My parents walked in on me having sex.

[Anonymous]

my parents caught me having sex yesterday. they just walked right into my room. they didn't know that my boyfriend was in my room. my mom freaked out and my dad was pissed. I haven't come out of my room. I have my door locked, and my parents keep telling me they want to have a talk with me. what should I do, what should say to them. I mean I am already on b-control. we always have sex with condoms. what should I say to my parents. please I need advice.

[Deline]

Yikes. Oh my god, embarrassing. Buuut. look. face the facts.

1) You're pretty young. so they probably are very worried that you're NOT doing it right.

2) Since they know you are DOING it. they just want sure you understand the implications.

3) You may actually NOT know all the implications, so it could be good hearing what they got to say about. I mean.hey. they made you didn't they?

All that being said. if you got religious or freaky or both. types of parents. then. I dunno. Jump the window and run away?

Just stay cool, say you sorry if they think you disrespected them in their home.just let them blow out the steam. Fighting with them is only going to make a situation worse. And try really really hard. not to assume that you know everything. cause, I'm sure you heard it a million times. you may THINK you know.but you still don't really know. I'm 33 and I'm STILL learning shit. imagine that.

Good luck!

[Asker]

My parents are very religious. they said that I have to be married before I have sex. which when they told me, I had already lost my virginity. I told them what they wanted to hear and told them that I would wait. they were even talking about getting me a promise ring.

[Deline]

Tough situation. Just know that they care a lot about you, and perhaps having sex at your age IS a bit young if you haven't thought about what would happen if you got pregnant or an STD (I'm assuming your using protection). To me, that's the most important things regarding sex. Best not argue with them and realize that your time living with their under their rules will eventually come to an end, sooner than they can even expect you to wait until marriage. Then it'll all be up to you.

[Asker]

Im 16 how is that to young? your right, I haven't thought about what would happen if I did get pregnant or an std. of course we use protection. I feel horrible, the way I treated my parents. I did argue with them. I shouldnt have.

[Deline]

Think of it this way, even with protection there is a tiny chance that you could still get pregnant. Can you handle taking care of another child right now? Probably not. Can you partner financially support you while your pregnant? Stuff like that doesn't come in a the heat of the moment, and you're not the first 16 year old to experiment but maybe you should take it easy. What's the rush? Your parents really deep down just thinking about your future well being. You should too... right?

[Asker]

No I couldn't take care of a child right now. well he probably could support me but that is if he stays. no people don't think about that in the heat of the moment. there isn't any rush. I guess I could slow down. the way parents were talking to me it didn't sound like they were thinking about my future. but I know they only do that because they love me. I should be thinking about my future.

[Deline]

They notice how you walk, how you interact with others, your overall confidence and disposition.

oh. an eye contact. that's. huge.

[HaggardDiva]

WOW, embarrassing. I know you hate to do it, but you need to just sit down and talk to them. Explain to them that you always use condoms as well as your birth control and how you feel about this guy. You need to just be honest with them.

They are worried about you. You are their little girl and they want to protect you. Sometimes parents seem really mad when really it's a front for being scared. As I grew up and got closer to my mom I came to realize where she was coming from when she did some of the things she did to me when I was younger. And now that I have a kid I understand even more, mine is only 2 but I can already feel myself getting overprotective and not looking forward to things like that.

[Asker]

I know,but they said I can't have sex anymore. even though I am being careful. and I did tell them that I really care for my boyfriend and I know he cares for me. but it was like talking to a brick wall. they just kept saying that I can't have sex with him anymore. but after I just walked back in my room and called him and told my boyfriend what my parents said. how are they going to know if I am having sex or not. they aren't which means they aren't going to trust me.

[HaggardDiva]

That's a really tough situation. I'm sorry that your parents are so hard headed. I wish you the best of luck in getting this straightened out.

[Asker]

Thanx. I guess I will just spend the next week or so in my room and at my boyfriends house. I have snuck out before I COULD sneak out now. but I don't want to disappoint my parents more then they already are. heads up when your kid grows make sure to have their room on the second floor. you know when ever you kid sexually active.my room is on the first floor so it is easier to sneak out of my window.

[cuteflirtygirl]

haha I don't know what to say. my mom walked in when my boyfriend was eating me out but I had a skirt on and my undies were just pushed aside so he was able to move quick and my mom never really knew what he was doing. lol. she did tell him it was time for him to go home but since then she's been ok with him being in my room just as long as he doesn't stay too long. usually we try to do stuff when she's not home like shopping, etc and that gives him more time to do better oral on me. just tell your parents you're old enough to have sex and that's why you're on b-control plus he always has a condom on. you might as well as be upfront so that you don't have to hide so much in the future.

