First-time sex tips for a totally clueless (and embarrassed) person?

[animeloulou]

Hi there. I'm 20 and I'm in my first ever relationship with a boy (21). We've been dating for 2 years. We have been progressing to the point of fingering. I am a total virgin and even though he has been in a previous relationship, he is also a virgin.

Basically, I just had a few (embarrassing) questions to ask you readers:

~ We've once gotten to the point where we were both ready and willing to have sex (we were staying at a hotel for a convention), condoms were on but when we got to the whole inserting penis into vagina business, we weren't sure how to do it - any tips?

~ Just wondering if there are usually much juice leakage during sex? I'm just wondering in case I have to wash my bedding etc. afterwards or not?

~ Does sex hurt a lot? Mainly because I've attempted a vaginal probe for medical reason and the pain was pretty tough - the doctors explained that was down to my lack of experience, however a part of me is hoping that it doesn't hurt as much...

~ Lastly, how do you ignore insecurity and shyness? I have a tendency to get really shy and nervous, so I would love any tips :)

Sorry if this is really long and embarrassing, I just need some help :)

[truthbeknown]

Ok, losing virginity and first time sex does suck, LOL! Nothing to be worried about, or ashamed of. The biggest problem is that too many people expect losing their virginity to be this wonderful, mind blowing and earth shattering experience that can never be topped! The truth is, virginity is something to fucking get rid of and never look back because it sucks, LOL! Having sex for the first time is like putting up a 6 man camping tent without the instructions! It is awkward, clumsy, nerve-wrecking, frustrating, painful and sometimes disappointing. It takes several sexual encounters to gain experience, confidence and technique. Your body also has to break-in and get use to it. This process can take a couple or few months. Once you get past this learning curve, sex totally rocks!!!
Ok, for your questions;
1- For sex to work, you need some sort of lubrication. The lubrication is normally natural from your wetness from your vagina and the lube of condom. Some condoms do not have lube, so I recommend using a lubricated condom. If you or the condom is dry, it won't go in. If you are nervous, your vagina will not be wet. Also, when you are nervous your vaginal canal muscles will not relax and you will be too tight for him to get in there. So, it would be best to have some sex lube on stand-by should you need it. For penis insertion, it is nice to just rub the head on the entry of the vagina and swirl it around with slight pushing force to gently work its way in. Once started, he needs to pull out slightly to help spread the lube around the condom and push in again. Each time this happens the condom becomes coated with lube from either your body or the lube you applied. You will both feel when it becomes too hard to push further and he needs to pull out a bit and try again. Once fully coated in lube it will slide in and out no problem.
2-Yes, there is always some juicy mess. All depends on how long the sex is or how much lube used or how wet you got.
3-It can hurt. Again, this depends on how dry you are, how tight your muscles are and how gentle he is. Your body needs to break in and become use to this. The walls of your vaginal canal will actually stretch and tear a bit. This will cause slight bleeding, which is perfectly normal and will continue off and on for several sexual encounters.
4-To avoid insecurity, stay partially dressed. Wear a sexy baby doll or camisole top and leave it on. Other than that, just time and confidence.

[animeloulou]

Thank you so much for replying!

[20yearsolder]

You guide his penis into your vagina. You'll be able to feel when it hits the right spot. About the juices, every woman is different. You may produce a lot of juice. If you are worried lay on a towel. Yes it could be painful at first but it will ease as you continue. Your shyness didn't get in the way of letting him finger you. He is probably a shy As You Are. He's going to be so nervous that there won't be anything to be shy about

[animeloulou]

Thank you for your reply <3 Hopefully our combined shyness/nervousness will cancel each other out~! :P

[20yearsolder]

Feel free to add me, I will answer your questions honestly

[20yearsolder]

You are very welcome. Feel free to ask me if you'd like. I will answer any questions you might have honestly

[zach3ry]

If you're unsure about having sex. Don't do it because it will hurt you. If you are sure about it relax and lube up! If he's a virgin then honey he'll last as long as you lol not long at all and you both build tolorence and pleasure together

[animeloulou]

Thanks :D

[Sugartitty]

Maybe it would help if you had him play with you using a dildo? Different sizes? That way you can communicate and get to know how things work. Also, don't be nervous. It shouldn't hurt at all aslong as you're into it and not too tense/dry

[animeloulou]

Thanks for replying <3 It could be something that we could try ;)

[goodmorning17]

Be confident... whatever happens u both will enjoy n remember it first time always. It doesn't pain so much. Enjoyy

[animeloulou]

Thanks <3

[Anonymous]

Shouldn't hurt.