Sexual Health
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I don’t feel any different after having sex for the first time. Did you?

So my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time last night. We love each other a lot and have discussed it a lot and felt like it was the right time. He was not a virgin but I was. I was so nervous for the pain and for it to hurt and he was so sweet to me and gentle. It honestly really didn’t hurt and I didn’t even bleed. We used a condom and I’m on birth control so we were safe. It was first time sex so neither of us even came. It was more of a new bonding experience. But like today I woke up and I literally don’t even feel any different. Everyone says sex is such a huge deal and it just doesn’t seem that huge to me. I feel no different. I feel like the internet hypes it up to be this huge life changing thing and I just don’t feel that lol. How was your first time? Did you feel any different? Thanks!
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Sex without the orgasmic finale is hardly worth the effort. Especially for women, it truly is the quintessential, bond-forging pinnacle of that act made even better that you both share such strong emotional intimacy together, but where it gets physical, do yourself a huge favor and let loose, so to speak. Open up and release! Don't be so nervous because it may just again ruin the psychosexual intensity of that sacred moment. Not everyone can claim such a stake, much less on their first time around. Moreover, this won't be your only rodeo, that is, so don't sweat it. Applauding the fact that you're both practicing it safely, but when you build up to a comfort level sufficient enough of doing it raw, it can make for a world full of difference. What's more is communication also. Not all women can cum through vaginal penetration alone and need other, more kinky shit done, whereas others can, but they usually have to "tweak the settings" a bit while discovering more about their own innate physiologies. So, basically do those exact things and you're pretty much set. Masturbation can help and foreplay, done correctly, almost never fails in greasing up a woman's pussy.

  • Good for you. =)
    It *can* be painful, but every girl is different.
    You might have already lost your hymn before the sex or be among those born without one.
    It being a big deal or not is also something that kind of depends on your psyche.
    If you feel really, really nervous then of course it's a big deal.
    With him you apparently didn't, he was fairly gentle and it worked out great. =)
    Keep experimenting.
    You've had your first time now.
    You two apparently know how to do it safe and feel a bit more comfortable with each other.
    You might want to try with the pill and a thin er or no condom later for more sensation.
    You might want to look into pompoir and kabazzah.
    And the two of you definitely should keep the communication flowing. =)
    Have fun experimenting! =)

    • Thanks! And nooo I was the most nervous lol. He felt so bad for me I was breathing so hard and squeezing his hand haha. He was like “it sounded like you were in labor” lmao😂

Most Helpful Girls

  • Maybe that was due to the fact that neither of you came, or really had a goal of making it an intense and passionate experience. The experience was anti-climatic for you because it was LITERALLY anti-climatic. Whether or not you're a virgin, your first time having sex with a new partner is always going to be a tad awkward. You're nervous of how the other perceives you, you're experiencing new "territory" and it's a big step in a relationship. Losing your virginity is a big deal to a lot of women, just because you had a different experience, it doesn't invalidate their experiences.

    Another reason why it could have have been a bland experience for you is because neither of you are that experienced. Neither of you really don't know how to make each other feel good.. let alone yourselves. That guy couldn't even get himself to cum for goodness sakes. I hope it becomes a better experience for you moving foward.

  • Yeah, we really do not put sex in the proper perspective, so we hype it all up in the wrong ways and not the right ways. Bet you didn't know that most women find it doesn't hurt or cause bleeding? I do want to give you kudos for starting out right with condoms plus a systemic contraceptive - you rock! If I had it to do over again that would be a big thing I'd do right. I say, no condomless sex before marriage is a good idea.

    You know why it wasn't H U G E !!! for you? Because you were prepared and relaxed, and what did you find out? Sex is an awesome bonding experience. Many people NEVER figure that out. That may not seem HUGE!!! right now, but in a lifetime of sexual adventures you will have, eventually you will learn you are a very lucky person to have figured some of this wise stuff out BEFORE you made a heartbreaking mistake. You're so far ahead of the game.

  • After my first time I was pretty much fifty-fifty between "gaaah I just had sex I'm not a virgin anymore!" and "wait, that was it? This is what people obsess so much over?"

    But no, I didn't feel any different. Not really. No huge life-altering revelations or big changes. I didn't wake up and suddenly know the secrets of sex, and the number of secret societies that contacted me and said "Dina M, now that you've had sex, you are ready to evolve into the woman you were meant to be!" was surprisingly low.

    I still didn't even know whether I was actually in love with the guy or not.

    • I’m fifty-fifty between that right now!

    • You know exactly how I felt then! ^_^

    • For sure😂 it was very underwhelming. I expected to feel at least a little different. I guess we’ll find out more next time lol.

