Oral sex. Is it weird that I think it's gross?

[Anonymous]

I'm 20 but I'm still a virgin, I'm really shy and I would feel uncomfortable with having someone that close to my private area. Sex wouldn't be so bad because they don't have their face right in it, starting at it. I would feel embarrassed and that they might judge what I look like, smell like, taste like etc. I also wouldn't want to do it to a guy. It just seems disgusting to me. Does every guy in a relationship expect oral sex from their partner?

[sa230e]

I wonder if you're thoughts on oral sex aren't due to the (future) man but with your own feelings about your (and possibly his) genitals. You say you're afraid that a guy might judge them but I'm thinking you wouldn't feel that way unless you yourself have a negative view of them.

Were you ever told that your "private area" was dirty or naughty or anything like that? Do you come from a very sexually strict family or religion? Did anyone ever make fun of your genitals?

A lot of girls worry about oral sex for the same reasons you do but, when you think about it, isn't that part of the thrill? Say what you will about our culture being sex crazed but in public life the genitalia are still very much private. Few people see them. So for someone to see that part of you that is so private (and therefore you're made to feel embarrassed by) and have them put it in their mouth purely to give you pleasure, well that's a very generous, loving and accepting thing to do isn't?

Every woman's vulva is unique and beautiful. I've never seen one that was even remotely ugly. I think they're the best thing in the world. As for the smell and taste. You may not like your own but the opposite sex will often find such things erotic. Unless it's unbearably foul (in which case you should see a doctor), a man will probably enjoy your natural scent. But even if that weren't the case, if a guy was so attracted to you that you two are on the brink of having sex, your genitals aren't going to switch off his raging desire anyway. If he accepts you, he will accept your "private area" too.

As for doing oral on a guy: some guys can live without it, some guys can't. Personally I wouldn't have a woman do anything to me she wasn't comfortable with. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable for both partners. But who knows, you find it disgusting now, but that could change down the road.

[Asker]

Yes, well I don't know what my vagina is suposed to look like to be appealing to a man. what if its ugly to them? no one has made fun of my genitals, but I have never let anyone look at them. Not even a doctor. I feel that that's my private area and I would feel embarrassed showing it to anyone. The thing I find gross is that it seems unnatural to have someones mouth on your genitals. A mouth isn't made for that. And suprisingly no, I'm not from a religious family at all.

[myths]

It's one of those things you have to experience to fully appreciate. So long as its clean, you are not nearly as unique as you think you are down there. Not to mention all sexual acts are private in nature which explains why trust in one another is critical.

[Asker]

Thanks. No one has ever seen me naked so I would think it would be extremly awkward and embarrassing. It just seems gross to me, and I wouldn't want anyone to do it to me. I would feel like I was degrading myself or something.

[myths]

Well, and I'm sure others will attest to this, we all doubt our bodies at various times of our lives but the key to these kind of acts are that the participants should be mature enough to appreciate the human form for what it is- the good and the bad. Not to mention ask anyone who has had sex/ engaged in sexual contact if their views changed at all pre versus post virginity and I'm sure you will find that doing it makes a world of difference.

[Kaesch4]

i felt the same way about oral sex. I didn't want anyones ones face down there. I was afraid id smell bad or tatse bad and I finally let a guy try it and didn't do anything for me but make me really uncomfortable. I defintly didn't want any ones **** in my mouth. I felt it was degrading and just wasn't attractive to me.THEN

I met the love of my life and when we finally started having sex and getting into things I felt really comfortable with myslef and I slowly let myself relax and I reaaaaally enjoy it alot. I don't feel dirty or disgusting giing him oral.

maybe its because you haven't found someone you feel comfortable really doing things with. someone who loves your tatses and smells and wants to explore you. its such a wonderfukl feeling and takes sex to anothwr level.

or

it could just be because you just don't like it or find it attractive.

