Can't stop thinking about her having sex?

[Anonymous]

Me and my ex had been going out for 3 years. She broke up with me 2 weeks ago for the reason (as far as I can tell) that I asked her out when she was 14 and I was 15, and now we're 17 and 18, she's "changed" and she's no longer in love with me like she was. So she broke up with me. And I didn't chase her because recently, she's been playing with my head and kept saying we need breaks, etc, and I'm just far too tired and worn out to chase her and win her back. So I let her be happy - She's in college, I'm not, so it's not like I'll see her everyday. I also deleted my Facebook and Twitter so I wouldn't have to see her update her statuses. But that's not good enough. Of course, I'm still MAD in love with her. She was my first love and the only person in this town who is really good looking, smart and had the same interests as me. Plus we were best friends before going steady, so we had that platform. We took each others' virginities and it was a really close bond because we'd never had sex with anybody else before, so I felt that made us closer if we were going to spend forever with each other. However, now that she's broken up with me, all I can think about in the mornings, evenings, my night dreams and sometimes my day dreams, is her having sex with someone else and enjoying it more... and saying to the guy that he's so much "better" than I was (she has to say that because otherwise she'd upset him?) What can I do? I'm panicking.. I don't like the feeling of her being with anyone else, let alone being screwed by them in her bed.. It makes me sick and really upset especially because I'm still in love with her and I think I might be for a really long time. Thanks :\

[Edwardo]

Your doing a good job of not chaseing her. Chasing someone is an act of desperation, makes you look needy, clingy, and a creeper! very unattractive. Alright buddy this is what you need to do- Continue the no-contact, that means no text, phone calls, e-mails, letters, etc. Cut this girl out of your life (I know it will be hard but its for the best). Next go out with your friends! if you have a best friend vent to him your feelings (it helps).



DO NOT CHASE! I'm telling you its a bad idea. I chased after my first "love" and it just pushes them away even more.

You can not win someone feelings! Be a MAN and hold your ground, don't be a wussy and start crying to her and telling her that you will change.

Remember:

1. Do not chase

2. get rid of anything that reminds you of her (put away).

3. Get together with your friends.

4. Go work out (gets rid of streess)

5. Keep yourself and mind busy.

6. Date other women, from another town.

7. This is her LOSS not yours (keep telling yourself that).

8. accept that the relationship is over.

9. Its not the end of the world.

10. This pain you are feeling will make you a stronger person.

[Asker]

Thanks man.. this is the best advice so far... I'm doing 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5. I don't feel like 6 because a) there's no decent girls around here (unless they're in college and therefore 3 years younger than me) and I just don't feel like it. 7 is true. 8 I accepted a long time ago but it's still hard. :( Ty

[jujujings]

I think you know that it this relationship wasn't meeting all your needs. I believe you when you state that you are consumed by her in your thoughts and dreams but now it's time to do what other posters stated and move on. Join a club or a social networking group with people your age. There is another girl out there waiting to meet you when your ready. It wouldn't be fair to a new girl now with how you feel.Take time to work on you and discover what it is you need in a relationship.

[irennereena]

You have to face her and your feelings. If you really love her then you have to tell her and chase after her. You can't just sit there and not do anything. She might think that you're not interested in her anymore. I think you should be a man and fight for your love. If she doesn't want to get back to you after you've said your side, then it's her loss already not yours. At least you already said your feelings. You can do it. Be brave and let nothing scare you. Take risks. Hope you fell better :)

[Asker]

I do love her a lot. But she won't get back with me if I tried. I'm sure she knows how much I love her too... she's just trying to ignore me to pretend that I don't exist so she can move on.

[Shakira]

ok so I know what you are talking about becos I have 2 friends who broke up for the same reasons... what she is trying to say is you need to focus on your goals in life and grow as a person. being together is stopping you from doing what you need to do as an individual to become who you are ;) so just move on.. work on yourself and if you guys are ment to be you will eventually get back together...

[Asker]

I wish this were the case... I genuinely think she's just fallen out of love with me and she's already moved on, because she was emotionless when she broke up with me in the car. I was balling my eyes out but she was fine and dandy.. pretending to be upset probably.

[monkey131]

Tell how you feel. Tell her you love her and don't think you can forget about her. If she's all you think about then maybe you were supposed to chase her and win her back. Go for it.

[Asker]

Nah.. the last time we encountered, I invited her into my car and we had a chat about what was wrong and she wanted to break up and when I said "is there a chance you'll change your mind about me again and want me back?" she said no. So if she ever wants me back, she'll have to contact me because there's no point in me trying to get her back. I just want to feel better about her having sex with a new guy and it might help me sleep better too..

[monkey131]

Well to make you feel better then just think she wanted to. That it made her happy. If you love her then you'd want her to be happy.

[Asker]

Yeah I guess. The worst part is that she'll have to lie to her new boyfriend. I was AMAZING.. So kind, took all the abuse and arguments, bought her amazing birthday presents - but even if her new boyfriend is lazy, nasty and arrogant, she will have to tell him that he's better than me in every way or he'll leave her... That includes sex and everything else. :(

[Anonymous]

dude get back on chasing her you gotta be following chasin ya dream LET`S GET IT!

[Opinion Owner]

Why you hatin?hate is for SUCKAZ