Is asking your SO to shower/be clean before oral sex too much?

Question

I suggested to my boyfriend that we should shower or at least wiped down before oral sex and he was really offended by it. Whenever I think we are going to have sex, I make sure I’m wiped down fresh because I wouldn’t want him to experience any weird smell if there’s any from me.

So I was really surprised how offended he was. He thinks I’m applying unnecessary expectations on him. Is it too much to ask? I mean I don’t want to be smelling his pee when I’m going down on him. He understands that the butthole needs to be clean if I’m licking it - but is offended if I want his dick to be clean if I’m giving him a bj?

Do you prefer to be clean before oral? Is it really too much to ask? Or should both be equally dirty to enjoy the maximum pleasure? I only asked because I’m quite sensitive with smells and fear I will gag/throw up if I go down on him when it’s dirty.

godfatherfan · Accepted Answer

If it has been a long day or if I have been sweating a lot, then yes, I will always go wash the little guy up before. But every time take a shower? that is not necessary. if it has been a normal day, or all you have been doing it inside stuff, that is probably not necessary. There is a lot more going on with women down there then guys. But if it is normal every day... guys like that normal woman smell down there. It isn't nasty or anything and women worry way too much about it. As long as nothing funky is going on with your whoha... it is fine.

joemm · Accepted Answer

No.. that is a perfectly reasonable request. Penises (and vaginas) are bacteria farms… the cleaner the better for sure. I even go so far as to use an antibacterial penis health crème once a day. This keeps the skin extra clean and smooth and decreases the chances of me transferring something to my girl during oral sex. You should get your guy to use one.. they are awesome. Just google them and pick one up. Good luck!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I usually only go down on my boyfriend after a shower. I love him but good god he gets so sweaty down there and it smells awful, I literally can't do it otherwise.
He never goes down on me but I would make sure everything is clean down there if he did.

AthleticMom · Accepted Answer

HELL NO
although I have friends that claim they love to blow their after workout sweaty guy
No Shower = unnecessary expectations ON YOU
so maybe RETHINK this self involved guy
turn his loose & see what "quality" gal he gets for rest of life

Belorum · Accepted Answer

I won't give my boyfriend a blowjob if he would stink down there. Luckily he does care well enough for his hygiene so I do not have to tell him. Same goes for me of course.

RuthAnn1781 · Accepted Answer

I don't think that's a lot to ask, i mean it is your mouth that he's wanting to put his dick in

thedancingcookie20 · Answer

Both should be willing to clean down there beforehand, it's common courtesy

BigRayFromNC · Answer

No you are not asking too much because why should you have to smell the stench of his sweaty dick and balls and then have to put his smelly dick and balls in your mouth.

Simply tell him to take a shower before we have any oral sex or get the fuck out of my house. Sounds like he is a lazy and dirty bastard to even take a shower.

katiesmuff · Answer

This is a valid concern for sure.

Goodwifie · Answer

simple solution  no shower no blow job.  you are not being unfair.

slatyb · Answer

It's perfectly reasonable request. He's lucky you are willing to perform oral sex more or less on demand. Do you want to continue dating a guy who is too selfish to do this simple thing for you? What's going to happen when you really need his help?

Idontknow012 · Answer

He is right because you assume he is a dirty guy that doesn't clean himself, if he said that to you how you would react? Usually people tend to clean even more if they know what will happen later...

FemWorship · Answer

Lose this guy he really wants a skag whore to service him and not respect her

Kaylyne · Answer

It's certainly not an unreasonable request at all. Simply tell him you do not have sex with unhygienic guys, I'm sure he will get the message.

Nivinxus · Answer

Uhhh for me, I've always made a point to my past partners that I wouldn't eat them out unless they took a shower/bath and I'll never force them to do oral. If they want to give me a blowjob, I'd at least take a shower (unless they don't care), because I can't imagine sucking my dick with all that sweat and no shower taste or smell good.

vittle1999 · Answer

Your expectations are as it should be. Would he put something in his mouth that has been sitting under his underwear for 12 hrs?

Dargil · Answer

Title question: Not at all. Oral sex requires energy and dedication. It's only right that they/we set the table well.

sijal92 · Answer

No. We do a lot off freaky stuff and we have to feel comfortable before doing them. So yes! Gotta be honest. Last thing you want to do is puke during sex!

InquisitiveMan · Answer

Being clean before sex is should be automatic

AvgCdnJoe · Answer

Everyone is different, but I'm with you. I think sex in general is pretty gross and I prefer being clean before getting dirty, and then cleaning up again, or just having fun together while in the shower. I dont think it is too much to ask. I generally try to shower beforehand if I think that I am going to be intimate with someone.

maladeeh · Answer

boyfriend and I always have to be clean before doing the act. It should be automatic like people said

momo770 · Answer

I am pretty up on my personal hygiene, I don't give blowjobs, but I would imagine I would want him to be hygienically sound also.

Sparkzs · Answer

He's being an insecure man baby. It's common courtesy to make sure your genitals are clean before doing anything sexual. He probably took what you asked to mean that you think he's dirty. Just tell him to stop being a child and clean his shit.

MrShinyPants · Answer

It can take out from the spontaneity and excitement, but its totally understandable, because germs can be everywhere plus don't want the mouth on something that just had urine come out of it within the last hour without a wash. Plus lack of cleaning before hand could risk creating an infection or something similar.