Can a bad-sex relationship work?

Me (20) and my girlfriend (21) have been dating for 1 year. She is ridiculously hot, we get along pretty well and have much in common. The problem is the sex, since the beggining of the relationship she stated that she felt a burning sensation inside her vagina during and after intercourse. We firstly thought it was klamydia, but it wasn't, we used countless lubes and yiest infection medicines but nothing seemed to work out. Until her gynecologist told her she is too tight and sensitive, and my penis too big. She never had that problem with her ex (she's had only 1 sex partner before me, she is very inexperienced and awkward in bed) whom she describes as a micro-penis kind of guy, and i believe her cuz mine isn't that big afterall.

We have sex once a week or every two weeks. And i'm able to ejaculiate only half of our sex encounters, otherwise she'll interrupt it mid-way due to her soreness without letting me finish. She refuses to give me head and only gives me hand jobs if i beg her to do so. I've eaten her out countless times cuz she's unable to cum otherwise due to her soreness. But everytime i mention blowjobs she gets mad and says the same phrase "you dont have to eat me out you know". She says she feels degraded and shamefull when blowing someone.

I feel sexually frustrated, i fantasise about other women a lot and prefer blowjobs instead of intercourse. And of course, i have a very high sex drive. And feel like i should be having more sex and less awkwardness and blue balls.

I know she feels bad for not being able to have healthy and passionate sex with me. She's otherwise perfect, but i can't shake off the feelin of unfullfillness, i have wet dreams about other women very frequent now-a-days. I don't wanna throw an otherwise perect relationship in the garbage due to out sex incompatibility. But we've tried everything, and she refuses to try other methods, i don't know how much longer i can hold it up before i do something impulsive as cheating.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • After foreplay I would give her oral sex at the same time use my hand to stimulate other erogenous zoons. Soft background music will help, telling her how sexy she looks also, making her know with action and words will turn her on more. Little by little she will feel more confident. I see two causes: it can be something psycological (her predisposition to think sex with you will be painful) or physiological (maybe in fact you're big for her), some females has a small vagina or you're above average, either way let her go cowgirl to aloud her control the dept and movements, she will gain confidence. If sex frequency is another problem am both should look for a therapist to reach to an agreement.

    • Another thing, don't see her perfect because she is hot, focus on her way of been and if you see a future at her side.

  • You sure you are doing foreplay? Try spending way more time warming her up before you take the plunge. And maybe ease into it gently and slow for the first minute or so.

    • Yeah i've done that, she's often very wet, i know exactly how to make her horny and we often have 20-30 minutes of foreplay just to make sure. She still gets sore after 5-10 minutes and has to stop immediately

    • I would try less foreplay then. And only be in her for say 2 min. Then wait till next time. Maybe she will become able to do longer over time. Maybe fingers too. But just a guess.

    • If you are really into each other it's not the end of the world.

Most Helpful Girl

  • have her read : The gift of sex by Clifford and Joyce Penner, it helped me see the beauty of sex, i was previously grossed out by the idea of oral sex (giving) but now im not, im saving myself for marriage but it is a great book for prep

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 2
  • No I don't think so, not long term.

  • Life is too short for bad sex.

  • This won't work. Break up with her asap!

  • Uhm, she's NOT perfect, and neither is the relationship. And this is exactly why you date - to discern whether it's a match. in my opinion it's not.

  • Fuck her ass hole if Viginais tight

  • sex is not that important so it can work