My boyfriend wants me to be more dominant?

My boyfriend wants me to be more dominate in the bedroom, I am not sure how to do that, I tie him up I make him feel like a bad boy but from there I don't know what to do, I don't want to take things to far although we do have a safe word. But the thing is I am not sure how to be the dominate one, I am usually the one tied up and letting someone have there way with me, so I was wondering things I could do, why he is tied up or even before, just things to spice it up...And things I can say he wants me to talk dirty, I am not sure what to say? Please help, I want to make Saturday unforgettable for him, so please help me out I don't know I need help.


Most Helpful Guy

  • No worries. Often times when guys say thing like "i want you to take more control" or "be more dominant" they are really saying they wish you had more confidence.

    Confidence is a tough thing to explain to someone who doesn't have a lot, so let me start by saying why confidence is the answer. If you had sheer confidence, you would not second guess what you were saying and things would just roll off your tongue. You would feel free to act sexually and not worry if it's going to be right or enjoyable. You would know what to do to please your man because you would know that whatever you were doing was enjoyable.

    That being said, the key to building confidence is to remember only one thing. You simply cannot do anything "wrong". Sex is an amazing thing, and unless it hurts (too much) it will be great. Even if you don't do things exactly right, with a little practice you will get better and better and he will get happier and happier. So let go of that fear and treat everything you do as exploration and adventure.

    Sex is basically trial and error for most people anyway, so don't fear the error part. Especially if he is encouraging you to test the waters. Just say at the beginning of the session "I'm gonna just try a few things, so don't tease me about it and just tell me after which things you liked and which things you didn't". That way you are free to experiment and try whatever comes to mind. He will tell you which things really turned him on, and then you just know what to do in the future.

    Good luck!


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What Guys Said 2

  • If he wants you to dominate him, it is a gift that you should enjoy. He will be aroused just by you having fun. As an example Strip him naked, get into bed and have him stroke and caress you. Make sure he does it slowly and gently. It must feel good, if it does not, grab his balls and squeeze until you get the desired results. Don't let him stop until you are ready. You are in control, and he must do your every desire.

    Next tie his hands behind his back and then think of something he has done to irritate you in the last week. Gently hold his balls in your left hand and start to squeeze as you tell him how he has not been cleaning up after himself. Then with your right hand give them a quick slap. You will see an erection. An added bonus is that he will think twice before he leaves things lying around, or whatever behavior modification you would like to achieve. Then grab his hair at the back of his neck (the most sensitive location) and pull him down to his knees. If you have a riding crop, you can give him a whack on his butt as you tell him to get to work. If he is not giving good oral sex, whip his butt, and tell him to slow down/speed up or whatever he needs to do. By telling him what you want, it will increase his arousal. The combination of pleasure and pain can be very powerful. Playing around like this can go on for a long time.

    When you are ready sit him down on a chair that does not have arm rests. Then sit on his lap facing him. He will be powerless to resist your advances.

  • Go all catty on him, scratch marks on his back and else where, slap him, get a whip, spank him, tie him up, and ride him...


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