My boyfriend is miserable if he doesn't get anal.

Question

In the year that we have been together, sex has been great, he mentioned wanting to try anal with me... I said OK because I was curious.  He was very caring at first, looking into special lubes, going slow.  I tried it a few times.  Maybe two times out of the many tries I was able to get past the pain and just plain old discomfort to..enjoy isn't the word.  Basically the only reason it turned me on was because I knew it turned him on.  But after feeling very uncomfortable "down there" for the entire day after each time, aside from the uncomfortable ness during, I decided I didn't want it anymore.My boyfriend keeps trying to do it, not catching on to when I move that area away from him or pull his hand away when he tries fingering me.  His dirty talk consists of how much he wants to do it and how he wishes he could just go for it.  I've told him I don't really enjoy it, and it's doesn't do anything for me, but EVERY time we have sex, he wants to do it.  In his opinion, every girl can like anal, just has to be the right person and has to be able to get past the whole "taboo" idea of it.  I've told him that's not how it is with me.Last night, we were having sex and I noticed it was taking him longer to get off than usual...which was more unusual since we'd been "deprived" for a few days.  He kept saying how much he wanted to do anal during sex, so when I eventually asked him if he "just wasn't feeling it" since it was taking him longer, he eventually told me it was because he wanted anal and that was the end of our "session"...Sorry about the TMI, just wanted to explain the situation...  We've done different positions, we both enjoy doggy style but now he says if we do doggy style using the front door, having my ass right there is just like teasing and he doesn't enjoy it and is just miserable after...  I'd like to work through this with him instead of just dumping him, like many of you might suggest.  Any  other suggestions would be great.

sweetheart18 · Accepted Answer

girl, no offense, but your boyfriend is not being considerate at all with you. think about it. you've tried it. it hurt and was very uncomfortable. but, knowing how much he wanted it, you kept trying it and letting him do it. even though it was really hurting you.

and now, even after telling him how it is with you. and yet, he is still really pushing it with you and even purposely shows how upset and p*ssed he is that he's not getting anal. I can understand that he wants it sure. but the way he's going about it is very selfish and not thoughful of your feelings and comfort at all.

couples try anal all the time. and sometimes it is just too painful for the girl. so the guy accepts it. and they continue with other ways to satisfy each other. end of story.

he needs to either learn to accept that you just cannot physically handle it. or else you're serioualy gonna have to just dump him. because its not fair at all that you keep stretching your limits for him, and he's not even appreciating your effort.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Is this a I don't want to do anal ever or I will do it once a month kind of deal for you? In my experience he is never going to stop wanting your ass. If you really never want to do it again maybe you two are just not compatible

been_waiting · Accepted Answer

He's a fucking dick.
Tell him if he thinks the ONLY reason you don't enjoy it is because it's "Taboo" he can let you fuck him with a strap on or he can shove a dildo up his ass, whatever fits his fancy.

TheManHimself · Accepted Answer

Yeah I'm the same way like your boyfriend, I really like anal sex a lot. It's pretty sad when you can't do it with your own girl.

What I do is we watch a lot of teen porn where little 18 years old girls take hardcore anal sex for hours. It gets to a point that she feels that if these little girls can take it so much then she can do it too.

It always hurt her a lot but with time she just gets use to it. I try to do it only once a week so is not like an everyday thing, it rarely happens more often than that unless I have set the right mood for it.

KindOfAGeek · Accepted Answer

I think you need to make it clear to you Boyfriend that it really doesn't work for you, you don't like it at all, and would he please quit it.  It sounds like he isn't getting the message from subtle (and not so subtle) hints.  If you have already done this, or you do and nothing changes, then he obviously cares more about getting anal than what you are comfortable with, which kind of says something for how he feels about you.

nicole21k · Answer

My boyfriend likes anal a lot. I give it to him on special days even thought I don't like it physically. That's the reason why guys like it. It's something that we generally don't like but do out of love for them.

DanielSan · Answer

he sounds kinda dumb. he doesn't care about you

stalinhornsby · Answer

In your spare time try sitting on a vibrator to losen your Ass ; it will adjust to the discomfort once you practice on your own for a while. In this fashion you have a better control of what you may accually enjoy. This is what my exgirlfriend woud do for herself to make anal something that she really, really liked and saved it for deep in our relationship and could trust me. Trust no one with your sexual desires ever when talking about sex keep it clean. Use lots of lube.

Oddjob · Answer

If he can't accept that anal isn't on the menu, it might be time for the two of you to consider splitting up.

chiefnavarro · Answer

tell him you don't like it and you find it disrespectful that he keeps crossing your boundaries. I think thought on his b day and Christmas you should give him anal if he likes it so much.