Teen pregnancy issues, how do I tell my parents?

I'm 16 and fell pregnant like 3 weeks ago. I have told my boyfriend and his mum, she was upset but very accepting. My boyfriend is very frustrated at the moment, he does have anger issues so he can be snappy, but overall he is going to step up and be responsible. I have not told my parents yet and I'm shitting myself... any suggestions?


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What Guys Said 13

  • Most parents fall somewhere in the middle. For example, some parents have pretty liberal values but they're still shocked to learn their teen had sex. Even parents who know their teens are having sex can still be disappointed or worried about their future.

    Your parents' personalities also play a part in how they'll react. Some parents are easy to talk to or calmer in a crisis. Some are more emotional, more easily stressed out, more likely to get upset or angry, to yell or cry, or express themselves loudly.

    Most parents want to be supportive of a daughter who is pregnant (or a son who got a girl pregnant), even if they are angry or upset at first. But a few may react violently to the news and let anger get out of control.

    First, find the words. You might say, "I have something difficult to tell you. I found out that I'm pregnant." Then wait. Allow your parents to absorb what you said.

    Be prepared to deal with the reaction. What happens next? Will your parents be angry, stressed, or emotional? Will they lecture you? Use harsh words? Ask a ton of questions?

    It's good to think ahead about what you might do and how you may feel. For instance, if a parent yells, you'll want to be prepared so you can keep the conversation productive and resist any urge to yell back.

    Of course, not every parent yells. Many don't. Even if parents have a strong reaction at first, most want to help their children. Lots of teens are surprised at how supportive their parents turn out to be.

    It can help to tell your parents that you understand their feelings and point of view. Saying things like, "I know you're really mad," "I know this isn't what you wanted for me," or, "I know this isn't what you expected" can help your parents be more understanding. The key is to be honest and speak from the heart. If you say what you think parents want to hear or make statements just to calm them, it might sound fake.

    Give your parents time to speak without jumping in. Listen to what they say. Let them vent if they have to.

    Tell them how you feel. Part of your conversation might involve telling parents how you feel. For example, if you know you've disappointed them and you feel sorry about it, say that. Let them know if you feel disappointed in yourself, too.

    You might say, "Mom and Dad, I know I've disappointed you. I know you're upset. I'm really sorry for putting you through this. I'm disappointed in myself, too."

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    • 7d

      Share your fears and worries, such as, "I'm scared about how I'm going to handle this, what my friends will think, and what it means about school." Or, "I can't believe this is happening to me and I'm not sure what to do."

      Putting your feelings into words takes plenty of maturity and it's not easy to do. Don't worry if the words don't come out perfectly or if you cry or get emotional as you're saying them. It can help to think about your feelings ahead of time. If you can't imagine expressing your feelings out loud, consider writing them down in a letter.

      If you need to, get help breaking the news. A visit to your doctor's office or a health clinic is a must — not just for your health, but to get more information and discuss the realities of your situation. You'll want to understand your choices and explore your feelings with an experienced professional. During your visit, the doctor, nurse, or health counselor also can help you think through how to tell your parents.

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    • 7d

      You know your parent and you know your situation. If you need to tell your parents you're pregnant but think they might react in a way that could hurt you, have someone else with you when you tell them. If you're concerned about your safety, get advice. A teen health clinic, such as Planned Parenthood, or a teen pregnancy hotline can guide you and steer you toward resources to support you.

      Of course, most parents won't react with extreme anger. The thing to remember is every parent is different and you know yours best.

      Talking to parents whenever you can is a good way to sort through the many feelings and issues that arise. In the best of situations, parents can help you make important decisions and support your choices. They can be a source of guidance and encouragement.

    • 7d

      Sometimes a difficult situation brings people closer and strengthens their bonds. Sometimes, however unexpectedly, a difficult situation can help a family discover unconditional love, support, kindness, forgiveness, acceptance, teamwork, and optimism.

      Hope it helps. 😊🇮🇳

      I apologize for the long opinion. I answer such cases seriously. Any Queries?

  • If you are thousand percent with legitimacy of this claim with medical test, then you should tell your parents ASAP and they will be angry cuz 16 years is quiet a young age to be in this mess. They will overreact first but will finally understand and don't worry if they don't cuz their nephew will just melt them in first sight.
    You "fell pregnant" kind of look like there is a doubt but trust me its best to be 100% in these issues and stay strong, you may not have normal childhood.

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  • You just have to be honest. It’s scary, I know. There may be lots of anger and/or crying. But it’ll be obvious soon enough.

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  • Just do it. You aren't getting any less pregnant as each day goes by. Trust me, as a parent, it's far better they hear it from you than figure it out on their own.

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  • Talk to your mom.

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  • I'd suggest you abort. For the greater good of the baby and you, it's the right thing to do. People aren't equipped to be a parent at 16. Plus a father with anger issues isn't great either. It's tough but I believe it's the right thing.

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    • 7d

      I'm pro life fight me

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    • 6d

      @trumpify best of luck Dont look at things so negatively all life deserves a chance and she'll be a great mom I know it have hope in the little things and take care

    • 6d

      It's good to have hope man. But you can't be impractical and hope for the best. That's the reason everyone isn't living an equally good life. I can't hope to be as rich as bill gates and not work toward that goal. You'll understand certain harsh realities of life after you start earning for your family and live the adult life. It's very tough.

  • You should talk to them ASAP they'll understand they were teens once and he should calm down this us his responsibility too don't have abortion or I will have mixed feelings about you forever...

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  • "fell" pregnant xD
    Tell them ASAP and straight forward.
    If they hear it from someone else it will be a bigger mess

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  • You should tell them ASAP. Welcome to adulthood. You wanna play like an adult you are going to have to learn to live like one. Own up to your mistake.

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  • I don't agree with abortion. I think you should just be honest and tell them. There isn't any easy way to do it. It sucks being a teen parent but it happens and you need your parent's support.

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  • Go somewhere public like a police station and tell them there...

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  • There goes your life. Way not to use condoms or birth control

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  • Tell them. They will want to know and try to help you. Unless you got absolute gabshite parents

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What Girls Said 8

  • You and your boyfriend should sit down with your parents together and tell them.

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  • As you told it your boyfriend and his mum, do the same with your parents. Why the hell didn't use any condoms? You can buy one anywhere!

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  • It would be best to tell them sooner rather than later

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  • Ah, just tell them.

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  • Tell them as soon as possible, the longer you leave it the worse it will get for you emotionally. You need their love and support. They won’t be happy initially but you need them there.

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  • Tell your mom. She'd want to help

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  • Tell them directly that you are pregnant

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  • don't tell your parents until you've talked to a trusted adult. i know this is said a million times in these situations, but it's true or else it wouldn't be brought up

    what i'd recommend is keep talking to your bf's mother (if you trust her) and ask her what to do since she obviously was a mother carrying a child. maybe not a teen about - to - be mother, but she was still a mother carrying a child at one point in her life

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