How should I tell a guy he gave me an STD?

Question

So, I moved to uni, hooked up with a guy a few times in a no-strings attached type of way. After the first few times I felt like I knew him and trusted him enough to agree to leave out the condom (he was sure he was clean and healthy, as was I). Turns out, he wasn’t, as now 1,5 months later I was told by the doctor that I definitely have something (chlamydia, trich or something). I won’t get my test results untill next week and there’s no-one else I could’ve caught it from. Things ended pretty badly with me and this guy and we haven’t talked in over a month (he went back to his home country). I know I should tell him to go get checked so he won’t spread anything around, but I have no idea what to say. Should I wait until I know what he gave me? He was a bit of a douche but not enough to knowingly give me an STD (I hope?) so he was probably asymptotic.. still I’m absolutely pissed and will have to take a lot of antibiotics that’ll apparently make me feel very ill. And yes, I learnt my lesson about always using condoms, no need to preach.. :( So, how should I approach him? Do I have the right to be annoyed at him? Have any of you guys been in such a situation?

jerico1 · Accepted Answer

If you definitely have something & you definitely know it's from him damn right you have a reason to be furious, if you're not 100% sure it's from him then don't mention anything. Wait for the results and go from there. If someone has a STD they know it, that's my opinion, how the hell can a person have a STD and not know it or at least question if they do or not, if that's the case with that dude and you find out you're positive for a STD I'd have no problem letting him know. Look out for yourself don't trust those dudes who say they're clean, they just don't want to use a condom. Some guys will look you in the eyes and tell you they're clean, don't believe those idiots all they want is to get laid. So many young guys today are suckers who don't have the brains they were born with, don't fall for the nonsense that comes out of they're mouth.

madhatters4 · Accepted Answer

So, how should I approach him?
i'd wait til you find out specifically what you have. then just email him or text him. he needs to know for his sake so he can get it taken care of and of course so he can act accordingly with future sexual partners

do you have a right to be annoyed?
sure it's natural to be annoyed but you had unprotected sex so you knew the risks.

Have any of you guys been in such a situation?
i've never experienced this

RuthAnn1781 · Accepted Answer

Just walk up to him and be like, "So, before we had sex, I didn't have an STD and now I do. While I love early Christmas presents, this one isn't cool. You need to talk to the girls you slept with and tell them about this"

BrittBratt2416 · Accepted Answer

when you get your results show it to him or let him know over private message. You might not get the best response though, he might not believe you or call you a lying but at least you told him though.

carrotpie · Accepted Answer

You should definitely tell him as soon as possible! Maybe wait until her test results but I'd day sooner. Just leave him a message, I don't think you need to do it in person lol

SarahsSummer · Accepted Answer

What do you mean “approach” him? I thought he’s in a different country?  Do you have the right to be annoyed? SMH. Did you demand he not use a condom?

thghtlssthghts · Answer

Go show him the test resultsm

deraz24 · Answer

Yep.

Bramlokh · Answer

Tell him you got yourself tested after you had sex and that he should get one aswell since he probably have it to you. Chlamydia is mostly treated with penicillin and can result in infertility if left on it's own. Since it is treated with penicillin then it is very important to do the entire cute your doctor has perscribed to you, Even if it seems like it is gone. Any bacteria left will grow resistant and then you got a real problem

Chrysis · Answer

"Hey. You gave my an STD. Better get that checked before some other unlucky soul catches it from you."

Intraluminal · Answer

You have the right to be annoyed. As soon as you know what it is, just tell him straight out that you got it from him. He probably did know.

jacquesvol · Answer

Of course. But remember  If you aren't in a serious relationship

Iamaguy4real · Answer

Nah, I think he does know, but he didn't care about your feelings.

Flower-petal · Answer

Pick up the phone and call the sob

BleepRawrsaurus_Rex · Answer

Let him know after you get the tests back. You don’t have to be friendly or bring up anything that happened between you guys. Just be honest and let him know you got something.

Danielleo · Answer

tell him, and where s the guy from.

Fullmetal2099 · Answer

Go get checked at any clinic.

Belin93 · Answer

This is beyond relationships, feelings, or emotions. You should call, email, text, immediately to tell him that he needs to get checked and document it for future reference just in case. Better to get documented in an email. Think of it as a public service announcement like an outbreak. Everyone hooking including myself needs to get checked regular, so yes you should be pissed at him for spreading that $ht. Fortunately, knock-on-wood, I have avoided that $ht.