My fiance still keeps pictures of the boobs of a girl he used to flirt with?

[mrssmcd]

I love my fiance, and I know he loves me very much. But I found out a few months ago that he still has boob pictures of a girl he had a crush on in high school and reconnected with 2 years ago. They have never dated or anything. When they reconnected after high school, it was just through email and Facebook. He was still single at the time, we hadn't met yet, and he said he had asked her to send him pictures of her boobs and other risque images, and she did. They don't communicate anymore, except for a friendly email exchange a couple of months ago. But it really bothers me that he still has those pictures! I'm really upset! This argument between us has been going on for a few months now, and he knows how upset I am about it. He says he has never masturbated to the pictures, he's not planning to use them or masturbate to them or whatever, because he doesn't find her attractive anymore. He's really mad, though, and says he's putting his foot down because he doesn't want to be told what he can and cannot keep in his hard drive. I understand this, and I don't want to be controlling, but it really, really bothers me. I know he's faithful to me, but my point is, what's the point of keeping the pictures? She's not important to him, right? And he always tells me that what he wants in his life is to make me happy. So if the pictures of this girl's boobs make me unhappy, then why not delete them to make me happy? Aargh, I am so upset that I don't even want to talk to him for a month, just to give him a lesson! Guys, am I just being crazy and paranoid? Or does it mean something when a man wants to keep boob pictures of a girl he used to have a thing for? My fear is that this might mean he secretly, or even subconsciously, wants to be with her and not me. Oh, and there's also a picture of her sucking another guy's d***! Yes, he still has that, too! Aargh! FYI, in fairness to him, he did show me those pictures of his own accord. I didn't chance upon them, or looked at his computer behind his back, or anything like that. He did say he was very disappointed in my reaction because he thought I was mature enough to handle it, and the emotion I displayed showed him I am not. But I really don't feel I'm in the wrong here! I'm not the only girl who would be upset. Other girls would be upset, too, if their men still kept boob pictures of girls they used to flirt with! Aargh!

[Anonymous]

I think I'd be upset, too, over these pictures. I certainly wouldn't like it if I found out my boyfriend had boob pictures of another woman.

In his defense, though, he DID show them to you. He's with you now and plans to be for many, many years to come. He doesn't talk to her anymore. He's faithful to you.

I know it bothers you, and it'd bother me, too. But at this point if he's given you no reason to not trust him or think that there could be something going on the side then you should just let it go. It sounds like he did have a thing for this woman in the past and that this 'thing' was primarily sexual. This is where you and she differ. You have him on such a deeper and more intimate level than she ever has and ever will. You are better than she is. I can't tell you why he still keeps them. Perhaps it's just a nostalgia thing? Perhaps that's the one last link he has to his bachelorhood.

My boyfriend used to have vivid dreams where I'm somehow always the bad guy; I'd try to kill him; I'd be a thief; I'd cheat on him. He trusts me completely and loves me more than anything; I always found these dreams very odd, but then attributed them to his subconscious realizing he's "stuck" with me (haha) for the rest of his life and that I'm slowly killing his bachelorhood. Those dreams lasted a few months and then disappeared. Afterwards (right now actually) he's in the process of buying a house for us. That last link to his bachelorhood is gone and now he's completely and 100% devoted to me without any regrets.

The point is, I realize the pictures upset you a great deal. But the bigger deal you make it out to be the more he's going to dig in his heels and refuse to get rid of the photos. Let him have his photos. Eventually he'll grow tired of them and get rid of them. I don't agree with him keeping the photos, but sometimes you need to compromise. He compromised by showing you the photos so that you were aware and wouldn't accidentally come across them and think the worst. You need to compromise by not making a big deal of them. They will disappear eventually.

Just a thought.

[KarKingJack]

To me, you don't sound like the kind of person who would be upset by this. Honestly? The only problem you could have with it is jealousy, and you don't seem to be a jealous person. I reckon maybe there's just some kinda comitment fear going on? That happens a lot when people get engaged, and they don't even realise. They argue about things without really knowing why it upset them so much, and its not really about anything inparticular, just a general feeling of unease.

I'd say just don't worry. You know he's being totally reasonable, you've said that. But you have the right to be upset, just try not to make a big deal out of it, and see if you can move on.

By the way, my predictions are that all the lads will say its alright for him to keep them, cos we're all horny f***ers, and all the girls will say its not alright for him to keep them, 'cos they're all jealous f***ers. Hahaha. So I don't think this website will be of huge help to you here. And talking to him about it is obviously out of the question seeing as that's what you've been doing, and why you've come here. You gotta just decide, is your relationship stronger than a pair of t*ts?

[ryanontario]

well as long is he's not looking at them regualrly I don't see them as really a big deal , means lots of people have lots of things on there computer they never look at and likely forget they even have to begin with . and lots of guys have copies of p*rn magazines siting around they never look at , I have a few playboys here I have not looked at in months for whatever reasons , they were neat at first but then they got old quick . anyways I'm sure her pics were hot at first but got old quick as well and I doubt he looks at them anymore anyways

[JamieLoves]

Hey, you can’t underestimate a great set of boobs! If they’re really nice, why would he get rid of the pictures !