How can I get my boyfriend to want more sex?

[Anonymous]

Seriously guys... he's 33 and he never wants sex. Sometimes it's maybe twice a week but it seems like at least 2 weeks or 3 out of a month he doesn't want it at all. I know sex isn't the most important thing but it does help. It's like he gets in a mood for about 2 weeks and doesn't even hardly touch me. I still get kisses and hugs but I want that intimacy. He says ever since he turned 30 he just doesn't want sex that much anymore... but he will still masturbate to porn. Then I came along and he doesn't do himself as much but he hardly does me. Been like this since I met him. Did get better since he got his own apt but still I want more. What ways could I get him going? It's getting to a point where I think it's me, like I'm not good enough. Please help if you can. Thank you!

[maggiemay]

It is a biological fact that a man's testosterone takes a significant dip in his early 30's. YIKES, just when we get started?

This happened to my ex, and it was a combo of being in a long term relationship, the hormone dip and him being flat out tired. YUP, it sucks. The problem is p*rn/masterbation is easy...and he can do it with any woman he can download or look at. You do need to mention this to him, not that YOU are frustrated, but that you find him hot, want to have sex and are frustrated that he's saving it for masturbation. If it's non-threatening, non preachy it may even turn him on.

Good luck

[aphrodiva__sexi8]

its probably not u. some guys are as aroused as others. you could try to stimulate him by flirting and try some sexi outfits. or maybe pop in a p*rn with him and masturbate yourself and maybe he'll join.

[wanacot]

Does your boyfriend work long hours? Not get much sleep? That could be why his sex drive is low.

Does your boyfriend worry about money, his career, family, the future, etc? That could be why his sex drive is low.

Is your boyfriend out of shape? That could be why his sex drive is low.

Or, your boyfriend could simply not have a very high sex drive.

[Asker]

Well, to answer your questions... yes he works long hours and weird hours, too, but he can get a lot of days off. Yes he worries about money, work, lots of different things. Sometimes he'll be so lost in thought he would get mad if I "interrupt" and talk to him... He is a little out of shape but not too bad. He does smoke, too.

[wanacot]

Well, you put all of that together and it explains his low sex drive.

[Asker]

I guess it does... but doesn't sex relieve stress? lol I just need some ways to at least get him going somewhat! Or I'm gonna have to buy a toy

[wanacot]

Well, if you can get him involved in physical activity of any kind (jogging, gym, sports, etc) it could potentially increase his sex drive.

[Asker]

Well the pool is taking it's time to open at the apt here! I'm hoping that will help...

[Howling]

I know when I'm working long hours, I did not want sex a lot. I still thought about it alot. Do you think he might be bored with the positions you have done in the past?

Do you know what types of things he enjoys when it comes to sex?

[Anonymous]

Don't feel like it is you. I am 32 and I experienced a similar drop in sexual drive. It did come back though. I think a lot of it is diet. I am fairly skinny, but had really high cholesterol and that was affecting my sex drive. Once I fixed that, It all came back. Good Luck!