Why do some girls feel expected to give oral sex during hookups without expecting anything in return?

[Anonymous]

I knew a girl from college who would have hook ups and one night stands but would not always have intercourse. On the times she would deny her hookup partner sex, she would go down on him. She felt they expected it from her. Almost like she was giving him a consolation prize. She told me she regarded it as a chore and would not expect anything in return, or would not want them to give her any oral or helping hand because according to her sometimes they would try but wouldn't know what to do. She said she did this all voluntary and not against her will. I understand doing things to please a partner during a relationship, but My Question is for the ladies who have been in this position, if you don't know the guy that well anyways (random hookups) and don't want to have sex, why not say no or just make out and leave if you really didn't feel like preforming oral sex on him? Have any girls out there given head to random guys who you don't ever plan to see again because you actually wanted to? If not why did you do it? No judging people!

[Simple-Simonette]

Because girls are afraid being disliked. And to be labeled a tease is paramount to being undesired.

The sense that sex is "owed" is pervasive in society today. There is a point of no return when it comes to physical intimacy, and if a girl doesn't deliver what the guy thinks is promised, then she's looked upon in a negative way. There seems to be an expectation to deliver, despite what the girl really wants.

I understand, even in with my feminist viewpoints, the disappointment that can come from not getting what you thought was a sure deal. But I also have to ask myself, why is that expectation there? Why can't a girl just do what she likes and leave when she's done?

I find myself straddling a blurry line here - yes, no woman should ever feel obligated to deliver something she doesn't want to, but also - she shouldn't make promises she isn't going to keep.

I've had sex unwillingly twice while single, and it was because I felt that I took things too far to back away without being rude. I knew what was going on and had ample opportunity to say "no", or "never mind" - but I didn't. And I don't blame anyone but myself. Mind you, this is a far cry from a guy pressuring a woman to do something she doesn't want to; I'm not advocating sexual assault at all. Back then, I was aware there was a "point of no return" that I crossed on my own for whatever reasons I had back then.

So maybe your friend was like me - she was aware of her actions and wanted to lessen the disappointment by giving them something. The whole random guy thing - it could be she has low self esteem and doesn't think she's worthy of a relationship. I don't know, that's edging into territories I'm not qualified to speculate on.

[Anonymous]

This was exactly my position a couple weeks back! Some background and stuff that went through my head:

We started making out and then we got to a point where we could either have sex or take it to the next base. I knew he had had sex before, so when I told him that I was a virgin (that too mid-passion) and I wasn't going to have sex with him for my first time, I was expecting him to be really disappointed and thought that he would just be all like, "Wtf i just wasted all my time and skills on you" so I wanted to do something so that he wouldn't regret the evening (?) and I thought the only way I could do that was if I did him a favour without asking for anything in return. I didn't want to disappoint him. It was partly a consolation and partly an attempt at correcting my mistake of not giving him prior notice.
Also, I wanted to check it off my bucket list.

[Anonymous]

It's what guys expect. Also, if you make a mistake and go too far with a guy without him finishing, he gets angry. Angry men make us either feel guilty or afraid.

[Anonymous]

Usually its just a conquest, because you like someone ie physically attracted...