He wants me to get an abortion... help (text messages attached)?

Question

So, me and this guy who I’ve been messing around with for over 3 years. No relationship, just a lot of sex and a bunch of confusion and stress. We had sex 2 weeks ago and he came inside me. I’m on birth control and I take it everyday at the same time but lately, I’ve been feeling really sick (stomach/ovary pains, muscle/body aches (in thighs, legs, lower/upper back, shoulders and arms), mild headaches, mild nausea, sore and heavy boobs, fatigue, etc.) so, I decided to take a pregnancy test Saturday and I don’t think I took it right, but it came out to be negative. I waited 3 more days and tested again Tuesday morning and it came back negative, but I looked at the test the next day and it was a faint positive line. I know I’m not supposed to look at the test after a certain time, but I feel really weird/uncomfortable and I’m thinking I could possibly be pregnant. My birth control “period” is supposed to come next Wednesday (in 6 days) and I’m trying to test again. I’m so confused because the white pill in my birth control pack is the pill that causes me to bleed, but it isn’t an actual period. I don't know when to test again. He hasn’t texted me since last night. He hasn’t made sure that I’m ok or anything and that sucks because I’m really losing it over here and I can’t stop crying and I feel like complete shit today. He hurt me yesterday and basically told me I shouldn’t keep the baby. I don’t want an abortion, I couldn’t live with it. He’s being a complete asshole right now and I just know he doesn’t care about me or my wellbeing. Pls help and give me advice.

jpmoore89 · Accepted Answer

My thoughts are that an abortion should be out of the question because innocent life takes precedence. That said, you are better off with this guy out of your life. Get rid of him! Your child does not need someone with his selfish "me" mentality as an example or father figure. You are already eons past him in your mentality and maturity because you are now going to be a mother and you have demonstrated that you see life as something more than just about yourself. You will grow and become something out of this that will make you into the person you eventually want to be in life. Yes, you may be scared now due to the unknowns and his mentality doesn't make it easier ether but this will give you reserves of strength similar to how lifting weights break down muscles which in turn builds them much stronger. You have the opportunity to shine and show your parents, family, and friends the woman you truly are and will become. When the time is right, you will find someone who will accept your child and you, adopt him/her and love/treat you as you finally deserve. Your situation won't be easy in the moment but it will not stay that way and life will become sweet soon if you will hold to your principles and allow yourself to learn and grow from this. I wish you only the very very best.

madhatters4 · Accepted Answer

seems like you may not be pregnant but it sounds like you should go to a doctor due to the persistent physical issues you mentioned

i think you need to prepare yourself for the fact that if you choose to have this child you will be raising it on your own. as this guy doesn't have a car i imagine that also means his finances aren't solid which means not much financial support. so if you are prepared to raise a child on your own and without support of a partner then go ahead and plan to keep your child

CurLyF · Accepted Answer

You should get a pregnancy test at a hospital. I believe they take your blood to know if you are pregant (Idk too much about it). If you absoloutly don't want to get an abortion, you still should find out as soon as possible. Also, *get tested for STDs*. Like right not.
If you are pregnant, I don't think you'll be able to count on this guy to help you out at all. It is *his* kid too, but he's making it clear he doesn't want anything to do with this, so you are on your own. But for real, if you start this on your own he's going to have to back the hell off in the future when he feels guilty, because you can't be playing with these things. And if you are not pregnant, I don't think it's necessary to say that you should never see him and sleep with him again. He is being a complete asshole. Maybe he was freaking out, but you are too and he should have called you later or today to upologize and see how you were doing. Like literally tell him to fuck off if he ever seeks you out like that ever again.

MoonTreexx · Accepted Answer

First step is to find out if you are actually pregnant, like many have already visit a doctor to be sure- you and that (maybe) child are the priority here.
Sadly this oh so fine gentleman doesn't seem to be perceiving it that way. If you ARE pregnant, You dont seem comfortable with abortion, dont let anyone manipulate how you feel about that. The best thing to do is give him time to think about his ways- he has been VERY inconsiderate but its a huge thing finding out you may be becoming a father- im mot justifying his ways but give him time and speak face to face as soon as you can about whats best for the child. After thinking about it properly and rationally he may actually want to be a part pf your child's life, and your child deserves that more than anyone.
If he still can't be a man about it then start preparing yourself for parenting but yourself.
Hope this helped💞

Cmasterson · Accepted Answer

Wow sounds like a winner there, the disrespect in his conversation to you. Its okay, just wait a little longer to take another test, you don't need him around you. Good on you for trying to keep him in the loop but seriously sounds like he'd rather not be.

ciitruskiwi · Answer

"we're not gonna have that home" For the sake of you and the baby I hope you aren't pregnant just so you and the baby don't have to deal with that asshole being the father. I mean come on, who the fuck calls a unborn baby a hoe?

