Should I tell my boyfriend I've been sexually molested?

[Anonymous]

Last year I found out that I was being molested by my step brother and because of that I have not been able to truly trust someone. Only because me and my step brother were close for 10 years and I trusted him with my life and then he used all the trust against me. Now my step brother is back from college so this is the first time we have to stay in the same house together since everything happened. It keeps me up at night and I can't sleep. my boyfriend just told me he's in love with me, and of course I love him too but I feel like I should tell him about the situation that happened last year because it kind of keeps me from doing things sexually (the molesting happened while I was asleep and didn't know it was happening)...i want to be able to talk to him about it because he's my best friend but on the boyfriend end of it I'm not sure its the best idea...btw I'm 18, boyfriend is 19 and so is step brother... so my question, as a guy would you want to know that you girlfriend had gone through this? as a girl, would you feel the need to tell him? so that he knows everything about you? especially since this is my biggest thing

[Masiah]

hey..ofcourse you can tell him but I think you will face another problem then. It can be very possible then ur boy friend would wants you to stay away from ur step brother. And actually you guys are living in a same house so it is gonna be a big headache. So I think if you tell him then u'll be feeling secure for later but you should keep a proper distance from ur step brother. Just don't tell him come closer to u. You should tell him, not bcoz whether a guy wanna hear it or not, but because it is right thing to do and when you do right things,u don't regret it.

Take care

[Masiah]

hey..whatever you are thinking. But I think you should tell him, or in more appropriate way, you should share that with him because it's the biggest thing in ur life. I m very sure that if he really loves you then he would understand that. Good luck from my side.

Just have some courage and go ahead.

Take care.

[Anonymous]

I would tell him I told my boyfriend I was raped at school my freshman year and when I would walk down the halls and see that guy that raped me I would turn around and find a different way to class..it was horrid but my boyfriend told me never to take him to my hometown cause he will track down the guy even though he works at block buster I never go in there though I would still think of that day but I moved on about it still don't trust guys but I trust my boyfriend 100 percent cause he asks me things before doing them..and we always talk to each other on what were feeling...

[REALDEAL12]

Yes you should tell your boyfriend hun this is a very serious matter.If he loves you he will do everything in his power to keep him away from you.I was raped by my uncle and was always super scared,once I told my boyfriend I did feel a little better because I felt more protected in some way.All I can tell you is to live your life and avoid that sick bastard don't let him keep you up at night worring.Your 18 now go get some mase and maybe a gun like I did.You have the right to protect yourself.Your not a little girl anymore so now its time you take up for yourself.

[babymama2010]

I've been with my boyfriend a long time and we've been through a lot together. He's my bestfriend and I tell him everything, so I would defiantly tell him about this. If you and your boyfriend are really close and you feel comfortable telling him about it, then I think you should. But only if your comfortable with it.

[Life_is_odd]

I told mine about what happened to me and then it was easier for him to see why I act the way I do sometimes and the fact that I don't trust men (except him) Tell him

[Messianic_Monk]

I'd say you should. Here's the reason: there is still trauma behind what you suffered. Giving that context a partner might help them understand some of your mannerisms and make it easier to move forward.

I, myself, did not reveal the details of my own pain to a partner. I... didn't even realize it was pain until Kyle Beach (a player for the Blackhawks) went public with the Blackhawks' scandal that I had to rethink what happened to me.

It can help your partner support you AND contextualize your mannerisms and help YOU going forward. I wish I had told her about my encounters... maybe she'd understand better. In the end... we fell apart. I blame myself mostly. But maybe things COULD have been different if I explained to her this stuff. But then again... we fell apart before I even understood what even HAPPENED to me.

TL:DR; tell your partner.