Could I be the cause of my boyfriend going limp during sex?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year our sex life is great. We have no complaints, we would have sex on a weekly basis. Until recently our sex life has declined due to being busy. I want to say in aug we got not so good news about my health that I have to have surgery and I was sooo stressed about it that I would go to him crying. Well we had sex 2 weeks after the bad news and during sex he goes limp. I freaked out cause I thought it was my fault and that he wasn’t attracted to me anymore. He told me it’s not my fault and that it would be from me being stressed that it was stressing him out. Well we had sex recently and this was a first ever since that episode well during sex he goes limp. I tried helping him out and it worked than he goes limp again. He assured me that it’s not me and that it would be from him drinking or the lack of sleep since he works nights at the hospital. I’m concerned and I don’t know how to bring it up to dig deeper into the question cause I don’t want to hurt his feelings.

[madgoat]

His initial problem was as he said - you were climbing the walls and stressing him out.
If the Op has not happened yet, he's probably still worried about it, and may see you as fragile and damaged.
It's also possible he now has performance anxiety.

[Asker]

Surgery has not happened until December I’m not stressed about it anymore as I was. However, if he has developed performance anxiety how can I help with that? Me being his partner I want to help in anyway I can.

[DanteMedici]

Stress has been proven to cause some degree of sexual disfunction. So don't worry, sort your problems first and the sex will get better.

[Goodwifie]

It happens to the best of men.
Don't worry about and don't make a big deal out of it.

[PoliceLivesMatter]

1.) Could be you
2.) Current situation has him stressed
3.) Medical issue, needs doctor checkup

[johnnyB3]

Honestly it's not your fault it's the fact that he's stressed so his mind can't focus on having on sex because he has these other thoughts at the back of his mind

[Leavesbound]

Most of the time when a guy goes limp it has nothing to do with the person he is with. You did not mention how old your guy is. If he is over 40 it could simply be a case of E. D. which can be treated with a number of options. Also guys who are experience stress or nervousness can have issues with obtaining or keeping erections. Various health conditions can cause it. If he has diabetes or is pre diabetic that can cause it. Alcohol consumption and certain drugs can cause this problem.

[kingmstt]

I can assure you it's not you it's due to a neurological problem he can go see the hospital shrink or it could also be a urological problem he should go see a urologist but baby it's not you

[averagejoe805]

One word: sildenafil. Enjoy!

[Anon-ymous1]

Drinking and lack of sleep, definitely. It happens. It's probably not you. Probably.

[MakeUSqu1rt]

I wouldn't be concerned about it at All! Sometimes when men get stressed out really bad or worried we can't concentrate. I know it has happened to me once before! No stress!

[mikebrett17]

No it could be other factors. It happened to me a bit. And if it happens it adds to the pressure

[Asker]

How can I help him to make him not feel pressure? I told him help me to help you and what does he want me to do. He’s says nothing but he think it’s from the drinking cause we do like our craft beers.

[mikebrett17]

For me I had to clear my mind for a bit. If I was worried it'd happen again it usually would

[Asker]

I find the situation difficult cause I want to make it better and it sucks cause I feel like this one is out of my hands but of course I still have the it’s my fault in the back of my mind. Even though he says I’m not.

[mikebrett17]

I get how you'd feel thst way. It's almost impossible not to think that at least a bit

[Anonymous]

Yes it happens. During the end of intercourse the man gets his full energy and during that time all the nerves and muscles becomes stiff. It happens especially in legs. I don't know if it is good or bad.