He can't come from getting head

[Anonymous]

This guy and I have been dating for about a year and yesterday he told me he doesn't really like getting head course it just doesn't work for him. Actually, he told me that he managed to come only once, when he was 18 and he's 31 now! Sure we tried to do it but it was before he told me this.. and he has never let me finish it! We always end up having sex (now I know why).. yes, he told me I was so good at it - but it's just what they say right... I don't know.. should I keep on trying? I really wanna be able to do that for him but I'm kinda afraid that the problem is little more complex, when I think about it he always wants to be in control when we have sex.. and that is kinda impossible when giving head. Any thoughts? Tips? Thanks a lot! I can be pretty stubborn when I really want something :D

[jackflynn7]

Orgasm/ejaculation is an automatic function, just like a sucking instinct in a child.

If you read my posts, I am Johnny One Note on this, but I'll apply it here.

Assuming he does not have a physical problem (they exist) he may need to be (re)trained. Intercourse is strenuous and there can be a performance anxiety which can bring him to the point and no further. That is exacerbated by the pain of a loaded prostate and stretched vas and muscles at the testicles (aka Blue Balls).

To determine if he needs to go to a urologist, if you are willing, play the part of an erotic masseuse, starting with (almost) non-erotic body massage and advance to sexual massage that includes heavy-lotion massage of the entire sack/penis area, teasing in down to (and into, if he likes it) a little shallow anal fingering. If he feels like he will come (but may not) ease back to let sexual tension/pressure build, but without effort/exertion on his part. just off the peak. At some point, he will be ready to "try" and that is when you give him a brief high speed power BJ including "nursing" and licking at the glans and rapid (lotiony) shaft stroking. That should bring him over the top. Perhaps it is not a BJ per see, but your technique that isn't working well for him.

If a pure-pleasure situation with no performance anxiety or strenuous effort doesn't work, a visit to the urologist is in order..

[l-hedoniste]

"he doesn't really like getting head course it just doesn't work for him."

What more do you need? Skywriting? A letter inked in blood? Listen to the man!

[Asker]

Haha, it's not that.. it's more like he doesen't believe he could come from a blowjob and that's why he has given up on it.. I'm pretty sure it is not a blowjob thing.. it's a question of who is in control.. he can't get off unless he's in control, but he told me he would love it if only he could come and that I could try if I wanted... but WTF am I supposed to do here :D The only solution I can think of is letting him basicaly f*** my face :D Does that still count as a blowjob? :DD

[l-hedoniste]

Sure, call it a blowjob. Why not? Some guys are just not wired to come from blowjobs, though, just like some (most?) women aren't wired to come from vaginal intercourse. Give it a good try if you must, but if you make it too big an issue, you'll help nothing and spoil everything.

[Asker]

Yep, that's probably what I'm gonna do... I don't want him to feel frustrated or whatsoever... like as if he had to cum.. and if he really doesen't seem to get anything from it I'll just drop it =))