Girlfriend threatening to dump me over sex toy

[Anonymous]

OK, little back story, me and my girlfriend have been going out for a little over 2 years, since just before we finished high school. Everything was fine at first until we went to 2 separate colleges. It’s about a 3 hour drive between us, and since neither of us has a car, about a $20 bus ride, one way. We don't get to see each other at weekends either cause we both have to work, tough economic times and all. At college we Skype each other every night, we make a point of it, and if I'm honest I can't sleep unless I hear her voice before I go to bed. We keep in contact, and with all the marvels of modern technology it’s not that hard to maintain a long distance relationship, except for the physical side. Just after Christmas a buddy of mine in a similar situation told me his girlfriend got him a fleshlight as a present(for those unfamiliar with it, it’s essentially a rubber vagina, or masturbatory sleeve as they call it). It’s not as good as sex, and sure as sh*t its no replacement or an actual person, but it does make masturbation far more enjoyable than just using my right hand, and I'm sure an ladies whom use a vibrator can appreciate why. I know for a fact that my girlfriend uses one when she's away from me, in fact she's pretty open about it, I have no problem with that and support her as a matter of fact, and she even suggested getting one modeled after my penis, one of those home do it yourself molds. But when she found my fleshlight at home, I never made a point of hiding it except keeping it in my drawer, she flipped out, I don't know if it was just the shock of it, but she threatened to dump me if I didn't get rid of it and said some pretty harsh things too. I guess I never told her about it, more embarrassment than anything. I really concerned and was hoping someone could give me some advice, thanks!

[cquinonez]

that is like the pot calling the kettle black...come on...she must be a young girl...younger girls make a lot of drama you know...a lot of emotions...but this could turn out to be fun for you if you two can compromise on the dildos...just think of the possibilities when you are together... :P

really...she was just surprised...women always act like this when they are suprised by something that they do not like...but you also have to understand that even thought you are in a relationship...you still have to maintain your own personal freedoms...she should be happy by the fact that you are using an alternative to actually going out and having sex with other women or cybersex...i respect you for that...because a lot of men would be doing the wrong things...but men are much different in the way that they are stimulated sexually...women can go without sex forever...men no..it is a need of release...try explain it to her...

[Anonymous]

Tell her you want her to select your next toy and use it on you, as you consider these co-play when not a substitute for her when away (better than a another gal & more satisfying = less gal temptations when out). Get her involved with this better toy than what you have...www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1351381-tenga-flip-hole-which-to-buy

[sivvi]

dude, I feel you. it's one of the most nonsensical double standards out there. my girl went and bought a vibe and tried to hide it from me. I went to get my shoes that were kicked under her bed and found the little instruction manual and a recipt from lover's package for a vibe there next to my shoes. so I asked her that day, babe, what would you think about me getting a masturbator toy? she said she would feel insecure, not tight enough, yada yada. she was obviously upset I brought it up. I then asked her "so why did you get a vibrator and try to hide it from me?" I was so pissed I left. I later told her either I'm getting a toy or you get rid of yours, rather than saying it was OK for me to go get a toy too, she said no, I'm throwing mine away. So, to sum it all up, she disliked the fact of me having a toy so much that she got rid of her own. it's a stupid double standard and I'm sick of it...

[clutch]

Sounds like an insecure bi..tch to me. You have every right to slap her across the face of this planet (not really though). She may feel replaced or like you were lying to her. It's not abnormal for a girl to react that way but it sure is stupid and annoying. I suggest you really talk to her about it (calmly).

[sinful1620]

Ask her "why is it okay for you to have a sex toy for when I'm not there, but it's not okay for me to have a sex toy for when you're not there?"

[clutch]

That might come off as a little too aggressive. Just ask "why did you get so upset when you found my sex toy?" then talk it out. you can later say "I am fine with you having them so I thought it would be OK for me too". The idea is just to be calm and not say anything that she might perceive as an attack.

[l-hedoniste]

Are you sure you don't want to take this opportunity to trade up to someone sane?