[Asker]

Thats the thing, my parents don't know I'm on b-control.

[cuteflirtygirl]

I see omggg. lol. When you got good parents it's hard for them to understand what us younger kids are up to especially girls and yet we want to listen to them.. You don't want to get pregnant and that can happen if the comdom should tear. I know you're still gonna see him whenever you can, so I'd suggest he starts doing oral on you cause it's easier to do and he can make you come that way and start enjoying doing that to you more and more himself like my boyfriend does. He owes you that.

[Asker]

Ya he does owe me that. I am at his house now. we are just hanging out. do you know how hard it is to sneak out of the house while your parents are practically right outside your door. HARD extremely hard.

[cuteflirtygirl]

Yes he does own you that, and YES lol I do know how hard it is to sneak out of the house with parents right outside the door, almost impossible. I hope he gets a chance to read this, but I do think he needs to start eating you out like I said my boyfriend does by just pushing your undies aside because you guys can do that faster and get away with it without sneaking so much. Once he starts going down on you, you'll guys will feel MUCH more satisfied and not wanting sex as often. You both need that.

[Asker]

He is sitting right next to me. so I think he can read it. but he has started getting ontop of me and I had to push him off since his parents are home.

[cuteflirtygirl]

So do you think you'll get him to start what I suggested? I really do think you should be expecting him to do that to you since you don't have much time together and you have to be afraid of being caught. Hey message me and let's talk about this, ok?

[Jono1327]

I just tried this with my girlfriend and she loved it. Perfect idea thanks I don't even ask anything in return.

[lvrgirl2011]

I think a lot of people have this happen to them at least once it their lives. The world isn't going to end just because your parents caught you. Yes, it's by far embarrassing that they did catch you but you need to prove you're responsible and mature enough to handle having sex. I think you should just be honest with your parents and let them know that you're having sex, you've been having sex, and that you're going to continue having sex. Since you're sexually active they can't really stop you now. When talking to them just be straight forward with them.

[Shlei3]

Tell them that. Time to face the music. By not talking to them you are worrying them and proving to them that you still have a lot of growing to do (which you do). Be prepared to answer questions like:

Have you thought of the consequences of having sex other than pregnancy and stds?

How long have you been having sex for?

Let them know that you are responsible and you do use condoms. Also, make them feel better by mentioning an annual pap smear. It's awkward but it's good for them to know.

[Asker]

How am I worrying them. my dad didn't act so worried. I know I have a lot of growing up to do. I just don't like it when my parents are mad at me. they always say the same thing. "you are only 16yrs old. what were you thinking." it is going to be real awkward. do I have to answer their questions. I not so afraid of what my mom will say I am afraid of what my dad will say. I will go talk to them now.

[John-Bee]

Believe it or not they were young once too. You are worrying them by the chance that you may get PG. Even though you are on birth control & use a condom there is still a small chance. They don't want their baby ruining her life by having a baby. Just try to put yourself in their shoes. You really do understand don't you? Just face the music and try to answer their questions calmly & rationally! Not this it's my body stuff. Even tell them what they want to hear. GOOD LUCK!

[Shlei3]

Yes let us know how it went. You are worrying them because you aren't being adult about it by hiding from them. If you're old enough to have sex you are old enough to talk to them about it.

[Asker]

Well I just got done talking to my parents. my dad was yelling at me saying how stupid I was and how I might be pg. my mom was asking some embarrassing questions non stop. but I told them that I would take a pregnancy test and that I would go to the doctors to check for stds. I told them that I won't have sex in their house. and they said no your not having sex at all. I just stared at him. thinking ok how are you going to stop a teenager that wants something. they were like you should have told us.

[Shlei3]

It's to be expected. It's better that you got it out though. Don't have sex with anyone 18+ because you could get that person into trouble. You're a minor so that could mean big trouble. Keep using condoms if you keep having sex and don't go crazy and have tons of sex just despite them (I did that).

[Asker]

My boyfriend is 18. but its ok for me to be having sex with him. becouse I am 16. but ya I know I lost my virginity to my boyfriend when I was almost 14. my parents asked when I lost my virginity. I didn't tell them. how am I ever going to go see my boyfriend though my parents said that they are going to ask me were I am going and they might have someone follow me to tell them if I am at his house. they can't stop me from having sex.

[Shlei3]

How? Well you have two more years until you are free to do what you want. For the time being you are under your parent's support. Did they forbid him to see you ever again?

[Asker]

Yes they did. they said I can't see him at all anymore. 16yr olds can have sex with anyone any age they want. but that is no excuse for my parents.