Somethigs to ask yourself

am I comfortable with my body if not why

is it something I can work on to build

are you a sexual person that's also something to consider exploring as well

[Asker]

Yeah I havnt met anyone yet, maybe I will change my mind if I ever fall in love with someone. I don't have much experience with guys at all, so even normal sex would be a big deal for me. I have never been naked in front of anyone, and I'm really shy, and find it hard to express my feelings. I am a bit self conscious with my body. Not that there is anything wrong with it. I just don't know what's concidered attractive to a guy when your naked (mainly in the private area) mine might be ugly.

[Kaesch4]

I was the same way. I was shy I still don't wair little bikinis to the beach and I'm a model now. and I think a lot of guys like shy girls its cute. genitalia is never pretty. you just have to clean it up and find what hair style works for you. once you fall in love you can lt go a lot easier. even do your first time in dim lights. and remember it doesn't go hi would you have sex with me. it goes slow steps that make you more and more comftable with each other so the moment is lovely not 2alien bodies

[peace-love-couture]

From a poll that was once done on here,most guys said the girl would have to be extremely good in bed.

But I doubt any guy would want to go without blowjobs.I mean...sex without bj?sounds kind of boring...I mean I know most guys do not enjoy giving oral sex,but taking away all oral?Eh.You think it's disgusting,until you've done it,completely different.

[Asker]

Ok well I didn't know oral sex was apart of a normal sex life till I read about it. I just thought it was something 'kinky' some couples like to do. I just think it seems unnatural and gross. I mean a mouth isn't a sexual organ, for kissing yes. But putting a penis in it seems gross. Or having someones mouth on my vagina seems gross.

[peace-love-couture]

The mouth is dirtier than a penis or vagina....but to each their own

[Kaesch4]

Mayve you should find a guy that feels the same way about oral that you do...people are all diffreent when it comes to sex so just because most guys like something doesn't mean they all do

[beans]

I think your question just clearly proves that you're too imamture for sex. I don't know how you expect to be pleasured during it , if you won't even let someone you love to kiss your private areas...oral sex is not kinky, it's a part of a normal, healthy sex life.

[Asker]

Yeah well maybe I am too immature. I havnt had much experience with guys, so my oppinion might change when I find someone who loves me, who I feel comfortable with. I didn't know it was apart of a normal sex life. I'm sure not everyone does it? I'm a very shy girl, who is a bit self conscious. I just can't see myself doing it.

[beans]

I think it's good that you see it through, personally I would wait until you are less conscious of your appearance, and feel comfortable in your skin before you decide to have sex. It makes it better for both of you. You have to understand though, the only way to enjoy is to comunicate with your partner about what you like and you HAVE to experiment to know what you like. Are scared that he might expect you to return the favour? If he loves you then he won't.

[dtaylor31906]

they don't expect but most guys enjoy it and a lot of guys enjoy doing it

[Asker]

Why do guys enjoy doing it to the girl? how do they get pleasue from that? wouldn't normal sex be better?

[dtaylor31906]

The guys that enjoy it are guys that are unselfish, the ones that know most girls love oral sex because it a diffrent feeling than penetration entirely. I love doing it because my girl is being pleased and she is loving it and if she is lovinf it than I'm doing my job and after I get down down there then we will have regular sex. Its like if some one ask you do would you be happy with a nice house or a nice car eitheir would make you happy, but having both would make it even better. know what I mean?

[AtotheD]

Im stil a virgin too. I'm 25 and no, if I had a girlfriend I would not expect anything from her. I think if you truly appreciate your woman, then there should not be a problem of respecting what she wants, including not going down on her. Eventually, and if she would allow me to, I still would want to go down. If he wants you, he should want ALL of you, even when its up close and personal ;-). That's just me though. You aren't weird for thinking its gross. Its just your preference, that's all.

[Asker]

Aww that's sweet :)

[ncsquirll99]

yea he is sweet.. exactly why he is still a virgin at 25. I am not making fun.. just stating a fact.. I am "sweet" too.. it sucks sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Nope not everyone expects it, you aren't wierd, because it is weird the problem is that it feels so good...