  • I think in some ways it may actually better that you don’t feel different. You lost your virginity to the guy you loved, you still love your guy, he was wonderful, and you two had a new bonding experience. You could feel “different” and have hated what you did, found the guy to be cruel and harsh and feel like an idiot for letting him talk you into it. But you didn’t.
    Also congratulations on the event and being mature enough to be safe and protected. Good job!💟

    • Thanks so much :)

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • You were expecting to wake up and feel like a new person? That isn’t going to happen.

  • My first time was painful! It was with my first love. I did bleed. I felt dirty, and ashamed. I didn't want to look at myself in the mirror. He was a bit older than me. I didn't like it. I was afraid of sex until I turned 40. Now, I can't get any and I'm only 44 and had a hysterectomy. So, I can't get pregnant. What a shame! Go figure!

  • It'll get better with time and experience. Enjoy more oral sex. :)

  • It depends on how it goes, if It's a bad one you might feel bad about it or never want to try again. If it feels like a natural thing to do, it might not add up to the relationship in a special manner. If it feels shameful it could end up the same as bad ones do. If it feels special and exciting you might feel a need for the feeling.

  • Honestly, I do not have an answer to that.
    Firstly, because I am not a woman, and I have no idea what that feels like.
    Secondly, because people ruined sex for me when I was 4.
    Ever since, I have been afraid to have sex. The fact that I ever had orgasms with my wife before she passed... it was a clear testament to the love we shared.
    Compared to the other rare ocassions where I had sex, now those were empty. Just "another nut busted, gg"
    But again, I am the absolute wrong person to ask for this topic.

  • Having had sex doesn't make you another person and I can understand why you're confused that you don't feel any different. The internet is really blowing it all out of proportion and it's ridiculous.

    • I totally agree. It’s strange...

  • Lol the only difference I felt after my first time was that I was bleeding a bit the next day.. And was sore lol and was like in my head "omg did I really just lose my Virginity?" but the sex was great even though it was painful at first. And then I just wanted more sex lol

  • Well matter of fact when I had sex for first tym it felt so stupid... no sensual feeling.. no bleeding n no nothing like the hype as people describe... in fact I've learned that one can enjoy sex only when one does for several times n gets over the uneasiness... After so many years of sex now I feel yes I truly enjoy sex as it's potrayed in the movies

  • Good for you. I agree totally. Too many people put virginity up on a pedestal to be worshiped and cherished for eternity and all that stupid shit. Too many people also make losing virginity into too much a big deal as well and make it out to be this earth-shattering mind blowing experience. That really isn't true either. What you experienced is very normal and typical. My first time was more like a really uncoordinated, nerve-wrecking and embarrassing science experience. I can't remember if I came either. Virginity is something to fucking get rid of and never look back. The more you do it, the better it gets, so virginity is not something to hold onto. Good for you and congratulations!

  • I felt the same way, granted my first time was with a guy who was practically a stranger in a public bathroom

  • My first time was pretty meh. Haven't felt any different afterwards either and was just like... and this is sex? Like that's it?
    For a girl, sex is something you have to get used to for really enjoying it.

  • One of life's little jokes. You are told for years that you should wait to have sex. Save yourself until you meet that one right person and then magic will happen. And you ask is that all there is?

    The magic comes over time. Being with your selected partner gives you time to be comfortable with each other and to learn how to be sexual together. Sex between dedicated partners should be a great enhancement and expression of that relationship. That is magic.

    The real magic comes by learning about being sexual. Learning what you like then teaching your partner and learning what he likes. And if you really want to take it to the next level, there are techniques such as the Tantric and Taoist that teach higher levels of sexuality.

    This is the beginning not the end. It is the journey not the destination when it comes to sex.

    • One of life's other jokes is guys are in their sexual prime as teenagers and early 20's. Gals don't reach their prime until late 20's and early 30's.

  • Nope it hurt but I dont feel any different. I lost my virginity a week ago. I only feel more confident and more ready for it to happen again.

  • I didn't feel much different either.

  • Losing your virginity is not really a thing outside what people themselves make out of it. As such, if you have high expectations and build it into something special then sure it could be magical... but it might also be a disappointment since you built something up that did not support it. Either way entirely up to you what you take away from the experience.

    I honestly can't even remember my first time. Not because it was bad or anything but because for me that was not the important part. Point being your feelings on the matter is entirely subjective and there is no real wrong answer.

  • Mostly just what's different is that you don't have to imagine and wonder what it's like anymore.

  • My first time was a lot different. You are right the media hypes it out of proportion. And some women don't have piano or any blood the first time.

  • I wouldn't know..

  • What you experienced is the norm. Everything out there is BS.

  • I’m a virgin but I think this is a good example of why people shouldn’t pressure people to lose their virginity. It’s not like sex changes you as a person... unless you become a sex addict.

  • Show More (79)

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