Sexual Health
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How do I get my boyfriend to boink me?

I get turned down way too much. It hurts when I get rejected and it sucks because I'm still so horny (I have to wait for him to fall asleep before I can take care of myself). We have been together almost 4 years and I've only turned him down once the whole time. He turns me down all the time though, and I'm finding the rejection is getting to me. I make it all about him too, he just has to lie there! I'm sweet, I blow him, I do everything. I want it about 3-4 times a week and he says I am just a sex freak. I think its normal, but he keeps turning me down. (we do it about 1-2 a week) What do I do?
0 1

Most Helpful Girls

  • Girl you are cracking me up! I remember you asking something like this a week ago so this guy must be driving you crazy! Sounds like you are about ready to pounce on him when he is sleeping. ;) I've been there, let me tell you!

    I was going to ask you something I forgot last time I posted an answer, how old is your boyfriend? When guys age their sex drive drops off some.

    Well since you want it 3 or 4 times a week and you have it 1 or 2 times a week there really is only a 1 day difference on a good week. Do you think your boyfriend would respond to a schedule? I know some guys want sex to be spontaneous but some guys really do like knowing "Hey I am having sex tonight!" Maybe if you give him a set amount he will be more willing to met it. Right now it seems like he is getting his couple days a week and is happy. Maybe if you tell him that it will only take 1 more day a week to make you happy, maybe he will consider it.

    I wish I could say he should give you sex 24/7 but everyone's sex drive is so different. I think he needs to compromise and give you a little more but make sure you compromise and not always ask him for more.

    I know from my own experience I have overwhelmed men with my sex drive. As much as men love the idea of a woman who wants more sex then them, in real life, they don't respond to it well at all! Because they never realized how they would start feeling bad that they aren't providing a need for her. When I was younger I had more of a "What is wrong with you?" attitude toward them if I wanted more. But as I got older I started having more of an attitude that it's OK, we can cuddle or kiss and I'll be fine, and I've noticed guys definitely respond more to that. They then want to make you happy if you already seem happy with what they give. It's when I've seemed disappointed or let down that the guy goes cold on me

    • Ur right we do like looking forward to it all day then when we get home were so ready lol

    • Haha Yes, yes you are. You come in the door like a man on a mission!

    • Thanks this was helpful it think...

  • I don't really like the other 'girl' input so I'm going to put mine.

    Was it that in the beginning your libido was raging with each other and your bodies were new and you were both interested in exploring and having sex often? Then it started to fizzle out and you have it less and less and now to the point where you don't anymore? It sounds like obviously your sex drive is a lot higher than his but there's also something there that's bothering him. Instead of throwing yourself out there all the time at him, possibly try to sit and talk about these feelings with him. Let him know that this is effecting you and that you two obviously do have different sex drives. my boyfriend and I definitely do, and it's weird sometimes but we make it work. You're probably lacking communication. If you try to hold back from anything sexual for a whole week, see what happens. See if he acts a little differently or does little things to get you to give him attention. If that happens, sit and talk to him, if it doesn't, sit and talk to him. That's all you can do because it's something about him that only he can open up and figure out with you.

  • Leave him if you can't put up with it...there's no point in trying to change people and their habits, find someone who is sexually compatible with you.

    • Hmmm...a little extreme I think

    • How would you feel if your boyfriend left you because you wouldn't give him enough sex?

    • LOL, that would never happen to me...I never got any complaints so far.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Wow it's like role reversal from the stereotypical way of things. It doesn't feel good does it?

    Saying that you are a sex freak? This guy must be nuts. Like if someone is trying to give you free money and you said "you are a charity freak, I don't want your money".

    Believe it or not, there are prudish guys out there. I don't understand them at all. Can't really comment any further. It just doesn't make any sense to me. I can understand if he isn't in the mood, but putting a negative thing on it "sex freak", I just don't get it.

    It would be good to double check that he isn't getting his rocks off elsewhere, like masturbating too much, or maybe even cheating. But if you know his personality better, it could be nothing. It could just be "him being him".

  • I disagree with Tdieseler. Its been proven that its not always the guy that wants sex more. In fact, that's the way it is in my relationship. Your boyfriend has about the same libido I do and its perfectly normal. I can't say I know what to do about it and it is hard, but I'd say getting a vibrator is a good option.

    • I have one...he gets mad at me when I use it.

    • I just don't get where this guy is coming from.

    • Seriously, I can understand the low libido, but not letting you get off is really a form of disrespect if you think about it.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 5

  • either he is disinterested in you (sadly..it happens, reality) and is on the verge of leaving you, or he is already getting it on the side..have you looked into him cheating on you..and the possibility of him being "in the closet"? its rare for men to turn down sex, especially from someone who wants it a lot and makes it all about him...you got research to do

    • What is the longest relationship you have been in? because I don't think that cheating and/or wanting to break up are options. Disinterest very possibly, but I don't think he is ready to leave at ALL!

    • I did 3 years...back in grade school and it was unofficial...i lost interest as well..but I still kept the sex :) tho it sucked. what makes you think he isn't ready to leave?

    • The way he talks about marriage, and how much his parents like me, and he keeps telling me he wants to give me a baby (even though I NEVER bring up any of these things to him)

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  • Some guys just have a lower sex drive. I think 3-4 times a week is considered normal. How old is he? It says you are 25-29, so if he was 30+ then I wouldn't be surprised at all about a lower sex drive. In any case don't wait till he falls asleep to take care of yourself some time. Maybe it will trn him on, but at least it will give him the hint.

  • If you really want this relationship to last, and you're finding an incompatibility as significant as this one seems to be, maybe you should consider some couples counseling. It'd probably do a lot of good.

    • For sex? how would couples counseling make our sex life better?

    • Because sometimes the root of the problem with not having sex is something deeper. Maybe being emotionally distant, maybe he's pushed away because he's annoyed with you or insecure or there's a lack of communication in the relationship. Travesty is right and that's a very good idea if trying to ask him to open up with what's wrong or bothering him fails.

    • Their are actually a lot of couples therapists who focus specifically on improving sex lives, lol. It's a pretty common issue.

  • I'd like to say I don't think it is his age. I'm 30 and about to be 31 and I date girls younger than me and have yet to find a girl that has a sex drive even close to mine (hers is less then mine).

    • Well if your just dating then it is easy to get interested, you have new girls all the time. Try being with someone for four years and go multiple times in a night then.

    • I did with ex-wife nearly every weekend.

    • Sorry...just a bit skeptical...how long were you together?

    • Show All

  • I wish my girlfriend had the same sex drive as you. It's the opposite in my relationship and we have been going out 3 years. although I guess that's a more common thing for guys to have girlfriends with lower sex drive. The first 9 months was great, then it just started to get less and less and then she started to just seem really bogged down. I'm not pushing her to do anything, but I wish she could at least seem interested for me. All we do is maybe 1-2 times a month, if I'm lucky. She is constantly moddy/moaning and complaining and I think she just lets everything get to her which is making her not bothered about anything. Could be the same thing for your boyfriend, just too down about things and can't be bothered with it.

    Im really hoping she brightens up a bit soon and gets more interested.

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