I dressed up sexy for my man, but it seemed not matter what I did he couldn't get hard. Should I worry?

[Anonymous]

I'm 21, my boyfriend of 2yrs is 31. We have a 1yr old together. We live in his house together. He works, I'm stay at home mom. We've had our share of rough spots in our relationship. He cheated on me the first year of our relationship, wasn't there for me a whole lot blah blah blah. So on, you can probably figure the rest. But we generally have a GREAT sex life. Everyday. Maybe twice. They're might be a day here and there where we are to tired or busy.usually I start by going down on him for a while, turns to a 69 or him on top. Occasionally I'll get on top. But last night I thought I'd surprise him by dressing up in a little red outfit. I felt sexy and usually I feel really uncomfortable doing such things. I'm more on the shy side. But thought id spice it up. He had just got out of a bath... and I was waiting in the bedroom standing by the door. He was surprised... but didn't show much. I laid he down to start teasing him and he grabbed his pipe (yes he smokes a bit of pot) it kinda ruined my mood cause well I'm trying to do something here!, he drinks probably 2 beers a night as well. But usually these two things don't have a negative effect on us sexually. But I kissed him, his body, played with him in my hands, went down on him, and I got nothing. I was even on top of him grinding. I thought he would like the fact I was taking control. Cause I know him pretty well but... he started touching and kissing me, tried to put himself in me... and trying to get me off. I eventually worked him inside got him hard enough for him to get off. But I feel maybe he doesn't find me attractive anymore, or maybe he's thinking of someone else... its really hard for me to do things like that cause I'm not th most confident person. I think I'm a pretty good looking person. But I don't know if I should worry. I feel its my fault. I don't want to confront him and hurt his feelings cause I know smoking, drinking, stress and his age could be effecting this but it never has in the past. He's usually the horny one who wants it... I have even been sick the past few days so for the past two nights we hadn't had any sex. I feel he doesn't want me now. This is why I didn't ever dress up and start things... cause I was scared. I know I worry a lot about sh*t but I don't know what to think. Should I just let it go or confront him about it?

[Kakashi7111]

There is many things that could make it difficult for him to get "hard". He could have had sex with somebody else, could have been in a relationship with his hand (hahaha), or maybe you could have made him nervous or something. Try something new, or maybe he has some kind of fantasy that would really turn him on. Good luck <3

[tigerguy]

he prob inpotent either that or its the alcohol as they say druper drink or something like that, when was the last time he was hard for you

[Asker]

Well he's been hard before when he'd drink... and he only had 2 beers. He's been drunk, drunk and gotten hard. He was hard for me a few days ago.. like 3. It just seems lately he doesn't get as hard, or its hard to get him up at all... I just don't know is it me or is it him? N if I should talk to him about it?

[tigerguy]

Is this like after he comes hom from work, if so its not suprising, he is prob nackered, when he is nackered, down stairs won't work either, if it isn't just that then its either some fetish thing he likes that he's afraid to tell you or maybe its something emotionally on his mind because that could be why he can't get hard, if there's something sexual that he wants to do but afraid to tell you, check out his laptop or the computer you both have and see what porn he might look at if any.

[Asker]

He's always been pretty open sexually on what he likes and dislikes. More so then me anyways. But he usually goes for the soft core porn.... but he works hard 5 days a week 10-12hrs a day. And in his spear time he's working on our house. Building a deck, putting in a sliding door, cutting down trees etc. so doing all that and being the only one that works atm.... He just handles things so well I guess I just didn't realize he was so stressed...

[tigerguy]

Hes prob just worn down from all the work because when his mind and body is tired his **** will be too

[michiluv]

I think confronting him would be a better option just don't talk to him about it when you're upset because nothing good can come out of that. I mean just let him know how you feel and I'm pretty sure he will understand.

[katiesmuff]

My guess would be some new PU**Y from someplace else

[jackoff_4u]

he probably is having a relationship on the side, or taking matters into his own hand. he probably feels like you aren't that interested , or else you would be initiating it. I wouldn't worry about it. maybe try giving yours and his sex life a little break. what do you like to do for fun, besides sex?

[kak36]

i think we should hang out and see if its you. if you can get me hard and make me get off then the only thing I could think of is him cheating and you definately don't deserve that and if you can't get me off than maybe I can try to give you some pointers