[Shlei3]

Let them cool off for a bit and then go back (in a day or two) and see if you can reach an agreement. How long have you been dating this guy? PS. My parent's walked in on me as well.

[Asker]

I have been dating him a few months before I lost my virginity to him. I was 14. you probably felt the same way I feel now.

[Shlei3]

Two years almost? Well that's good news. I would say that you could talk to your parents about it and see if you could reach some sort of agreement with them. I continued to date and see my then boyfriend with stipulations with my parents. We were not to be in the house alone. I had to continue on my because (of course) and have my yearly check ups. It took a while before they were ok with him again. But I told them I cared about him and they compromised with me.

[Shlei3]

I did. My parents always liked him before so I made it a point to come to some compromise. That included birth control, not being home alone (without them) with him, yearly check ups, and we had to spend time with the family more. This in turn built their trust and I was able to still see him.

[Asker]

My parents aren't so forgiving. they are very religious. they don't even think that I need a boyfriend when I am 16. I mean I believe in god and everything but not to the extent of them. I think that if you love someone whether you are married or not you can have sex with them.

[Shlei3]

Than you will have to abide by their rules until you turn 18. It's not fair and it can be grim but as long as you are under their roof you do have to respect their rules. I'm sorry. If he can wait for you that would be great. But situations like these are very hard.

[Asker]

Wow, you sound like my parents. I wonder if I can just bring my boyfriend over to my house and maybe we can compromise.

[Shlei3]

I'm sorry. It's just how it is. Imagine if you had a daughter and she was having sex with her older boyfriend and you walked in on it. I would talk to them about it and try to reach a compromise. Just prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

[Asker]

Prepare for the worst, that's exactly what's going to come. but I love my boyfriend and I am not going to just stop seeing him because my parents said I cant. I could respect their wishes and not have sex but I still want to see him.

[Shlei3]

I would bring that point up to them. It's not going to be easy at all. But let them know how much you care about him. If he really cares he will work on it with you as well. Being a parent is not easy. I know you mentioned promise rings. If you're serious I would talk to them about it. But don't say you will do something and not do it. That will really hurt their feelings and it will make things harder for you in the long run.

[Asker]

Ya I am serious. I know that it is going to be hard just to stop having sex with each other but I think that I would rather see him than not see him at all. I don't like promise rings but if it will calm my parents down then I would do it.

[Shlei3]

It would help so I would do it. Compromise is the key

[Asker]

I will thanx. I will tell you how it goes.

[Shlei3]

Good luck...and discuss this with your boyfriend before your parents.

[Asker]

I will discuss this with him first.

[sexwiseman]

All you can do is come out and listen to what they tell you.shlei3 has pretty much said it quite well. And yea, next time, lock the door! :D

[Asker]

Well my parents weren't home at the time so I didn't think that I should have to lock the door.

[Lis4Loca]

You should ALWAYS lock the door! and also if you hae religious parents, make sure you don't have sex in your house.

[wonderingwhy]

They just have to come to an understanding that you felt you needed to have sex, so you took your ass out there and did it. All the reality to it. Tell them you're safe, careful, and I guess make up some nice lies about dude. To really give you advice as to what to say/act/how to react, I'd have to know your ethnicity. I don't mean to sound rude.

[NoName5]

What can you say? I think they will be doing most of the talking unless they ask questions. (in which case, answer them truthfully but not bluntly) Just nod your head and let them rant.

[Asker]

Trust me I already did. it was humiliating.

[enrgizerbbunny00]

OMG THIS IS WHAT I DREAD! I'm so sorry girl that this has happened to ya.

but if I were you. hmmm. I would go out and say " YES I DID IT! I DO IT! I AM ON BIRTH CONTROL! I HAVE SAFE SEX! "

bahahaha.

how old are you?

[Asker]

I am going on 17.

[kazine]

I actually really feel sorry for you for having such religious parents. Much be very irritating.

[Asker]

It is very irritating.

[ElizabethE_2004]

Face it, they will be pissed and they most likely will punish you. But they are or

[ElizabethE_2004]

Probably in ur best interest and probably think ur gonna get pregnant or an std

[taytaylover]

well what does it feel like for real I'm seriouse I'm bout to have sex for my first time what does it feel like?

[Anonymous]

oh my gosh. I don't know what id do if that happened to me. I guess all you can do is face them and talk to them. tell them that you've made the decision to have sex and that your being responsible about it and stuff. just make sure everything you say is responsible. I guess things will eventually get less weird around them

[Anonymous]

i am sure your parents are just worried. maybe you should first just talk to your mum. she might just be worried and wants to talk to you about "safe sex". and tell them they should knock at the door next time