Sexual Health
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Should I be offended that my boyfriend said sex would be easier if I was thinner?

I am overweight and he is thin. I am on a weight loss journey. Lost 60 lbs. My boyfriend of 5 months said that if I was thinner we could do more sex positions. Which is true. It's just the way he said it. He said that he's never been with someone my size my level. He said that that's why sometimes he has trouble adjusting his dick inside me. I told him the first guy I was with had no trouble. Not that I'm justifying myself. And that's why I waited so long to have sex because I was afraid to show someone and I'm at my most vulnerable. It's like everything I was afraid all came up in conversation. He said I was too big from my ass and the bottom half of my body. He was being honest right? I shouldn't feel hurt? I am doing something about my weight.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • First off, damn, congrats on the work you've been doing to lose 60lbs! Best of luck with carrying on your journey, hope it's not too trying.

    Honestly, the way you've put it makes your guy sound like a right wanker. Seriously. That's the kind of thing I'd cause a huge argument over. He clearly knows it's an area you're self conscious about and instead of some kind of encouragement about you actively bettering yourself he's making it about how it's an inconvenience for him and dropping negative comments on your body. That's scummy behaviour, honestly. If you know someone's sensitive about something you don't start making negative comments, especially to your significant other who you're supposed to cherish.

    I don't want to tell you to drop him and go find a guy who appreciates you because it's not my place but damn, girl. It might be 'honesty' in some respects but you don't hurt those you love. You are clearly hurt from it and have every right to be.

  • No honey. You shouldn't be offended. He sounds like a disrespectful loser. Next time he says that to you.. reply with "oh.. I found your pens pump.. do you need it cleaned today?" Or.. 'aww I never knew you had a second belly button". You are beautiful the way you are. It's one thing.. gently.. respectfully offering your 2 cents with the sex position thing.. but quite another to say "I've never been with someone your size level". He's basically calling you fat. If you wanna lose more weight.. do it for you.. personally I know guys that like a little junk in the trunk.. even I admire a voluptuous feminine body. Like you said the first guy you were with had no trouble. It's just him being an inconsiderate douche. And "they wouldn't have your personality" Pfft. . he should love and want the whole package. Big girls are sexy!

  • Well yeah, it's not like you're sitting there and gaining more weight. You're actually doing something about it. That and he probably knew how big you are before getting with you. If you were petty, I would suggest telling him that it's just his lack of strength and technique.

    • Does he mean he wants her to lose weight? :D

    • That can be assumed yes, although it could be a mess up on his part.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Wow. A lot of this is in how its being said and its ok to say you feel touchy or tender on the subject. Honesty us good though, and you shouldn't let your hurt feelings get in the way of your journey with him if he didn't mean it in a mean way. Its ok to feel the way you feel on the other hand. It may not be good to get angry unless he's out to hurt your feelings, but often loosing weight goes hand in hand with learning to feel your feeling anew. You should tell him how it makes you feel but that you like the honesty... if you do. I hope you do. And go from there as far as how he treats you.

    • I do appreciate the honesty it's how he said it. Also when I told him a while back why he won't just get with someone thinner if it's easier for him he said he could but they wouldn't have my personality. So what? He's just with me because of my personality? Why are we having sex if it's an issue? All questions I need to ask.

  • Well, if you are on a quest to lose weight, then Good for You. Keep on that path and you will be the size you want to be in time.
    He was being honest and it was also what you hoped you would never hear, but his is being honest, which most women want anyway. So, you have a boyfriend, he is thin and you two have a relationship... what do you want? Maybe he could be more suttle and nice about it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 13

  • No, you could answer him saying "Yeah, and it would be better if you were bigger, I can loose weight, you on the other hand..."

    • The "No" is for me, and it was just my mind screaming. The answer is YES, BE offended!

    • The thing is he does have a good size dick... he just doesn't know how to use it... he's not experienced enough with women like me I suppose. I didn't want to be offended. But somehow I feel hurt... there's a couple of things about him I don't like and I still chose to overlook them. I wasn't a dick about it.

    • Yeah, the "dick size" remark is because it pisses me off, like very, very, when men act that way. If he is with you, he should BE with you. I know what you are going through (my family has always had someone loosing weight) and how that makes you feel. Yes you should be offended because he is not behaving in the best of ways with the woman that HE should be LOVING and RESPECTING!!! Ugh! If I had him just close enough! It is about respecting you, who you are, and what you are doing. It's not easy to loose weight, the same way it's super complicated to stop smoking or drinking... but smoking and drinking just means you move away from cigar places and bars... try to move away from food! Trust yourself, empower yourself, be the best woman you can think of! And please! Tell him that if he is so lucky as to have someone like you, he should be supporting and caring, regardless of how much he may be right or how much you may want to be cool. You are an amazing woman!

  • Sounds like you need a different boyfriend. I think if he started dating you then he should be happy with you, not telling you your ass is too big so he can't stick his dick in you as good. What a jerk off.

  • Congratulations for your great achievement do far! Don't let him spoil it. He sounds like a weak guy who needs to talk others down to feel better. If you move on and getting more in shape you will for sure find easy someone who cares and supports you better.

  • The more weight a girl has the longer dick she needs to reach "that spot".
    In otherwords, the closer the bone, the harder she moans.
    It it no wonder women complain men's dicks are too small... obeisty is on the rise and women are in denial, then blame the men their cock is too small.

    Should I be offended that my boyfriend said sex would be easier if I was thinner?

  • Loosen up and drop that fat.

  • Tell him it would be easier if he had a bigger dick

    • Lol right? Even the guy I was with before him had a smaller dick and he didn't struggle at all and the sex was amazing.

    • Sex with fat people is cumbersome, big dick or small dick.

    • This answer is exactly what I was thinking!! 😂

  • He just was clueless about what he was saying.

  • That is kinda hurtful what he said, but you can't knocking him for the truth if you asked him.

  • It's the guy you can do just as much with a bigger woman

  • No you shouldn't be offended. You should be getting your fat ass up and jogging the craters out of your big ass thighs. Now unless your boyfriend is an unemployed black felon with a gold tooth he ain't gonna want to see your big ass no mo

  • may be he is right as he wants different positions sex n enjoy

  • No man should make you feel that way, if he's having trouble his dick inside of you he doesn't habe the right size equipment to handle you.

  • Hun, in my personal life, "big" girls will be amazing, they're a turn ON! if he thinks you should lose weight, then ask him why, and if it's just sex, be dominant with him and tell him straight, no I like myself like this, now man up and deal with it or else we have to make a compromise.

  • Yes. it dont matter if you skinny or have few extra pounds.

  • Put off some weight

  • What an amazing weight loss! Good for you! Honestly he doesn’t sound supportive at all. I would think long and hard if you want him in your life still.

  • He’s a dick... he just wants an excuse to tell you to lose weight...

  • Wow. And you should've said maybe sex would be easier if he knows how to make love to a woman regardless her size. Unless you're 600lbs or maybe he should pack on some weight so he can lift you. Damn this pisses me off. lol he's so biased damn it.

    • No not 600 lbs. But I was so hurt. I waited a long time to lose my virginity for what seemed a silly reason but when he said all that... he just proved my fears were accurate. I gained confidence when I lost my 60 lbs and he's just... making me feel so insecure 😒

    • girl, work on yourself more. kudos to you for losing all 60lbs which is amazing. keep working on it and do it for you. not for anybody else.

  • your doing something about your weight and your proving your trying, yes you should feel hurt and does sound like he doesn't know how to use his dick properly

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