Sexual Health
+1 y

I am scared of Penetration?

Oki so I have 23yrs old n I'm still a virgin.. my mum told me that it would be nice if I was a virgin until mariage as she was... but now I guess I am afraid of sex.. or more precisely of penetration.. I very sexual.. I have been intimate/ make out a few times.. but then when the guy wants to penetrate me.. I refuse... i say no. I contract my legs.. even if they want 'to finger'... I refuse because I am afraid they use me for sex only... Is there a psychological barrier that I have created? Anyone like me? Will it affect me later in life?
Updates:
+1 y
If I would * be a virgin
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • When a woman has vaginal sex for the first time, it can be a little painful. There may also be a small amount of blood, but this isn't always the case and usually occurs because the hymen has been broken during sexual intercourse.

    The hymen is a small piece of thin skin (membrane) that can either partially or totally cover the entrance to the vagina. A woman might already have broken her hymen without knowing about it; this can happen when playing sports or using a tampon.

    When a man has sex for the first time it shouldn't hurt, but he can make it easier for his partner by using foreplay, making sure there is plenty of lubrication and by being gentle and going slowly.

    Anal sex

    Anal sex can be painful for both men and women the first time, and there may be a little bleeding. There are things you can do to lessen any pain, such as a slow penetration and using a lot of water-based lubrication. Some people find that inserting fingers into the anus before penetration can help.

    Pain during sex

    Pain during sex is quite common and affects both men and women. It can be caused by a variety of things, such as an illness, infection, or a physical or psychological problem.

    Sex is likely to be uncomfortable if you're not relaxed and aroused. Make time for foreplay and try not to think of penetrative sex as the main goal, as penetration will be painful if the vagina is not lubricated. You can also try using a lubricating product.

    If you're still finding it difficult to have sex, there may be an emotional reason or anxiety that's causing problems. Speaking to a counsellor or sex therapist can help deal with underlying worries.

    We can not generalize.

    All the Best for your first time. It is enjoyable if the person is less nervous.

    • *Update :)

  • There's nothing wrong with what you're doing.. But you need to remove the idea of being afraid of penetration out your mind.. & It's normal to be scared cause you're still a virgin & never tried it before..
    And i think you should refuse when guys tries to finger you or just want to have sex with you.. & trust me.. The right guy who really cares about you, won't be bothered if your still a virgin, he will respect your decision cause he will just wants you for you, & when the time comes, he will try to help you overcome your fear if you still are afraid of penetration.. & he will wait until you're sure..
    So.. Don't think about it much..

Most Helpful Girls

  • no, it's normal to be scared as it is something you have done before. But if it makes you feel any better if it is with a guy who cares about you, and makes sure you're aroused before going any further it shouldn't hurt very bad, it is actually a very pleasant feeling. Just wait until you are ready and you won't be scared.

  • some girls just are not ready until they find the one. some of them do penetration only after marriage, even if you don't marry anyone the fact you are still a virgin doesn't change your life in any way.

  • Do you not masterbate? You need to know your body and I think you would benefit from exploring your vagina and finding what pleasures you

    • I do masturbate.. however.. I don't put anything inside.. I do everything external

    • Well, time to explore yourself internally, only way to ease yourself into penetration

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 10

  • Don't have sex with someone who will use you for sex

  • Probably not. It's a mental block. U can remove mental blocks.

  • Even when you get married, you're gonna have this fear. And the chances of your mom. being a virgin before marriage are probably pretty slim.

  • A psychological barrier, indeed.
    You might want to read an answer I wrote here: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1178062-losing-ur-virginity-how-painful-it-is-guys

  • you´ll never know if they like you for more than sex. only time will tell. that´s why your mom wants youi to wait till marriage. but then again waiting till then isn´t any fun xD...

    if you don´t wanna be affraid of penetration, do it yourself. don´t give him control this way you decide when to stop.

  • I dont think that is abnormal. Sex can drive anyone crazy and make bad decisions so being reluctant is okay!

  • yes, its on your mind, go and do it, otherwise this fear ruin your life.

  • U r great and listen to ur mother

  • I personally think later on in life you will be proud of yourself and when you do decide to get married he will be a very happy man because it is hard to find someone that is still a virgin nowadays if you feel what you were doing is right go with it

  • I think you listen to your mom

  • You won't be afraid when the time comes

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