I'd say going to the doctor would be better than just buying pregnancy tests. I might be wrong but I think the doctor is more accurate than pregnancy tests. But either good luck and I hope all goes well.

Jaye234 · Answer

Just chill out.
First of all birth control isn't 100%, he came inside you, which is irresponsible to say the least.
Wait a day or two and take another test. The cheap tests work just as well as the most expensive tests.
If you are pregnant, it's totally up to you what you're going to do, you can always get assistance and help. Or if you're feeling really lost adoption is an option.
Don't let this boy stress you out.

WildButterfly · Answer

He's so disrespectful. ... And he call u a "hoe"? 👀😒Wow. Based on these texts it seems like both of you are not stable financially. But if that's the case then he should not be fucking raw then🤷‍♀️. Some guys would man up and handle their responsibility instead of forcing u to get an abortion. Hope u break things off with this guy & meet a more respectful guy. But I wish u all the best with whatever decision u make.

Zxcvbnm1 · Answer

Ugh I am going through the same. Keep it! Apply for public assistance, like WIC, Medicaid, child care assistance and even welfare. U can get good stamps. If u need more info message me!

Sweet_Angel · Answer

take an emergency pll!! before its late! go to the hosp tell them any possible alternatives?

Nader95 · Answer

Well go to a doctor as pregnancy tests aren't always reliable then decide stop freaking out as u r not helping yourself or ur posible child so calm down think this through and if u decide to have best of luck u r gonna be a great mother

tatarus · Answer

You really shouldn't talk about such important stuff with fucking text message

sawno · Answer

First of all i didn't really see the line on the picture, i am fairly sure these are a lot more clear when you where actually pregnant. Second of all your hookup is a total asshole who clearly has no respect for you. In case you where pregnant and wish to keep the baby you should do a DNA test on the child and have them match it with his DNA. Make sure he pays child support so your financially not in this alone, other then that you probably don't want him to be the role of the father.

rocksongwriter · Answer

Step 1: (this is the most important) See a doctor. You seem unsure as to the quality of the test results and if you're even pregnant - so go to a medical professional! Have them administer the test and get the results. Then you'll know for sure. You might be worried over nothing! You might not be pregnant.

Step 2: Dump the boyfriend. Regardless of the test results. He's pressuring you into something that you don't want to do (abortion). You're open to children, he is not. So you two want different things. Plus, what happens if you're not pregnant now, but you end up getting pregnant two months down the road... and he pressures you into an abortion then? See what I mean?

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

You're best to get a test by a doctor their your best choice.
I agree with you abortion should be the last thing i know if
i got a girl pregnant i would man up and be father to the baby
i would never ask a girl to get a abortion cause that's just wrong.

Pink2000 · Answer

How were you able to put android emojis on iMessage

bsuguy20 · Answer

First of all that guys a douche. If you don't want to be a single mom you should abort it. No way that guy is going to take care of it. Make smarter decisions in the future

UltraGamer · Answer

Pregnancy test are also about a dollar or two they work just as fine. If your really worried then take a plan B pill but it has to be within 2 weeks of the last time he came inside you.

anu540 · Answer

He was in fear doesn't mean he don't care about u.

asya_güneş · Answer

never do that :(

Decentguy · Answer

sounds like a asshole future father for sure.\ if you wanna raise that baby, then work hard, save a lot of money for your baby, to give her/him a good life

WinterBlaze · Answer

Go to a doctor to get a more accurate test and calmly think about becoming a mother are you sure can you handle it alone?(not trusting the guy to be with you for calling the unborn baby a hoe) if you want to become a mother anyway prepare for the baby.. but being a single parent is hard but go for it if you love the baby. There are tiny chances of the guy trying to hurt the baby be aware about him