as a sign of affection. If he's standing there feeling you up for 5 minutes that would be one thing, but a simple squeeze isn't that bad.

What do you want to happen with your relationship? My guess would be that if things continue on unchanged either you're going to get tired of telling him "don't" or he's going to get tired of hearing it.

[Butterfly_kisses09]

You need to talk to him about that. Tell him that what he is doing is not okay with you. You can't just keep it all bottled up and not tell him what's wrong. Because if you keep doing that then eventually you're just going to explode and everything will come out at one time and that's never a good thing. I think you should just talk to him face to face and tell him that you're not a porn star and that's not who you are. Let him know that if he doesn't like you the way you are then there is no point in being together. If he really loves you then he should understand and stop acting like that. It's not fair to you for him to always be doing crap like that. Just tell him exactly what you said in the text message. Best of luck:)

[musicsweetyy]

girllyyy, dump him