Anal Sex Advice?

[Anonymous]

So neither my boyfriend or I have had anal sex,he's the only guy I've been with but he's very experienced but we've been having sex for about a year now.Anyways,it was kind of my idea to have anal sex and he said he would love to try it with me.We have a few different questions: -He told me you're supposed to start out with fingers,is this true?and how long should we go about using finger until we get to the penis? -What's a good lubricant to use?I've heard of a few,but can you recommend?(we never use lube so yea we aren't familiar) -Should we use condoms or not? -And enema?How does that work.I've heard different things,some have said just use warm water as an enema,others say saline enema?Advice,particularly from girls?

[leatherjackets99]

First: I think that we as women need to discuss anal sex beyond and outside of the context of women being penetrated by men. This context is too narrow.

Second: To enjoy it you need: lube, patience, the right lube, to feel safe, self-awareness, more lube, a willing partner, a patient partner, communication, knowledge of your partner, curiosity, and trust.

Lube:

Lubrication is essential when you first experiment! If you are starting to explore this aspect of love making it is essential that both partners become familiar with the sensations of both giving and receiving this form of loving touch. By the way: not all lubricants are the same. I like sesame oil and Astro-Glide.

Relax:

My second boy friend introduced me to anal play when I was 20. The first time I invited him in to my bed he rather gently put the pad of his thumb over my anus when he was eating me out. I was quite startled and momentarily fearful by the sensation at first. But he did not try to penetrate me and within a few of minutes it felt normal. He varied the thumb pressure a bit from time to time and he moved his thumb around a bit. I felt good. Then we changed position and his hands went elsewhere. Looking back this was the turning point for me. I felt safe when he touched me back there and everywhere else.

Explore yourself:

Later that evening I tried touching him in a similar manner and he responded favorably. My curiosity about exploring anal sensation further was activated. Soon I experimented with anal penetration when I masturbated. Point of advice: Start small and use lots lube.

Explore each other:

The next step in my discovery process was reading about prostate massage in some book. That night in the middle of a restaurant I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a prostate massage when we got back to the apartment. I then had the dubious honor of explaining what I had in mind. He said that it sounded "interesting" and that he would like to "give it a try some time." But he was obviously a bit nervous about the idea. That night my boy friend explored my anus with his fingers for the first time. The next morning I woke up EARLY, my boyfriend was sound asleep (he was not a morning-person). I lubed up my hands and I woke him up orally and proceeded to give him his first prostate massage.

Patience:

Eventually I found the courage to have my boyfriend penetrate me anally. That experience was the most joyous loss of virginity of my life. We were relaxed, trusting, prepared, and ready.

[Anonymous]

Start small and work up, use a condom, lubricant would have to be water based or oil if you use the non latex condoms. Depends on the size of your partner, if he is big its gona hurt no matter what if he is small you will more likely enjoy it...experiment by yourself get used to it...

[LatinDancer07]

Anal Sex isn't something you rush into and that's why you start small mentally and physically. Make sure the whole time anything is happening that you are in the best position where you're most comfortable and relaxed. The two most common ones for this are missionary and doggystyle. Those two should give enough room and opening for you and your partner to verbally communicate during the whole thing.

REMEMBER TO COMMUNICATE.. If it hurts, say something. If you want it to slow, say something.

You should start out with fingers to give you both a sense of the area. It will allow you to understand the feeling and become more aroused and relaxed for the bigger object. Once you start with the fingers that day or night, you might not get to anal sex the very same time, but it's a start for the both of you. You will know when you feel ready enough to switch from fingers to penis. There is no rush, and if you aren't ready then stick with the fingers a little bit more until you are.

When you're using a condom or not (my advice would be to use one regardless), you're going to want lube...lots of lube. The anus doesn't have it's own self-lubricant so you're going to want to make sure you use alot, and by a lot I mean alot. Water based would be best for the condom and I hear Astro-Glide is great for anal sex.

If you're paranoid about something happening...like feces appearing on his penis, either take a shower with/without him right before to feel clean and fresh or only drink liquids before the time to begin the anal sex. If you do it, try a few hours before you plan on beginning the anal sex.

[spike241]

Yeah, he's right. Start with fingers. I don't know how long for, that differs from person to person.

Definitely use a condom and if you're going to have normal sex after, use a different condom.

Not sure on what lube you should use, just one that's water-based