Guys, Husband got mad I wouldn't give him a hand job, advice?

[Rose222]

Firstly.. I got him 'ready' but I wanted sex, he wanted a hand job instead because he was tired, so my mood went low and I didn't want to do it but rather suggested that we just wait until the next night to have sex, at which point he quickly turned off the light, huffed, and turned away while almost trying to get as far away from me as possible. He said he wasn't mad I difnt give him one, it was more my mood, but I know guys and I know it was because I didn't want to do it which kinda reminds me of when I used to date, a guy who didn't care would get super pissed off if I didn't do what he wanted, it's almost like he's using me, so even though my husband is a completely different person, it still made me feel the same, that he didn't love me but instead was using me.

I'd like to know what husbands actually think about all this though, sometimes I feel like he tries to manipulate me to the point where I feel horrible and end up doing whatever he wants to make him happy, needless to say I'm very timid.

What do you husbands think of all this?
Is it normal? Does it seem right? Was I in the wrong?

[madhatters4]

it sounds like he was ready for some sexual release but tired to have sex and was hoping you would just give him a handy. when you didn't, sexually frustrated he sort of pouted

i don't think this is a huge deal but i think his reaction was rather exaggerated and unecessary. he can't really blame you for not knowing that he wasn't going to want to have sex. so he is being a bit passive aggressive. but i also think that perhaps there is an alternative you guys can come to agree on civilly without this situation turning into a conflict... like oral sex all around.

[madhatters4]

bascially neither got exactly what you wanted and both overreacted. i think jsut a little conflict resolution would help. are their alternatives that can satisfy both parties. perhaps that night you give him the hj... next night you get something special for you

[Cannuk22]

I read your other post about oral. Wow your 23 married and have these problems. Sounds like u married the wrong guy. Sounds like a real dud in bed

[boggboss]

Relationships and marriages are give and take no you don't have to do what u don't wanna but can u say he has never done somthing for you that he don't want to but done it anyway because that's what u want?

[sahas20]

Correct!!

[boggboss]

😁thank you and I'm a scrub that only been in one relashonship for a year

[sahas20]

Hahaha you're welcome. Lol you seem to be ready to get married😂😂😂😂

[boggboss]

To tell the truth I didn't even want to seemed like a lot of fuss for something I didn't care for but finding out my girlfriend from little wanted to get married and always dreamd off it would love to make her happy in that regard don't really effect me I'll love her as much as I do now

[sahas20]

Great!! All the best for the future man!!

[Rose222]

Arh if your talking about oral sex given to me? I can give a definite NO to that, so because of that why is it fair that I put my head or hand anywhere near his? Its a common shitty deal.

[boggboss]

Like I said it's give or take you do it for him this night he asks for it next night if he is not I the mood how it is if you love your partner you don't just think about your feels you do both

[Rose222]

Arh.. I only understood half of that but if your saying that he's selfish than you are correct. I've never had it done to me before from anyone, I was pretty inexperienced before getting married so.. Its like I don't really know what I'm missing but girls rave on about it like it's the best thing in the world that they have ever experienced, I try to imagine it but I can't lol, I guess I won't ever know.

[Cuintan]

he was tired you were hot to trot. You turned him on but wouldn't adapt to his state of mind, your way or no way.
No comment.

[Ubername]

Lol. What a douche. He was just to lazy to jerk off

[DanBi03]

This sounds more like a symptom than the root cause. Either your relationship is in a bad place, or he has unresolved issues... or both. He seems a bit insecure sexually. At this stage probably you would have to convince him to go see a professional together and/or alone.

[Rose222]

Sorry another old thread, that's not my life anymore. But thankyou for helping

[DanBi03]

hehe sorry I don't see any dates on the threads, so I just pitch in :) Glad to know things have evolved positively

[jessture]

If he just wanted to get off he can take care of himself. Rather selfish of him to demand you give him an orgasm, but not offer in any way to take care of you.

[readywriter]

You 'got him ready' but then when it wasn't what you wanted to said 'tomorrow'. You got him hot and ready then cut him off. You are the one who pouted because you didn't get what you wanted.
because you have some great plan but it doesn't go that way, you can't just decide not to play and leave him like that. You need to refine you ideas. You are wrong.

[Raja3397]

Give him a blow job..

[Watdowomenthink85]

Start giving him a hand job once he begins cumming punch him in the balls

[kareemsaid]

He was tired and it's not the last time you both will have sex so not a big deal if you skip your desires for his desires unless there is another issue.

[Anonymous]

i think if your'e 23, and turning down bj's form your HUSBAND, you have a lot to think about in your relationship

[jessture]

If he is showing no sense of urgency to please her sexually, it is rather hypocritical for him to get angry for wanting to be pleased.

[Opinion Owner]

right

[Rose222]

@jessture that's exactly it, I don't know if its common but he never even tries to please me after it, it's always the same thing "That was awesome, goodnight hunny" 😳😡